Care giver for parents - Page 3

wolf · 02-24-2010, 12:45 PM

jujuwhite, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad, and the rest of your family. I hope for the best possible outcome.

momwolf had several caths over the years, and finally decided she wasn't going to have another. I supported her in that decision, because the diagnostic/treatment value was far less than the risk involved for her. She had had a quintuple cardiac bypass back before they were cool (mid 1980s) and common. She chugged along quite well for many years, though.

Pie · 02-24-2010, 12:47 PM

Yah, we turned down a cardiac cath for my dad on the day before he died. Fat lot of good it would have done him.

Juju, sweetie, don't run yourself absolutely ragged. Hang in there.

jujuwwhite · 02-25-2010, 08:50 PM

Latest update... I brought dad home from the hospital today and he was in really good spirits acting his usual chipper complaining self! He tries to come off like a disgruntled old man but in the end of cussing out the nurses he will sweetly smile at them, kiss their hand, and tell em thanks for all the patience! The nurse will realize at that very moment that he is a big softy and melt.

It was a hard day however, because the hospital sent in a social worker at the last moment trying to convince dad why he and mom should go to the nursing home since they were both in wheelchairs and disabled. Dad said some very hurtful things to me, or rather about me to the social worker and I must admit it was very difficult not to take it personally but after talking to capn I got over it. He made me realize that sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most.

Hopefully they can start hospice soon to help out with some of the care of him. We'll see day by day.

capnhowdy · 02-26-2010, 03:12 PM

Hospice for Juju's Dad. It is done.

limey · 02-27-2010, 04:06 AM

Juju - my mum said some very hurtful things to me, too, in her last months. Please understand that it is the illness, or an effect of the illness and discomfort, speaking.
I'm thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

wolf · 02-27-2010, 08:48 AM

Hospice is both wonderful and suckful at the same time. They do support both the patient and the family very well. I hope your experience is as positive as mine.

sexobon · 02-28-2010, 01:56 AM

Ho Spice! Wasn't she one of the original Spice Girls? (industry joke)

Seriously though, I convinced my dad that hospice was the way to go when he was dying of cancer last year. It made the best of a bad situation and he died with minimal discomfort. I work in the healthcare industry and have shared patient care responsibility with several hospice organizations. While their performances are not all equal, by and large they do good work; so, you did too.

capnhowdy · 02-28-2010, 07:25 AM

My boss owns several Hospices, and I used to work with them before I started butlering his house. It was rewarding work but I don't really miss it. The Hospice that is caring for Juju's Dad, coincidentally, is owned by my boss.

jujuwwhite · 02-28-2010, 08:32 PM

It's really amazing but Dad seems to have a real peace about him since Hospice came in. I'm glad for it because it helps ease the sadness that one day really soon, I will be loosing the only man (besides capnhowdy) that has ever treated me worth shit!

I have a tattoo on my left arm just above my birth mark. The tattoo is music notes and the words 'daddy's girl' Dad gave me my love of music and I will dearly miss our 'jam sessions' when it was just the two of us playing and singing.

I will miss my dad and sometimes this all seems so surreal. Anyway, thanks again guys for all your support.

Pie · 03-01-2010, 09:10 AM

Enjoy what time you still have with him, even if it's just sitting in the same room while he sleeps.
Best wishes for you, Cap'n and your mom, Juju.

limey · 03-01-2010, 10:37 AM

Pie's advice is sound. Take your knitting (or equivalent) and just be there ...

capnhowdy · 03-10-2010, 08:17 AM

Hospice will deliver the hospital bed and new oxegen equipment etc. today. They have also assigned a worker to do some housework 1 hr a day 5 days a week. Pop is in good spirits. I respect him in that he hasn't whined a lick. And has hosted no pity parties.

I'm gonna miss that dude.

02-24-2010, 12:45 PM	#31
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	jujuwhite, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad, and the rest of your family. I hope for the best possible outcome. momwolf had several caths over the years, and finally decided she wasn't going to have another. I supported her in that decision, because the diagnostic/treatment value was far less than the risk involved for her. She had had a quintuple cardiac bypass back before they were cool (mid 1980s) and common. She chugged along quite well for many years, though. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-24-2010, 12:47 PM	#32
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Yah, we turned down a cardiac cath for my dad on the day before he died. Fat lot of good it would have done him. Juju, sweetie, don't run yourself absolutely ragged. Hang in there. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

02-25-2010, 08:50 PM	#33
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	Latest update... I brought dad home from the hospital today and he was in really good spirits acting his usual chipper complaining self! He tries to come off like a disgruntled old man but in the end of cussing out the nurses he will sweetly smile at them, kiss their hand, and tell em thanks for all the patience! The nurse will realize at that very moment that he is a big softy and melt. It was a hard day however, because the hospital sent in a social worker at the last moment trying to convince dad why he and mom should go to the nursing home since they were both in wheelchairs and disabled. Dad said some very hurtful things to me, or rather about me to the social worker and I must admit it was very difficult not to take it personally but after talking to capn I got over it. He made me realize that sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. Hopefully they can start hospice soon to help out with some of the care of him. We'll see day by day. __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

02-26-2010, 03:12 PM	#34
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Hospice for Juju's Dad. It is done. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-27-2010, 04:06 AM	#35
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Juju - my mum said some very hurtful things to me, too, in her last months. Please understand that it is the illness, or an effect of the illness and discomfort, speaking. I'm thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

02-27-2010, 08:48 AM	#36
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Hospice is both wonderful and suckful at the same time. They do support both the patient and the family very well. I hope your experience is as positive as mine. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-28-2010, 01:56 AM	#37
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Ho Spice! Wasn't she one of the original Spice Girls? (industry joke) Seriously though, I convinced my dad that hospice was the way to go when he was dying of cancer last year. It made the best of a bad situation and he died with minimal discomfort. I work in the healthcare industry and have shared patient care responsibility with several hospice organizations. While their performances are not all equal, by and large they do good work; so, you did too.

02-28-2010, 07:25 AM	#38
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	My boss owns several Hospices, and I used to work with them before I started butlering his house. It was rewarding work but I don't really miss it. The Hospice that is caring for Juju's Dad, coincidentally, is owned by my boss. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

02-28-2010, 08:32 PM	#39
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	It's really amazing but Dad seems to have a real peace about him since Hospice came in. I'm glad for it because it helps ease the sadness that one day really soon, I will be loosing the only man (besides capnhowdy) that has ever treated me worth shit! I have a tattoo on my left arm just above my birth mark. The tattoo is music notes and the words 'daddy's girl' Dad gave me my love of music and I will dearly miss our 'jam sessions' when it was just the two of us playing and singing. I will miss my dad and sometimes this all seems so surreal. Anyway, thanks again guys for all your support. __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

03-01-2010, 09:10 AM	#40
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Enjoy what time you still have with him, even if it's just sitting in the same room while he sleeps. Best wishes for you, Cap'n and your mom, Juju. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-01-2010, 10:37 AM	#41
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Pie's advice is sound. Take your knitting (or equivalent) and just be there ... __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

03-10-2010, 08:17 AM	#42
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	Hospice will deliver the hospital bed and new oxegen equipment etc. today. They have also assigned a worker to do some housework 1 hr a day 5 days a week. Pop is in good spirits. I respect him in that he hasn't whined a lick. And has hosted no pity parties. I'm gonna miss that dude. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

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