A Little Help From The Cellar Ladies Please

Gravdigr · 12-27-2010, 06:02 AM

Ok. Here's the thing: Baby has a birthday in January. I want to get her something a little special, so, I ask her what she wants. Here's where I need help:

Baby wants a vibrator.

A vibrator for her birthday would make Baby happy. I like it when Baby's happy.

Now, if I go strolling into the vibrator store, I (being a guy) will prolly come out with something bubble-gum pink, the size of a table leg. Or, not wanting to outdo myself (so-to-speak), something like a lipstick case. Or what's on sale. And I don't know dick about vibrators.

What do women want? A discreet little thing like a Trojan Mini? A dildo? A vibrating dildo? A Hitachi Magic Wand (I hear these things have a cult-like following)? Something molded from Ron Jeremy's actual cock? Should the head swing around? Should it stroke up and down by itself? Baby said not get some little weakling of a vibrator either. Are these things rated by horsepower or RPM, torque, strokes per minute, or what?

I looked for the Trojan Tri Phoria online, but, they range from $40-$80. A Hitachi Magic Wand is like $50. I don't wanna go broke buying something that may very well end up replacing me. How much should I expect to pay for a vibrator? Maybe I should just buy her a paint shaker?

Cellar ladies, I need help. I need to keep Baby happy!

As always, any help and all opinions will be appreciated.

And don't even talk to me about Sybians or Fuck Machines.

Don't forget, you can use the 'anonymous' account, if you worry about that sort of thing.

Sundae · 12-27-2010, 06:10 AM

Mum asked me to get her a vibrator about 10 years ago.
She said she didn't know who else to ask and she couldn't imagine looking for herself.

The thing at the time was the Rampant Rabbit.
I got her one and it was (you may say) satisfactory (Eliot! In a vibrator thread!)
She wasn't initially happy - OMG, I just wanted something simple! - but she was won round. I didn't ask for details.

I've never been impressed with anything I've tried, personally. But then I wouldn't buy an expensive one for myself, simply because I anticipate being disappointed. I've used them with partners - yes that's great. But alone is a different matter.

Find out what she wants it for - ie together time or alone time.
Simple buzzing will do for together time.
Lots of rubbery extras and twirly bits for alone time.

I intended to buy one for myself in Amsterdam, but they take the whole business pretty seriously over there, and they were all above my budget. I'd drop a hint for my Secret Santa next year, but it would be well over his/ her budget too!

She's a lucky lady Grav.

Clodfobble · 12-27-2010, 09:24 AM

Just like with actual sex, each woman on this planet wants something completely different from every other woman. Perhaps you could go shopping together? Or browse online together, at least to get some ideas.

morethanpretty · 12-27-2010, 10:14 AM

I agree with clod, admit to her you need some help. Do a bit of web browsing together to get ideas, that can be very fun...

@SG, when you get the money, I would advise to try the slightly more expensive ones. The one Della chewed up was around $50...I loved it.

wolf · 12-27-2010, 10:54 AM

One of my cow orkers was briefly a sex toy party salesbeast.

She recommends either the rabbit or the dolphin (which is esssentially the same as the rabbit, but the bottlenose's nose does the business rather than the bunny ears.)

Jaydaan · 12-27-2010, 06:47 PM

As I sell sex toys.... To find how well a vibe will work for each woman, you can test it on her upper lip. The feeling is close to the *ahem* other lips.
I find 2 items to be very popular.

1) a Bullet
It is a small clitoral vib, that can be inserted as well. They run from $10-80, The ones I sell are $17 before shipping and last an active person about 2-3 years before the motor dies. These are good for oral sex as well, if they are placed alongside the jaw, and set on low. IF a couple is really adventurous, these can be inserted anally as well. If used for anal, DO NOT use them for vaginal until thouroughly cleaned! You can get remote control ones too.. but I find these to be one hit wonders, and are not worth the serious money.

2) rabbit or hummingbird
The rabbits come in different sizes and colours. They tend to have 3 or more functions/speeds. Rabbits usually have "pearls" that move. I find they some of these jam. They will not work well if they get bent in any angle. I find most people fit into 2 catagories with regards to the rabbits. LOVE them, or HATE them. No middle ground.
Humming bird is the same, I find its more slender, and has a G-spot stimulator as well. Both items have clitoris stimulators as well as 4-9 inch insertion vibes. Most are 5-6 inches. The humming bird rotates as well as "thrusts", both vibtrate. I prefer the humming bird.
The rabbits range from $45-$275. I sell several on each price range and many in between. The humming bird is $80 and well worth the coin.
There are many types of toys on my site (symtimates.com) take a peek and see if there is anything you guys like. Ask as many questions as you need to. If you decide to get anything from me, I will do my best to give you the best deal I can.

anonymous · 12-27-2010, 07:35 PM

Corrected link here

plthijinx · 12-27-2010, 07:38 PM

what ever you do, don't buy one bigger than your *ahem* junk!

jujuwwhite · 12-28-2010, 02:48 AM

A Tulip vibrator is affordable but does get the job done. (Not that I need them anymore thanks to CapnHowdy.).

Perry Winkle · 12-28-2010, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaydaan

1) a Bullet
It is a small clitoral vib, that can be inserted as well. They run from $10-80, The ones I sell are $17 before shipping and last an active person about 2-3 years before the motor dies.

My wife is a big fan of these. The problem we have with the lower end (~$20)is that they die every year or so. I'm going to get her a high end one in February. I hope it lasts longer.

Gravdigr · 12-28-2010, 04:55 PM

There's a Jenna's Adult Toy Box about an hour away, I'm thinking about this one.

Any opinions?

Gravdigr · 12-28-2010, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Find out what she wants it for - ie together time or alone time. She's a lucky lady Grav.

I'm hoping to God it's for 'together time'! Ima wield the weapon the first time, anywho. I keep telling her how she lucky she could be, but, so far, she ain't biting. At least she ain't bit me. Yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Perhaps you could go shopping together? Or browse online together, at least to get some ideas.

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

I agree with clod, admit to her you need some help. Do a bit of web browsing together to get ideas, that can be very fun...

She told me she wants one, but, I think she kinda wants to be surprised. I said to her, I says, "Well let's go get one." She says, quote, "You can get it, just look around, you'll find one". So I take it she wants me to get it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by plthijinx

what ever you do, don't buy one bigger than your *ahem* junk!

I hear ya brother!

ETA: She had two bullets. Kilt 'em both. That's my Baby!

Gravdigr · 12-28-2010, 05:21 PM

Is this like the "rabbit" we refer to?

DanaC · 12-28-2010, 05:43 PM

Just to show that there is a comedy/standup clip for every possible occasion:

About six or seven mins in he starts talking about the Rabbit :P

Sundae · 12-29-2010, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Perry Winkle

My wife is a big fan of these.

Married, Perry?
When did this happen? My invite must have got lost in the post...

12-27-2010, 06:02 AM	#1
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	A Little Help From The Cellar Ladies Please Ok. Here's the thing: Baby has a birthday in January. I want to get her something a little special, so, I ask her what she wants. Here's where I need help: Baby wants a vibrator. A vibrator for her birthday would make Baby happy. I like it when Baby's happy. Now, if I go strolling into the vibrator store, I (being a guy) will prolly come out with something bubble-gum pink, the size of a table leg. Or, not wanting to outdo myself (so-to-speak), something like a lipstick case. Or what's on sale. And I don't know dick about vibrators. What do women want? A discreet little thing like a Trojan Mini? A dildo? A vibrating dildo? A Hitachi Magic Wand (I hear these things have a cult-like following)? Something molded from Ron Jeremy's actual cock? Should the head swing around? Should it stroke up and down by itself? Baby said not get some little weakling of a vibrator either. Are these things rated by horsepower or RPM, torque, strokes per minute, or what? I looked for the Trojan Tri Phoria online, but, they range from $40-$80. A Hitachi Magic Wand is like $50. I don't wanna go broke buying something that may very well end up replacing me. How much should I expect to pay for a vibrator? Maybe I should just buy her a paint shaker? Cellar ladies, I need help. I need to keep Baby happy! As always, any help and all opinions will be appreciated. And don't even talk to me about Sybians or Fuck Machines. Don't forget, you can use the 'anonymous' account, if you worry about that sort of thing. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-27-2010, 06:10 AM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Mum asked me to get her a vibrator about 10 years ago. She said she didn't know who else to ask and she couldn't imagine looking for herself. The thing at the time was the Rampant Rabbit. I got her one and it was (you may say) satisfactory (Eliot! In a vibrator thread!) She wasn't initially happy - OMG, I just wanted something simple! - but she was won round. I didn't ask for details. I've never been impressed with anything I've tried, personally. But then I wouldn't buy an expensive one for myself, simply because I anticipate being disappointed. I've used them with partners - yes that's great. But alone is a different matter. Find out what she wants it for - ie together time or alone time. Simple buzzing will do for together time. Lots of rubbery extras and twirly bits for alone time. I intended to buy one for myself in Amsterdam, but they take the whole business pretty seriously over there, and they were all above my budget. I'd drop a hint for my Secret Santa next year, but it would be well over his/ her budget too! She's a lucky lady Grav. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-27-2010, 09:24 AM	#3
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Just like with actual sex, each woman on this planet wants something completely different from every other woman. Perhaps you could go shopping together? Or browse online together, at least to get some ideas. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

12-27-2010, 10:14 AM	#4
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I agree with clod, admit to her you need some help. Do a bit of web browsing together to get ideas, that can be very fun... @SG, when you get the money, I would advise to try the slightly more expensive ones. The one Della chewed up was around $50...I loved it. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

12-27-2010, 10:54 AM	#5
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	One of my cow orkers was briefly a sex toy party salesbeast. She recommends either the rabbit or the dolphin (which is esssentially the same as the rabbit, but the bottlenose's nose does the business rather than the bunny ears.) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

12-27-2010, 06:47 PM	#6
Jaydaan Knight of the Oval-Shaped Conference Table Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Vernon, BC, Canada Posts: 378	As I sell sex toys.... To find how well a vibe will work for each woman, you can test it on her upper lip. The feeling is close to the ahem other lips. I find 2 items to be very popular. 1) a Bullet It is a small clitoral vib, that can be inserted as well. They run from $10-80, The ones I sell are $17 before shipping and last an active person about 2-3 years before the motor dies. These are good for oral sex as well, if they are placed alongside the jaw, and set on low. IF a couple is really adventurous, these can be inserted anally as well. If used for anal, DO NOT use them for vaginal until thouroughly cleaned! You can get remote control ones too.. but I find these to be one hit wonders, and are not worth the serious money. 2) rabbit or hummingbird The rabbits come in different sizes and colours. They tend to have 3 or more functions/speeds. Rabbits usually have "pearls" that move. I find they some of these jam. They will not work well if they get bent in any angle. I find most people fit into 2 catagories with regards to the rabbits. LOVE them, or HATE them. No middle ground. Humming bird is the same, I find its more slender, and has a G-spot stimulator as well. Both items have clitoris stimulators as well as 4-9 inch insertion vibes. Most are 5-6 inches. The humming bird rotates as well as "thrusts", both vibtrate. I prefer the humming bird. The rabbits range from $45-$275. I sell several on each price range and many in between. The humming bird is $80 and well worth the coin. There are many types of toys on my site (symtimates.com) take a peek and see if there is anything you guys like. Ask as many questions as you need to. If you decide to get anything from me, I will do my best to give you the best deal I can.

12-27-2010, 07:35 PM	#7
anonymous Operations Operative Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in hiding Posts: 578	Corrected link here

12-27-2010, 07:38 PM	#8
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	what ever you do, don't buy one bigger than your ahem junk! __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

12-28-2010, 02:48 AM	#9
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	A Tulip vibrator is affordable but does get the job done. (Not that I need them anymore thanks to CapnHowdy.). __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

12-28-2010, 04:55 PM	#11
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	There's a Jenna's Adult Toy Box about an hour away, I'm thinking about this one. Any opinions? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-28-2010, 05:21 PM	#13
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Is this like the "rabbit" we refer to? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

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