Not owning up... and how to address the upset

[JanJan]

I agree with Flint. If he doesn't care about any possible strain this will put on his relationship with that family member, than neither should you. Just go over there, point to what's yours and say I'd like to have that/those back and I'll help you find replacement pieces. You can even throw in a guilt factor to the conversation like "I'd been telling (insert child's name) about the time (how it relates to the piece) and I'd really like to be able to pass that memory in that piece down to (insert child name) in my quilt."
I'm passive agressive, too, and I've always fallen back on the guilt factor, regardless if it's true or not.

[Pooka]

Originally Posted by JanJan

I agree with Flint. If he doesn't care about any possible strain this will put on his relationship with that family member, than neither should you. Just go over there, point to what's yours and say I'd like to have that/those back and I'll help you find replacement pieces. You can even throw in a guilt factor to the conversation like "I'd been telling (insert child's name) about the time (how it relates to the piece) and I'd really like to be able to pass that memory in that piece down to (insert child name) in my quilt."
I'm passive agressive, too, and I've always fallen back on the guilt factor, regardless if it's true or not.

That was the plan however... when we went over to get it ... it was no where to be found and when Flint confronted her she denied having it... even after he told her he'd seen it... I've already told her why I wanted it ... played the guilt card etc... she doesn't care apparently. Nothing I can do... It is a shame and it does impact my view of her and involment, but there isn't anything more I can do about it.

I've managed to fill the gaps with some interesting fabric... not the fabric I intended, but will have to do... and as these blankets will be very visible... for a long time... she will be reminded of her actions perhaps... hoping karma steps in. If she in fact gave the fabric to someone else in quilt form ... someone in the family... it will probably never see the light of day because I've been very vocal about this and pretty much everyone knows and has seen pieces of the fabric in question.

In any case, I'm not going to let it ruin the special gift for my kids... so I've focused my energy on making it as special as I can... sewing it entirely by hand, embroidering it, including fun tactile touches, some neet buttons and a story for each child. It will probably be next Christmas before I'm done, but both kids will be old enough to appreciate what it is by then...