I'm polyamorous and into the BDSM lifestyle as a switch and bottom. - Page 6

monster · 11-23-2008, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Treasenuak

I do drink a little in the mornings if I'm not working. HOWEVER... and this is a big one... I do NOT have more than the equivalent of one beer if I am the only adult in the house with my daughter. Anything more than that happens only after she is asleep, or if Ted is present to watch her for me.

Trea, I'm sure it was just a wording error, but just in case... you still need a sober adult present if you drink once she's asleep. What if she wakes with a dangerously high fever requiring medication or hospitalization? Or falls out of bed and gashes her head? Or less dramatically, wakes with a bad dream and can't rouse you.

classicman · 11-23-2008, 02:09 PM

What monster said - its just parenting 001!

xoxoxoBruce · 11-23-2008, 02:14 PM

What? You're not allowed to put your feet up and relax, with an adult beverage, while they sleep, until they're 18? Then there's a shitload of bad parents in this country... every night.

classicman · 11-23-2008, 02:20 PM

I agree Bruce - there are a shitload of bad parents in this country... every night. HYPOTHETICALLY - I don't think it is wise, nor ok for a single parent being the only responsible adult in the house to get drunk to the point of passing out.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-23-2008, 02:21 PM

She said one beer.

Aliantha · 11-23-2008, 02:30 PM

Daryl and I often share a bottle of wine when the kids have gone to bed. Actually, it usually starts at dinner and then we polish it off.

Technically that'd put both of us over the limit if we were to drive, but either one of us could certainly dial 000 if it were an emergency.

classicman · 11-23-2008, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

She said one beer.

No she said "Anything more than that happens only after she is asleep, or if Ted is present to watch her for me."
Which is why I said HYPOTHETICALLY - I was specifically NOT talking about her.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-23-2008, 07:03 PM

Bah, ya can't hide your loathing diatribe behind a "HYPOTHETICALLY", ya dogooder.

monster · 11-23-2008, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

What? You're not allowed to put your feet up and relax, with an adult beverage, while they sleep, until they're 18? Then there's a shitload of bad parents in this country... every night.

of course you are. but when they're so little they can't tell you what's wrong and they can't physically come to you and and and.... AND YOU"RE A SINGLE PARENT and they don't have older sibs......... it is not OK to get smashed alone once your baby is asleep. that's why it's so damned hard to be a single parent. I couldn't do it, that's for sure. i guess this stands out for me because I find it pretty irritating when beest is out of town to have to keep it to drivable levels just in case -and when you're the only parent and can't call in reinforcements, somehow you want that beer at the end of the day a little more....

But trea was writing about being responsible in this area and has mentioned that she has a tough time getting stuff into words, so i'm pretty sure this discussion is entirely unnecessary anyway.

classicman · 11-23-2008, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Bah, ya can't hide your loathing diatribe behind a "HYPOTHETICALLY", ya dogooder.

Ahhh but my children are much older now and I have already sacrificed PLENTY. As one with an alcoholic drug abusing ex, I know all too well what the fuck goes on and what HAS to be done and what sacrifices need be made. I made them and I don't regret one single second of any of it.

monster · 11-23-2008, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

either one of us could certainly dial 000 if it were an emergency.

the buggers here make you find two different buttons on the phone, though

The thing is there are two of you.... if one of you overdoes it and passes out, there's back-up. And a bottle of wine between you over the course of an evening is not going to shove you far over "the limit". When he's away, do you do the bottle by yourself (or rather, did you when the kids were tiny?)

Aliantha · 11-24-2008, 12:33 AM

There were lots of nights after my Mum died when I drank myself into a stupor then took pills and passed out. I know it was the wrong thing to do now, but at the time it was pretty hard not to. Many nights I felt like I would have been completely happy to never wake up again. It's probably only thanks to the kids that I never quite took that step right over the edge.

Maybe it sounds pathetic, but I couldn't cope when she was gone, and she was my back up as a single parent...so I felt like I had none.

Anyway, I think people who're in these situations need support not judgement. I was lucky. Just plain lucky that the above mentioned behaviours, and a number of other risky behaviours didn't end in tragedy. I think it's why I have tried in the past to help out when I have felt mothers or parents weren't coping. Sometimes it helps. Other times not, but I'll keep on doing it for the sake of the kids, and in the hope that the parent/s see that they've got more to live for than they think.

Treasenuak · 11-24-2008, 12:19 PM

WOW, I leave for two days and THIS is what happens?! BrianR... THANK you for expressing me better than I can do it myself. And Monster: You were right. Wording error. I should have said after she's asleep AND Ted is there to watch her for me. Just in case. Thanks for the catch!

monster · 11-24-2008, 04:45 PM

trease, sounds like you're doing an awesome job in a tough situ and making sure you don't lose sight of your own needs. good on ya.

Treasenuak · 11-24-2008, 07:23 PM

-blushes- Thank you, Monster... that you should say so means a lot to me. It's been a bit of an uphill fight to get to a place where I am stable enough (mentally as well as with my living situation and such) that I can take care of my child AND satisfy my own baser cravings. It's good to hear an encouraging word now and then

11-23-2008, 02:09 PM	#77
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	What monster said - its just parenting 001! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-23-2008, 02:14 PM	#78
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	What? You're not allowed to put your feet up and relax, with an adult beverage, while they sleep, until they're 18? Then there's a shitload of bad parents in this country... every night. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-23-2008, 02:20 PM	#79
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	I agree Bruce - there are a shitload of bad parents in this country... every night. HYPOTHETICALLY - I don't think it is wise, nor ok for a single parent being the only responsible adult in the house to get drunk to the point of passing out. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

11-23-2008, 02:21 PM	#80
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	She said one beer. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-23-2008, 02:30 PM	#81
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Daryl and I often share a bottle of wine when the kids have gone to bed. Actually, it usually starts at dinner and then we polish it off. Technically that'd put both of us over the limit if we were to drive, but either one of us could certainly dial 000 if it were an emergency. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-23-2008, 07:03 PM	#83
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Bah, ya can't hide your loathing diatribe behind a "HYPOTHETICALLY", ya dogooder. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-24-2008, 12:33 AM	#87
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	There were lots of nights after my Mum died when I drank myself into a stupor then took pills and passed out. I know it was the wrong thing to do now, but at the time it was pretty hard not to. Many nights I felt like I would have been completely happy to never wake up again. It's probably only thanks to the kids that I never quite took that step right over the edge. Maybe it sounds pathetic, but I couldn't cope when she was gone, and she was my back up as a single parent...so I felt like I had none. Anyway, I think people who're in these situations need support not judgement. I was lucky. Just plain lucky that the above mentioned behaviours, and a number of other risky behaviours didn't end in tragedy. I think it's why I have tried in the past to help out when I have felt mothers or parents weren't coping. Sometimes it helps. Other times not, but I'll keep on doing it for the sake of the kids, and in the hope that the parent/s see that they've got more to live for than they think. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-24-2008, 12:19 PM	#88
Treasenuak Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Central Tennessee Posts: 483	WOW, I leave for two days and THIS is what happens?! BrianR... THANK you for expressing me better than I can do it myself. And Monster: You were right. Wording error. I should have said after she's asleep AND Ted is there to watch her for me. Just in case. Thanks for the catch!

11-24-2008, 04:45 PM	#89
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	trease, sounds like you're doing an awesome job in a tough situ and making sure you don't lose sight of your own needs. good on ya. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

11-24-2008, 07:23 PM	#90
Treasenuak Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Central Tennessee Posts: 483	-blushes- Thank you, Monster... that you should say so means a lot to me. It's been a bit of an uphill fight to get to a place where I am stable enough (mentally as well as with my living situation and such) that I can take care of my child AND satisfy my own baser cravings. It's good to hear an encouraging word now and then

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