Love and Marriage

[OnyxCougar]

I got married today. There was no ceremony. No expensive party.

We went to the courthouse when it opened. Paid $50 for the license. Went to my friend's house, she's an Ordained Minister. She signed it. The two witnesses signed it. Went back to the courthouse and gave it to the clerk. Paid $10 for the "certified copy", which was the thing I just had signed photocopied on to green paper, embossed and signed again.
I went to work. Changed my benefits so my husband has coverage. Had to flash the license.

I don't feel any differently about him than I did before it was legal. Everyone at work was appalled there was no ceremony. Everyone was stunned I came to work. People wondered if it was legal, since there was no ceremony with us saying "We do." I keep telling them that when you get the marriage license, you're saying, "We plan to." When the Ceremony takes place, the officiant signs it and that means, "We did." He returns it to the courthouse and "We are." The ceremony is just that. A ceremony. We did without it. We are still married.

I thought it would be interesting to hear your views on weddings/ceremonies/traditions, and perhaps hear funny stories.



Oh, and on a side note, I am now an Ordained Minister. I am having business cards made up. Really.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Thanks a lot. I was going to show up on Wednesday and throw rice, you party pooper.
Oh well, congratulations and give Steve my condolences.:p

[OnyxCougar]

Hopefully you'll be able to tell him yourself at the next GTG. When and where is that?

[xoxoxoBruce]

Damifino

[OnyxCougar]

You're always so helpful, sweetie.

[xoxoxoBruce]

OK then, Saturday at your house.

[OnyxCougar]

right on! Everyone bring their own food and drinks, I'll provide as much floor space as we can fit bodies, and there is a big back yard (around the side of the building) for the bbq. I have to work saturday tho, so sunday is better for me. RSVP.

[Elspode]

I am so damn envious of you Easterners at times like this. There doesn't seem to be enough Midwestern Cellarites to be worthwhile to host a gathering here.

OC...through which organization did you receive ordination? The Mrs. does legal marriages by dint of our having organized as a Missouri not-for-profit (but not tax-exempt) church, but she actually finds herself doing more non-legally binding same-sex ceremonies than anything else. She's also way too cheap. $25.00 and a pre-ceremonial organizing dinner in most cases.

And by the way...ritual *is* important, for a lot of reasons. On the other hand, no one can sanctify a union between two people besides those two people...and you seem to have done that!

[wolf]

Congrats, onyx!!

[OnyxCougar]

Originally posted by Elspode

OC...through which organization did you receive ordination?

I got it here. My ordination date is September 20, 2003. The woman that married me is Wiccan, and she's taken on the title of "Ordained Priestess". I like it, and have decided to use it. I'm really a Rev. now. MUHAHAH! But seriously, the ULC is rather Wiccan at heart, in the spirit of "An ye harm none..." So I figured why not? Steve (who is kinda religious) finds it slightly offensive. I'm still trying to explain that it's a title, but he's caught up on the whole "holiness" and "religious education" thing. I'll sway him eventually.

And by the way...ritual *is* important, for a lot of reasons. On the other hand, no one can sanctify a union between two people besides those two people...and you seem to have done that!

I agree ritual is important, but it's not REQUIRED. And most people don't know that. We had our own little ceremony at home, and that, more than anything, sealed the deal.

[elSicomoro]

As I've said to others recently, congratulations/I'm sorry.

There are mitigating factors that make marriage not in our best interest right now. But even if those factors weren't there, we still wouldn't get married. We probably will eventually...but we're just not at that frame of mind right now. Things are great with us...and that's all that matters.

Bruce is going to have the next GTG at his house b/c he wants to show off his dodads. I know he wants to do this...he just hasn't come clean about it yet.

[hot_pastrami]

Good on you guys. If you got married exactly the way you wanted to, then you did it right. Don't let anybody give you any shit about it.

Much happiness and stuff.

[Tobiasly]

When Elizabeth and I got married, we had a private ceremony (immediate family only) followed by a public reception. It worked out very well, and I think everyone enjoyed it pretty well.

Most people don't give a rat's ass about the ceremony, but sit through it, bored out of their minds, because they're "supposed to".

I'm all for bucking tradition and doing what works well for you.

And congrats, OC!

[hot_pastrami]

Originally posted by Tobiasly
When Elizabeth and I got married, we had a private ceremony (immediate family only) followed by a public reception. It worked out very well, and I think everyone enjoyed it pretty well.

That is exactly what Britt and I did. We got married in a small ceremony with family, went on the honeymoon, then had the reception at our house when we got back. It was perfect, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. It's definitely better than stressing out over a big, complicated ceremony with lots of people, where if anthing goes wrong it's a disaster that ruins the wedding day!! AAAH!

OC and Steve just one-upped us and skipped even the little crap. Damn over-acheivers.

[Elspode]

Originally posted by OnyxCougar


I agree ritual is important, but it's not REQUIRED. And most people don't know that. We had our own little ceremony at home, and that, more than anything, sealed the deal.

Woo hoo! No handfasting is complete without the consumation!

The Mrs. is also ordained through the ULC, but she chooses not to use the title of Rev., although many in our community do. Congratulations on both major events!