Chinese menus are funny

elSicomoro · 11-09-2003, 02:57 PM

I always see the funniest things on Chinese restaurant menus, be it an American flag or a fried duck (head and bill still attached). This menu came from Golden Kitchen, a local Chinese place we order from occasionally.

I'm curious as to what makes this food special...maybe I shouldn't ask. And what's up with "shrimps"? And do they really fry the spare rib tips?

"Vegetarian meat"...hehe.

Then there's the Party Menu, which is available for hospitals. Huh? Now, maybe they were thinking of the employees at Frankford-Torresdale Hospital, which is in our neighborhood, but I don't really think it a good idea to serve stuff like fried chicken wings to patients.

And what is General Tao's Chicken?

I have GOT to find that menu with the fully fried duck on it...

wolf · 11-09-2003, 03:02 PM

General Tao's Vegetarian Chicken is served with an extra helping of balance and harmony, in addition to the extra spicy red sauce. I recommend the Satori Satay as an appetizer, and Zen Tea for beverage.

elSicomoro · 11-09-2003, 03:10 PM

This is so bad...but since we are talking about Chinese food, I have to throw this in.

breakingnews · 11-09-2003, 04:58 PM

Vegetarian meat is actually a lot better than it sounds. I wouldn't really call it meat, per se - but it's really no different than, say, a boca burger (in texture). If you are okay with tofu, than it wouldn't be anything surprising or unusual.

Of course I have eaten it a few times and thought it really was meat. I've also seen a live cat thrown in a pot of boiling oil in China; I made sure to steer clear of that restaurant.

Yeah, chinese menus in the U.S. are generally pretty ridiculous. I've played English consultant for a few foreign businesses (nothing major though - I wonder if I should make a career out of that). I will admit that whoever started coming up with these american names for chinese foods was pretty creative - they're quite different from the traditional names.

Undertoad · 11-09-2003, 06:17 PM

^ What, you don't go for greasy food?

1 ticket to hell please

slang · 11-09-2003, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by breakingnews
I've also seen a live cat thrown in a pot of boiling oil in China....

That doesnt make sense to me. They cook the cat whole and not just the meat? Yikes.

No wait! The cat was being punished by the Chicoms, right?

bmgb · 11-09-2003, 08:42 PM

One of my best friends, who is from Korea, told me about "liquid cat." I can't tell you the Korean phrase (because I don't know it off hand), but it does translate into English as "liquid cat." It's a very popular dish in Korea. They boil the cat until you get... liquid cat.

She is pretty horrified by the thought of it now. I suppose 10 years of living in the US, and having 2 pet cats, would do that to a good Korean girl.

But, let's hear it for "vegetarian meat." I've never heard it referred to that way, usually it is "mock duck," or "mock [name of meat]." It is also made of wheat gluten, and it can probably be made from a combination of gluten and soy, too. The kind I buy in cans at my fave Asian grocery is made from gluten alone.

My favorite dish is "Mock Duck with Coconut Sauce," from Vo's just down the street from me (it's actually a Vietnamese place). It comes in a very hot and spicy, creamy curry coconut sauce with chopped peanuts on top. "Vegetarian Meat," or mock duck is very juicy and much more tender than I remember real meat being. Best of all, it has no gristle and no cholesterol.

slang · 11-09-2003, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bmgb
They boil the cat until you get... liquid cat.

That's ok by me. Who the hell am I to tell another culture what they can and cant eat. The question is......they dont skin or gut the cat before he goes into the oil?

No thanks, I dont want any of your fresh liquid cat poop soup!

bmgb · 11-09-2003, 09:27 PM

I was referring to an all together different cat dish than breakingnews. My guess is, with liquid cat, they probably at least remove the fur before they boil it (in water).

breakingnews · 11-09-2003, 10:01 PM

Actually, cat dish goes as this:

Pot with boiling water and oil

Add one live cat, fur and all

Cover

When cat stops thrashing and all the fur falls off, the meat is ready

Then it's butchered and prepared in whatever way the chef pleases.

slang · 11-09-2003, 10:25 PM

Christ! I'd at least shoot the sonovabitch first. Bang him in the mellon, something.

Harsh man, very harsh. And I dont even really like cats.

elSicomoro · 11-09-2003, 10:44 PM

I knew what they meant by "vegetarian meat," I've just never heard of it described that way.

I'm not a huge fan of tofu, but I do like soy-based products.

wolf · 11-10-2003, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by breakingnews
Actually, cat dish goes as this:

Pot with boiling water and oil

Add one live cat, fur and all

Cover

Sounds kinda like cooking lobsters.

You don't get toxoplasmosis from lobster shit, though. I'd at least want to split their heads or pith them first. (as some recommend for the crustaceans.)

And no, I'm not going to try cat.

pjshimmer · 11-12-2003, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by breakingnews
Actually, cat dish goes as this:

Pot with boiling water and oil

Add one live cat, fur and all

Cover

When cat stops thrashing and all the fur falls off, the meat is ready

Then it's butchered and prepared in whatever way the chef pleases.

This is news to me. Where in China did you see this again?

pjshimmer · 11-12-2003, 09:37 PM

T: although right now you might think Chinese menus are funny, once you read subtitles from a Hong Kong movie, nothing will compare. One critic once said about a HK movie: everything is good, except the subtitles are correct, thus removing the fun. Obviously he found subtitles at least as amusing as the movie.

11-09-2003, 02:57 PM	#1
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Chinese menus are funny I always see the funniest things on Chinese restaurant menus, be it an American flag or a fried duck (head and bill still attached). This menu came from Golden Kitchen, a local Chinese place we order from occasionally. I'm curious as to what makes this food special...maybe I shouldn't ask. And what's up with "shrimps"? And do they really fry the spare rib tips? "Vegetarian meat"...hehe. Then there's the Party Menu, which is available for hospitals. Huh? Now, maybe they were thinking of the employees at Frankford-Torresdale Hospital, which is in our neighborhood, but I don't really think it a good idea to serve stuff like fried chicken wings to patients. And what is General Tao's Chicken? I have GOT to find that menu with the fully fried duck on it...

11-09-2003, 03:02 PM	#2
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	General Tao's Vegetarian Chicken is served with an extra helping of balance and harmony, in addition to the extra spicy red sauce. I recommend the Satori Satay as an appetizer, and Zen Tea for beverage. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-09-2003, 08:42 PM	#7
bmgb Master of the Domain Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: MN Posts: 231	One of my best friends, who is from Korea, told me about "liquid cat." I can't tell you the Korean phrase (because I don't know it off hand), but it does translate into English as "liquid cat." It's a very popular dish in Korea. They boil the cat until you get... liquid cat. She is pretty horrified by the thought of it now. I suppose 10 years of living in the US, and having 2 pet cats, would do that to a good Korean girl. But, let's hear it for "vegetarian meat." I've never heard it referred to that way, usually it is "mock duck," or "mock [name of meat]." It is also made of wheat gluten, and it can probably be made from a combination of gluten and soy, too. The kind I buy in cans at my fave Asian grocery is made from gluten alone. My favorite dish is "Mock Duck with Coconut Sauce," from Vo's just down the street from me (it's actually a Vietnamese place). It comes in a very hot and spicy, creamy curry coconut sauce with chopped peanuts on top. "Vegetarian Meat," or mock duck is very juicy and much more tender than I remember real meat being. Best of all, it has no gristle and no cholesterol. __________________ That gun will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will be written in blood. - Nobody

11-09-2003, 09:27 PM	#9
bmgb Master of the Domain Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: MN Posts: 231	I was referring to an all together different cat dish than breakingnews. My guess is, with liquid cat, they probably at least remove the fur before they boil it (in water). __________________ That gun will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will be written in blood. - Nobody

11-09-2003, 03:10 PM	#3
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	This is so bad...but since we are talking about Chinese food, I have to throw this in.

11-09-2003, 04:58 PM	#4
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	Vegetarian meat is actually a lot better than it sounds. I wouldn't really call it meat, per se - but it's really no different than, say, a boca burger (in texture). If you are okay with tofu, than it wouldn't be anything surprising or unusual. Of course I have eaten it a few times and thought it really was meat. I've also seen a live cat thrown in a pot of boiling oil in China; I made sure to steer clear of that restaurant. Yeah, chinese menus in the U.S. are generally pretty ridiculous. I've played English consultant for a few foreign businesses (nothing major though - I wonder if I should make a career out of that). I will admit that whoever started coming up with these american names for chinese foods was pretty creative - they're quite different from the traditional names.

11-09-2003, 06:17 PM	#5
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	^ What, you don't go for greasy food? 1 ticket to hell please

11-09-2003, 10:01 PM	#10
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	Actually, cat dish goes as this: Pot with boiling water and oil Add one live cat, fur and all Cover When cat stops thrashing and all the fur falls off, the meat is ready Then it's butchered and prepared in whatever way the chef pleases.

11-09-2003, 10:25 PM	#11
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Christ! I'd at least shoot the sonovabitch first. Bang him in the mellon, something. Harsh man, very harsh. And I dont even really like cats.

11-09-2003, 10:44 PM	#12
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I knew what they meant by "vegetarian meat," I've just never heard of it described that way. I'm not a huge fan of tofu, but I do like soy-based products.

11-12-2003, 09:37 PM	#15
pjshimmer Keeper of the Decorum Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 59	T: although right now you might think Chinese menus are funny, once you read subtitles from a Hong Kong movie, nothing will compare. One critic once said about a HK movie: everything is good, except the subtitles are correct, thus removing the fun. Obviously he found subtitles at least as amusing as the movie.

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