Need advice for a friend, quick!

[hot_pastrami]

If everything you're saying is true and for the most part impartial, then for whatever reason, this friend and her husband are on the road to Divorceville... and the husband has a lead foot.

Problems, like objects, have inertia. If the process of slowing down begins too late, the collision with the consequences is ineviable. When things reach a certain stage, which only your friend can identify-- and it may have already happened-- she'll need to start answering some very difficult questions. For instance, if the marraige will always be like it is now, would divorce actually be better?

My advice now, as others have suggested, is to be a good listener, and nothing more. Under any circumstances, don't try to steer her to any conclusions or actions, no matter how strongly you feel. These decisions are huge and life-altering, and no matter how close a friend she is, once it gets down to hard decision-making, outside advice is pollution. Listening good, talking bad.