Perspective on the US from an expat working in China

[Riddil]

Originally Posted by slang

There are a few questions that I have for both you and ZG. This question came to me today after talking with some of the neighbors.

Acutally, I just put up a (stupidly long) post about my perspective of life in China. Many questions may be answered indirectly there. But that post is more a life-in-general posting, and not so much a personal impression, so I'll try to answer as best I can here....

I actually clipped out your specific questions, because the answers are all so deeply affected by how I answer the first one:

Most Chinese haven't been exposed to any real-life foreigners. The reaction I get is typically stares. Shanghai is better, but move out to the suburbs and it's still awkward. Plus, they also tend to be very distrusting of foreigners in general. Overall most folks are very accepting. But since it's such an isolationist culture they lock out each other, which means they especially lock out foreigners.

By and large, they're not interested in being friends. It seems the way most Chinese friendships are built is through school. People stay in touch with their high school and University chums their whole life, and that's the predominant extent of their social circles. Bars and clubs are still seen as "evil", so most people still spend their nights either in the office or at home. Weekends about all you'll do is go to a park or KTV, but that's typically only with your immediate friends / family. It's a very secluded atmosphere. The exception is the old retired folks... they congregate in masses to dance and play mahjong and ping-pong.

However, there are a few over-motivated new businessmen that will stride across a busy street just to come up and try to strike up a conversation with me. To me it feels like they're fishing for any opportunity to make a network connection so that they find the secret to untold riches.

I'm in a similar situation to you. I actually avoided the "foreigner communities", and I live in a very common area. But NO ONE tries to make friends, or even strike up a conversation. Even when I talk in my broken Chinese with people they won't even try to answer, they'll do their best to point, or nod, but they're too (scared? ashamed? surprised?) to try to answer back directly.

And yeah, many people fully expect Americans to be loud and obnoxious. Which I count as a benefit since it means everyone always has low expectations for me, it's easy to surpass those expectations

[slang]

Originally Posted by Riddil

Most Chinese haven't been exposed to any real-life foreigners. The reaction I get is typically stares.

That makes sense.

Most everyone here has at least seen some foreigners. This country is completely different and has been a colony for much of it's history.

Only the kids stare at me.

Thanks for taking the time out to answer my questions.