what did YOU do this weekend?

[smurfalicious]

Friday, 6pm: set odometer, leave

Friday, 11pm: arrive, 230 miles later at a friend's infamous house, Key West. It's boozin' time.

Sat, 10am-12pm: margaritas, beach, margaritas, and entertainment courtesy "Brian", who just left his wife - and rehab - and has been getting drunk at the bar in Key West for 3 or 5 days. He shakes uncontrollably. He has lost his car keys, his clothes, his sobriety, his wife, and now his car. He cries in his vodka.

Sat, 12pm - 7pm: Brian was a real downer. We leave to walk the streets of Key West for Lobster fest. We eat lobster, shop, have fish sandwiches at BO's for lunch, return to the clubhouse for a swim and margaritas, Half Shells for lobster/clam/oyster dinner, and for dessert - frozen, chocolate-covered key lime pie on a stick. Ba-donk-a-donk, indeed.

Sat, 10pm: boys decide it's going to be a titty bar night, which is, conveniently, two blocks away. Em stays home with the girls, I put on my best slutty shirt and accompany the men to make sure they have a good time - but not too good - and find their way home. B calls the strippers over by shouting "whore", while N calls one Zsa-Zsa and screams no way in hell - he won't tip strippers older than him. She left the stage immediately. This is only the beginning of the antics I can't repeat at this time for fear of implicating myself and/or others. I still can't believe we didn't get thrown out.

Sun, 4 am: arrive back at the Sugar Shack, piss drunk, smelling of stripper stink, ATM cards still cooling off. B has finally stopped shouting "whore". Em is awoken by a deafening and deliberate belch into her room, and drunkards scrounging for food.

Sun 8 am: who isn't pissing, and swallowing aspirin?

Sun 10am: breakfast, more of Duval Street, lunch in Islamorada, and then the looooooong drive home.


And now I can't sleep...