May 15, 2009: Ancient sculpture has enormous rack

Undertoad · 05-14-2009, 03:46 PM

According to the BBC, this ivory carving is the oldest sculpture of a human figure ever found, at approximately 35,000 years old. And it has... well... big tits.

Sez the Beeb,

Quote:

Professor Nicholas Conard, from the department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, at Tübingen University, said is was understandable that many would also view the new discovery in a pornographic light, but he cautioned against jumping to quickly to a particular interpretation.

"We project our ideas of today on to this image from 40,000 years ago," he told the BBC.

"I think there are good reasons to emphasise sexual interpretations, but we really don't know whether it is coming from a more male or a more female perspective. We don't know very much about how the artefact was used."

Don't know? The male sexual response is enormously visual... and without even ancient culture, never mind the culture of today, ancient males must have been quite primitive...

In my opinion, we are looking at prehistoric pornography. 35,000 years ago, some prehistoric man whacked off to this. It's almost guaranteed.

Hey, I'm only telling you what the Beeb won't admit.

(And some people think the IotD is a Safe For Work zone. I don't think so!)

Sheldonrs · 05-14-2009, 04:47 PM

It's not ivory and it's not what he whacked off TO!

DanaC · 05-14-2009, 04:51 PM

It looks kind of maternal to me ...

... still feel like jacking off to it Toad?

lumberjim · 05-14-2009, 05:01 PM

It's a dönii

didnt you read clan of the cave bear?

Cloud · 05-14-2009, 05:29 PM

its based on an idealized idea of the human figure that rarely existed. Back then, fat people were admired. (how far we've fallen. sigh)

mind out of the gutter, guys!

corydodt · 05-14-2009, 05:46 PM

It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?

lumberjim · 05-14-2009, 06:06 PM

it's like one of those maps.....

they size the component parts in direct relation to how much attention is paid them.

dropmedic · 05-14-2009, 08:58 PM

Dunno, Mr Undertoad, but after all my band days/nights, she could be familiar, though a pressure-washer is called for, in either case. Ya gotta be sure. Hold on, I think.........no, never mind, not Hillary........

classicman · 05-14-2009, 09:17 PM

looks like a whole chicken to me - ewwwwwwwww

capnhowdy · 05-14-2009, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dropmedic

Dunno, Mr Undertoad, but after all my band days/nights, she could be familiar, though a pressure-washer is called for, in either case. Ya gotta be sure. Hold on, I think.........no, never mind, not Hillary........

Hell, it couldn't be Hillary... she's CAST IRON!

We're gonna need some serious tenderizer on this one, folks.

capnhowdy · 05-14-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corydodt

It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?

The sculpt is depicting the old adage:
The bigger the tits, the smaller the brain.

footfootfoot · 05-14-2009, 10:13 PM

Sigh.

It's not sexual at all. How many times do I have to say it?

It's all about the dowas.

The original nom nom nom.

ZenGum · 05-14-2009, 10:27 PM

Classic is right. It's clearly a fried chicken.

New scientist has a small article on the interpretation of it.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-14-2009, 11:51 PM

Yup.

Scriveyn · 05-15-2009, 01:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by corydodt

It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?

There isn't one - it was designed as pendant.

These were found approximatley 30 miles down the road from here. Maybe my grandgrand....grandfather made some

05-14-2009, 04:47 PM	#2
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	It's not ivory and it's not what he whacked off TO! __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

05-14-2009, 05:01 PM	#4
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	It's a dönii didnt you read clan of the cave bear? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 05-14-2009 at 05:42 PM.

05-14-2009, 05:29 PM	#5
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	its based on an idealized idea of the human figure that rarely existed. Back then, fat people were admired. (how far we've fallen. sigh) mind out of the gutter, guys! __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

05-14-2009, 06:06 PM	#7
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	it's like one of those maps..... they size the component parts in direct relation to how much attention is paid them. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

05-14-2009, 09:17 PM	#9
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	looks like a whole chicken to me - ewwwwwwwww __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

05-14-2009, 05:46 PM	#6
corydodt Writer of Writings Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 14	It's SFW as long as you are not working as a hunter-gatherer. What the hell is up with that thing's head though?

05-14-2009, 08:58 PM	#8
dropmedic Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Arnold, Md., 21012 Posts: 5	Dunno, Mr Undertoad, but after all my band days/nights, she could be familiar, though a pressure-washer is called for, in either case. Ya gotta be sure. Hold on, I think.........no, never mind, not Hillary........

05-14-2009, 10:13 PM	#12
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Sigh. It's not sexual at all. How many times do I have to say it? It's all about the dowas. The original nom nom nom. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

05-14-2009, 10:27 PM	#13
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Classic is right. It's clearly a fried chicken. New scientist has a small article on the interpretation of it. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

05-14-2009, 11:51 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Yup. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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