Humor...I Need Humor...

jujuwwhite · 01-12-2010, 08:19 AM

Subject: Ten Truths About Life

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for
anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down
the stairs.

Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, laying in
hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a
substantial tax cut saves you $0.30?

Number 2 In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now
the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 TRUTH: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do
today, might burn your ass tomorrow.'

squirell nutkin · 01-12-2010, 02:44 PM

Variation on #7:
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day; light a man afire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Pete Zicato · 01-12-2010, 03:14 PM

Even as a Christian, I find this funny:
.
.

01-12-2010, 08:19 AM	#1
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	Subject: Ten Truths About Life Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, laying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $0.30? Number 2 In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. AND THE NUMBER 1 TRUTH: 'Life is like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.' __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

01-12-2010, 02:44 PM	#2
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Variation on #7: Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day; light a man afire and he's warm for the rest of his life. __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

01-12-2010, 03:14 PM	#3
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Even as a Christian, I find this funny: . . __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

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