Who has the most dysfunctional relative? - Page 3

be-bop · 12-27-2010, 06:28 PM

Reading some of the stories fairly cheers me up, not because of the hassle or the hurt caused to others but because I thought it was only my crew that had the problems.
Seems like every family has them, the odd Uncle,batty mother,sister ,brother

jujuwwhite · 12-28-2010, 02:52 AM

I know that feeling! That's why I stopped going to the family reunions that way if I wasn't there they could all talk openly without having to hide around the corner when I entered the room. HEHEHE

xoxoxoBruce · 12-29-2010, 09:56 AM

My mother is starting to understand my long held position that being related means jackshit. If they are not friends, fuck 'em.

Sundae · 12-29-2010, 11:12 AM

Given it's now the 29th and Mum hasn't spoken to me (directly or even indirectly) since Christmas Day, I am putting her forward instead of my sister.

Luckily, Dad is talking to me again, so maybe I got more genes from his side of the family or something. I mean, I know I'm a nutter if you scratch the surface, but she really is making this into a saga now.

Oh, and if you wonder why I'm not addressing this, it's because I am actually terrified of her when she's in this incarnation. She's never threatened me with physical violence - as she has Dad - but I think that's because she knows that will rouse my own temper and I'd probably challenge her to do it (and perhaps even smack her back). But she can reduce me to tears with a well-considered line. And she's had plenty of time - 38 years - to think one up.

Riding it out, riding it out...

BTW I have an appalling temper, hence the claim that I might wallop Mum one if she hit me. I'm not proud of it, just realistic. Which is one of my reasons for backing down, and in this case, hiding. Last time I lost my temper was the whole hoo-ha about me making faces over dinner because Mum was coughing. She stormed out then as well, but as it wasn't icy outside she was actually able to leave the house.

I decided never to eat with them again at that point (somethign I have mostly stuck to). I feel it was my facial expressions and inability to eat given Mum's sniping at Dad that are behind this display. Still. FOUR DAYS.

DanaC · 12-29-2010, 11:20 AM

That's fucked up Sundae. If facial expressions are all it takes to bring this shit down on you, my God, what can you do?

zippyt · 12-29-2010, 03:36 PM

Could be worse ,

footfootfoot · 12-29-2010, 04:33 PM

I think all of you should just bow out of this contest gracefully. We have a winner:
Curtis Bowen©

Clodfobble · 12-19-2013, 08:27 AM

It's the holiday season, and the yellow beret fanatic described in the first post of this thread is at it again!

The first Christmas after my grandmother died, her Pagan poet husband gave us all the same thing: a bronze-ish candle stand, about a foot tall, stylized to appear as if three abstract female figures were holding up the main plate for the candle. This was supposed to represent "the three Marys" who had departed from us: the mother, the lover, and the goddess, or some shit like that. It was from a poem he wrote and read at her funeral; I wasn't really listening.

So anyway, three years later, he emails me this morning to RSVP for our family Christmas gathering, and lets me know that he hopes to be bringing a guest, some hippie 60-year-old that he thinks he is wooing. Sure, whatever. But then he tells me that it has occurred to him that the candle holder was not really a suitable present for my daughter, and that he would like to buy it back from me for $40 (twice what he paid for it, so a great deal for me!) and replace it with something better for "the child," whatever I might choose.

1.) I am certain that he didn't give it to my daughter, because if he had, he would have also given one to my son, and I would have had three of these stupid things floating around the house instead of just one. As it is, I actually have zero, because I gave mine to Goodwill shortly after receiving it.

2.) The reason he wants to buy it back from me is because he plans to give it to the woman he is quasi-dating, and was dismayed to learn that the store he bought them from no longer carries them.

I am glad he shared item number 2 with me, because aside from the humor value, it gives me a chance to explain to him that his new girlfriend certainly does not want a poignant symbol of his late wife, which will hopefully deflect from the fact that I tossed it years ago.

glatt · 12-19-2013, 08:42 AM

Oops.

Griff · 12-19-2013, 08:00 PM

Ha!

lumberjim · 12-20-2013, 08:24 AM

So, this old dude was married to your gram, but she has passed. But he still involves himself in your family? She never had any kids with him did she? So there is no real tie, neither blood nor marriage. I guess you must be all he has left. Otherwise, I'd think that he would return to his clan for family gatherings like holidays. Does some other member of your family like him and keep in contact?

I guess that's normal, but it seems odd to me for some reason. I don't know why. I guess it's pretty cool off y'all to include him. He must get pretty lonely.

lumberjim · 12-20-2013, 08:37 AM

I guess my mom's youngest sibling, her brother, is our most dysfunctional. I like him, but he's kind of nutty. He does civil war reenactments, has a beard that rivals the duck dynasty guys, and posts lots of weird nsfw stuff on his Facebook page. He'll go through phases of latex clad Japanese barely legals, then cool muscle cars, then bondage stuff, then some grateful dead stuff, then back to naughty bits....

My 4 maternal aunts have all un friended him over that. I keep him on, because I think it's funny. He came to Christmas one time about 5 years ago in an attempt to reconcile, but he just exudes bitterness about being the black sheep.

He's a rebel. His profile picture is him giving the camera the finger. Reminds me of gravdgr a little....

He was an aspiring actor, and actually got a role on the pilot for Homicide, Life on the streets, way back when that show first came out. He was the very first perp. A biker. Only had two lines, but he nailed them. "A simple man comes home from work and wonders what's for dinner". I forget the other one.

Edit. He was not on the pilot. It was the second episode of season one. So, not the first perp.

But he's mentioned on the wiki. That's pretty cool

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost..._on_the_Street)

He played Ralph Fenwick

lumberjim · 12-20-2013, 08:54 AM

Apparently there is another actor with the same name, and IMDB has them mixed up. Oh well.

Clodfobble · 12-20-2013, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

So, this old dude was married to your gram, but she has passed. But he still involves himself in your family? She never had any kids with him did she? So there is no real tie, neither blood nor marriage. I guess you must be all he has left. Otherwise, I'd think that he would return to his clan for family gatherings like holidays. Does some other member of your family like him and keep in contact?

I guess that's normal, but it seems odd to me for some reason. I don't know why. I guess it's pretty cool off y'all to include him. He must get pretty lonely.

Yeah, but he was married to her ever since my mom was a teenager, so he's been around quite awhile. My grandma was married to him more than twice as long as she was married to my mom's actual dad... By all rights I should have called him "grandpa," since he was just as present in my life as she was, but everyone else in the family kept him at arm's length and called him by his first name, so my brother and I did too.

Anyway, you're right, he has no one. After my grandma died, he had to put a new benefactor on his life insurance policy, and he told my mom that he was "pretty sure" he had a cousin who was still alive, but couldn't find him after a few months of trying so he just put my kids on there instead (not that it's any significant amount of money, just enough to bury him really, but it was a nice gesture.)

No one in the family likes him, but I guess we all feel it would be too mean to just cut him out. Actually, not all of us--he and one uncle had a big fight about something a few months ago, and he was not invited to Thanksgiving this year at this same uncle's house. Can't for the life of me figure out what the fight could have been about, or why they would even have the opportunity for a conversation, but there it is.

*shrug* I still invited him to Christmas at my house. He's not in great health, so personally I figure he'll just die in a few more years and solve the dilemma for everyone.

monster · 12-20-2013, 06:28 PM

bzzzzzt! is the answer all my relatives?

12-28-2010, 02:52 AM	#32
jujuwwhite Capnhowdy's #1 smasher Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rentz, GA Posts: 339	I know that feeling! That's why I stopped going to the family reunions that way if I wasn't there they could all talk openly without having to hide around the corner when I entered the room. HEHEHE __________________ I don't suffer from insanity...i enjoy every moment of it.

12-29-2010, 09:56 AM	#33
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	My mother is starting to understand my long held position that being related means jackshit. If they are not friends, fuck 'em. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

12-29-2010, 11:12 AM	#34
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Given it's now the 29th and Mum hasn't spoken to me (directly or even indirectly) since Christmas Day, I am putting her forward instead of my sister. Luckily, Dad is talking to me again, so maybe I got more genes from his side of the family or something. I mean, I know I'm a nutter if you scratch the surface, but she really is making this into a saga now. Oh, and if you wonder why I'm not addressing this, it's because I am actually terrified of her when she's in this incarnation. She's never threatened me with physical violence - as she has Dad - but I think that's because she knows that will rouse my own temper and I'd probably challenge her to do it (and perhaps even smack her back). But she can reduce me to tears with a well-considered line. And she's had plenty of time - 38 years - to think one up. Riding it out, riding it out... BTW I have an appalling temper, hence the claim that I might wallop Mum one if she hit me. I'm not proud of it, just realistic. Which is one of my reasons for backing down, and in this case, hiding. Last time I lost my temper was the whole hoo-ha about me making faces over dinner because Mum was coughing. She stormed out then as well, but as it wasn't icy outside she was actually able to leave the house. I decided never to eat with them again at that point (somethign I have mostly stuck to). I feel it was my facial expressions and inability to eat given Mum's sniping at Dad that are behind this display. Still. FOUR DAYS. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-29-2010, 03:36 PM	#36
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	Could be worse , Attached Images __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

12-29-2010, 04:33 PM	#37
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I think all of you should just bow out of this contest gracefully. We have a winner: Curtis Bowen© __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

12-27-2010, 06:28 PM	#31
be-bop Operations Operative Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: scotland/uk Posts: 664	Reading some of the stories fairly cheers me up, not because of the hassle or the hurt caused to others but because I thought it was only my crew that had the problems. Seems like every family has them, the odd Uncle,batty mother,sister ,brother

12-19-2013, 08:27 AM	#38
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	It's the holiday season, and the yellow beret fanatic described in the first post of this thread is at it again! The first Christmas after my grandmother died, her Pagan poet husband gave us all the same thing: a bronze-ish candle stand, about a foot tall, stylized to appear as if three abstract female figures were holding up the main plate for the candle. This was supposed to represent "the three Marys" who had departed from us: the mother, the lover, and the goddess, or some shit like that. It was from a poem he wrote and read at her funeral; I wasn't really listening. So anyway, three years later, he emails me this morning to RSVP for our family Christmas gathering, and lets me know that he hopes to be bringing a guest, some hippie 60-year-old that he thinks he is wooing. Sure, whatever. But then he tells me that it has occurred to him that the candle holder was not really a suitable present for my daughter, and that he would like to buy it back from me for $40 (twice what he paid for it, so a great deal for me!) and replace it with something better for "the child," whatever I might choose. 1.) I am certain that he didn't give it to my daughter, because if he had, he would have also given one to my son, and I would have had three of these stupid things floating around the house instead of just one. As it is, I actually have zero, because I gave mine to Goodwill shortly after receiving it. 2.) The reason he wants to buy it back from me is because he plans to give it to the woman he is quasi-dating, and was dismayed to learn that the store he bought them from no longer carries them. I am glad he shared item number 2 with me, because aside from the humor value, it gives me a chance to explain to him that his new girlfriend certainly does not want a poignant symbol of his late wife, which will hopefully deflect from the fact that I tossed it years ago. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

12-19-2013, 08:42 AM	#39
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Oops.

12-19-2013, 08:00 PM	#40
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Ha! __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-20-2013, 08:24 AM	#41
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	So, this old dude was married to your gram, but she has passed. But he still involves himself in your family? She never had any kids with him did she? So there is no real tie, neither blood nor marriage. I guess you must be all he has left. Otherwise, I'd think that he would return to his clan for family gatherings like holidays. Does some other member of your family like him and keep in contact? I guess that's normal, but it seems odd to me for some reason. I don't know why. I guess it's pretty cool off y'all to include him. He must get pretty lonely. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-20-2013, 08:37 AM	#42
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I guess my mom's youngest sibling, her brother, is our most dysfunctional. I like him, but he's kind of nutty. He does civil war reenactments, has a beard that rivals the duck dynasty guys, and posts lots of weird nsfw stuff on his Facebook page. He'll go through phases of latex clad Japanese barely legals, then cool muscle cars, then bondage stuff, then some grateful dead stuff, then back to naughty bits.... My 4 maternal aunts have all un friended him over that. I keep him on, because I think it's funny. He came to Christmas one time about 5 years ago in an attempt to reconcile, but he just exudes bitterness about being the black sheep. He's a rebel. His profile picture is him giving the camera the finger. Reminds me of gravdgr a little.... He was an aspiring actor, and actually got a role on the pilot for Homicide, Life on the streets, way back when that show first came out. He was the very first perp. A biker. Only had two lines, but he nailed them. "A simple man comes home from work and wonders what's for dinner". I forget the other one. Edit. He was not on the pilot. It was the second episode of season one. So, not the first perp. But he's mentioned on the wiki. That's pretty cool http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost..._on_the_Street) He played Ralph Fenwick __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 12-20-2013 at 08:47 AM.

12-20-2013, 08:54 AM	#43
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Apparently there is another actor with the same name, and IMDB has them mixed up. Oh well. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-20-2013, 06:28 PM	#45
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	bzzzzzt! is the answer all my relatives? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

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