Bruises - Page 4

theotherguy · 10-10-2007, 05:00 PM

Freaks.

OK. So, I think Razz's bruises are from a bar fight with a 3ft midget wielding nothing but a very stale loaf of bread and a non-lethal cat-o-three-tails.

SteveDallas · 10-10-2007, 05:51 PM

Why three? Is there numerological significance?

theotherguy · 10-10-2007, 05:54 PM

Nope. I had not noticed I used the number three twice in one sentence (the numbers in this one were on purpose).

Razzmatazz13 · 10-10-2007, 09:32 PM

LOL I was going to tell after the next guess...but now you're all amusing me with responses...guess I'll have to keep it a secret a little longer

Flint · 10-10-2007, 09:54 PM

I think lumberjim's face qualifies as a bruise on the ass of good taste.

lumberjim · 10-11-2007, 12:36 AM

HOW'D YOU LIKE A NICE BRUISE ON YOUR BEANBAG?!!

I'll rochambeaux you.

HungLikeJesus · 10-12-2007, 04:31 PM

I was once standing by a hydraulic press that broke and was hit in the face by a solid bar of steel - right across the nose and cheek. As far as I remember, that's the only bruise I've ever had. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures. I didn't consider the possibility that it was an art form.

theotherguy · 10-12-2007, 04:34 PM

That's what ya get for pissin' off a hydraulic press.

10-13-2007, 01:02 AM

I've got a pic of a real bad one from my angeo somewhere.

Sundae · 10-13-2007, 04:35 AM

My Dad showed my brother a picture of the bruise on my foot last night. IN CHURCH!

We were there for my niece's confirmation, so Dad had his camera of course. Before the service started he was checking it was all set up (there was a photo op at the altar to stop people taking pics during the service) and he came across it. He was so pleased with himself that neither my brother nor I reminded him that bro had seen the real thing when I was here last weekend.

ZenGum · 10-13-2007, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Razzmatazz13

I'll leave the mystery here for you guys to guess what these are from.

1. Attacked by vicious three toed sloth with a penchant for headbutting, said sloth being offended by your apparent lack of belly button. (Where is it, btw?)

2. Playing ultimate frisbee on a mostly-grass field with a few bits of gravel ... dived for the disk, landed awkwardly on the disk leading to stomach bruising, scratches caused by gravel (see, personal experience).

3. Tragic and gruesome photoshop accident.

4. Oversized dog with amorous intent.

5. A small, one-man fighter penetrated the outer defenses, evaded the batteries, flew along this trench here (use your imagination, kiddies) and released proton torpedoes, striking this cooling duct (which explains why she has no navel).

6. Self inflicted for fashion reasons. Goddamn emo kids these days.

Seriously, though: there are sets of vertical scratches and horizontal scratches, so not caused by the same motion of impact. There is one serious bruise and a few lesser bruises. My best guess is you were at a party, had a drink, high-heel gave way and toppled you into a rather spiky shrub. Various scratches from twiggy branches, big bruise from the main impact on the trunk ...
Probably wrong though. How about I come around and kiss them better for you. Wait, you are expired jailbait aren't you?

xoxoxoBruce · 10-13-2007, 08:53 AM

They aren't scratches.

ZenGum · 10-13-2007, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

They aren't scratches.

What, then?
Pinches? Welts (a la cat-o-three tails)? Love bites from a duck? What?

Sundae · 10-13-2007, 10:49 AM

Ahem, stretch marks.

ZenGum · 10-13-2007, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Ahem, stretch marks.

I didn't want to say that.

Apparently I did these (see n00bs thread in cellar meta), I'm sorry Razz.

10-10-2007, 09:32 PM	#49
Razzmatazz13 Vicariously, I live... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,221	LOL I was going to tell after the next guess...but now you're all amusing me with responses...guess I'll have to keep it a secret a little longer __________________ I have some people I need to have smoted. ~ SteveDallas

10-10-2007, 09:54 PM	#50
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I think lumberjim's face qualifies as a bruise on the ass of good taste. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-11-2007, 12:36 AM	#51
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	HOW'D YOU LIKE A NICE BRUISE ON YOUR BEANBAG?!! I'll rochambeaux you. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-12-2007, 04:31 PM	#52
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	I was once standing by a hydraulic press that broke and was hit in the face by a solid bar of steel - right across the nose and cheek. As far as I remember, that's the only bruise I've ever had. Sorry, but I didn't get any pictures. I didn't consider the possibility that it was an art form. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

10-12-2007, 04:34 PM	#53
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	That's what ya get for pissin' off a hydraulic press. __________________ I should be working.

10-10-2007, 05:00 PM	#46
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	Freaks. OK. So, I think Razz's bruises are from a bar fight with a 3ft midget wielding nothing but a very stale loaf of bread and a non-lethal cat-o-three-tails.

10-10-2007, 05:51 PM	#47
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Why three? Is there numerological significance?

10-10-2007, 05:54 PM	#48
theotherguy no not that other guy, the other one Join Date: May 2007 Location: TN Posts: 640	Nope. I had not noticed I used the number three twice in one sentence (the numbers in this one were on purpose).

10-13-2007, 01:02 AM	#54
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	I've got a pic of a real bad one from my angeo somewhere.

10-13-2007, 04:35 AM	#55
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	My Dad showed my brother a picture of the bruise on my foot last night. IN CHURCH! We were there for my niece's confirmation, so Dad had his camera of course. Before the service started he was checking it was all set up (there was a photo op at the altar to stop people taking pics during the service) and he came across it. He was so pleased with himself that neither my brother nor I reminded him that bro had seen the real thing when I was here last weekend. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-13-2007, 08:53 AM	#57
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	They aren't scratches.

10-13-2007, 10:49 AM	#59
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Ahem, stretch marks. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

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