Tiki Bitches About...

Shawnee123 · 04-10-2009, 10:22 AM

ohhhhhhhhh K.

04-10-2009, 10:42 AM

One thing I will have none of is someone telling me I need to adjust my boundaries to suit someone else. I also don't like having my ass grabbed... that's a boundary. If I was living with a guy who really liked to come up to me in the morning and grab my ass, would Undertoad be telling me that it's a control issue, and I need to adjust my boundary to be a better housemate?

I'm sorry, but telling me I should adjust my boundary, which in this case is a dislike of pointless attention-grabbing chitchat from other adults when I'm in my office trying to prepare for work, is just plain stupid.

One of her favorite meaningless ways to pollute the air with talkingtalking includes pretending that her dog has said something, like "Rover was telling me the other day that he believes that it's a real shame that the squirrel commodity market has gone up so far that his favorite bar no longer serves squirrel pie, what do you think about that Tiki?"

What the shit

I just want to check my email and drink my tea. My office needs a door with a lock.

Just to add further clarity, she is a lovely, highly intelligent, creative person and a dear friend for many years. She is by no means stupid or vapid, and in most ways is as close to an ideal housemate as I could have. She just has a compulsive need to be talking ALL THE TIME, making sounds, trying to engage others regardless of what they're doing. Perhaps it is a deep-seated loneliness, I don't know. It clashes badly with my introversion and desire to be left alone, but I would rather vent about it here than hurt her feelings and create an awkward living situation by snapping at her.

And yes, I have told her I would like to be left alone in the morning, and I think this is as close to "leaving alone" that she is capable of.

IMO Undertoad's moronic notions that I'm being controlling and should change my boundaries so that these nagging pointless demands at response don't bother me come across as the classic extravert desire to control and "improve" introverts by trying to force them to be more extraverted, with the misguided impression that extraverted = normal and introverted = dysfunctional. I don't respect that point of view, because it is deeply disrespectful to me and to all introverts.

04-10-2009, 10:22 AM	#1
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	ohhhhhhhhh K. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-10-2009, 10:42 AM	#2
Tiki Guest Posts: n/a	One thing I will have none of is someone telling me I need to adjust my boundaries to suit someone else. I also don't like having my ass grabbed... that's a boundary. If I was living with a guy who really liked to come up to me in the morning and grab my ass, would Undertoad be telling me that it's a control issue, and I need to adjust my boundary to be a better housemate? I'm sorry, but telling me I should adjust my boundary, which in this case is a dislike of pointless attention-grabbing chitchat from other adults when I'm in my office trying to prepare for work, is just plain stupid. One of her favorite meaningless ways to pollute the air with talkingtalking includes pretending that her dog has said something, like "Rover was telling me the other day that he believes that it's a real shame that the squirrel commodity market has gone up so far that his favorite bar no longer serves squirrel pie, what do you think about that Tiki?" What the shit I just want to check my email and drink my tea. My office needs a door with a lock. Just to add further clarity, she is a lovely, highly intelligent, creative person and a dear friend for many years. She is by no means stupid or vapid, and in most ways is as close to an ideal housemate as I could have. She just has a compulsive need to be talking ALL THE TIME, making sounds, trying to engage others regardless of what they're doing. Perhaps it is a deep-seated loneliness, I don't know. It clashes badly with my introversion and desire to be left alone, but I would rather vent about it here than hurt her feelings and create an awkward living situation by snapping at her. And yes, I have told her I would like to be left alone in the morning, and I think this is as close to "leaving alone" that she is capable of. IMO Undertoad's moronic notions that I'm being controlling and should change my boundaries so that these nagging pointless demands at response don't bother me come across as the classic extravert desire to control and "improve" introverts by trying to force them to be more extraverted, with the misguided impression that extraverted = normal and introverted = dysfunctional. I don't respect that point of view, because it is deeply disrespectful to me and to all introverts. Last edited by Tiki; 04-10-2009 at 11:05 AM.

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