Arguments: men vs. women

[Riddil]

Nono, I agree that those things are insults... when said to a woman. But to a man he didn't mean anything by it at all. He doesn't think that his girl *is* trashy. Odds are he honestly doesn't think that she even looks trashy. So why did he say it?

Men don't like talking about their feelings. Hell, most of the time guys don't even think about their feelings. He felt a pang of jealousy at the thought of other men looking at her, and so he disapproved of the pants. And then he tried to formulate a way to get her to change britches. He saw the "trashy" comment as an innocent way to get her to change. (even though to her it's an insult)

Buuut, when he said it, the woman wants to know WHY. So she attacks back. The guy senses he's in trouble, so he just starts pulling for threads to get him out of trouble... "uh... stomache pokes out". He said it because it's TRUE. But to a woman she doesn't care if it's true or not, she probably knows it too, she just doesn't want you to tell her about it. And now an argument ensues.

If the guy would have just stepped back and asked himself, "Why do I want her to change those pants?", and then tell her that, the whole mess could have been avoided.

If the answer to that quesion is, "B/c it makes me jealous", then say that. If the answer really is only, "B/c you look trashy", then say that.

It's all about being able to state the real problem, and not just toss out a quick-fix comment.