Confession Time

[infinite monkey]

[emilylittella]OK, sorry. Nevermind [/emilylittella]

Imma shut up now. I've said more than enough, as usual.

eta: I'm sorry everyone. I don't help matters.

[Lamplighter]

My wife's Mom used to put the kids to bed, and say:
"I don't want to hear another peep out of you tonight"

This round (about lists and who made them and who's on it) goes to BD.
She really poked you kids.







PEEP

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

personally, I don't think shes a drama queen. I think shes standing up to a crowd. Not an enviable position to be in.

I'm really sorry this has gotten so out of hand, brill.

I agree with this.

It must be quite disconcerting to join a group and have them keep suggesting you're someone from the past pretending to be someone new.

Each of the people who've made such comments probably feels that it was no biggie. Just a single comment, just a single question. But with quite a few people doing it intermittently, from the perspective of Brill, who sees all of those comments as a whole, it must seem like a wall of suspicion.

I also thought she was someone else. I thought she was Bri. because Bri had posted about changing her name, and then BD arrived with her 'Brilliant Disguise'...etc.

Some of the responses to Brill have been less than stellar. At one point a poster actually asked if the lass had been shown the way to the tip jar. Sorry, but I'd feel shit if someone said something like that about me on a new forum.

Much of what's been said has been intended as humour. Unfortunately humour doesn't always click online, and if the person at the centre of it is new then they may not get some of the running gags, or continuing stories.

Though actually a fair few people have been friendly, warm and welcoming, it doesn't take many off-kilter comments to make that friendly stuff fade into the background. Just so much more potent that way.





@ BrilliantDisguise: in answer to your earlier post. Yes, we have had several people coming back in disguise. Usually, these are people who have initially joined specifically for the purposes of trolling/gaming the community. Pensive Pam and Emma both come under that category. Every so often one of them returns in a new guise. Spends a few days getting settled in then starts causing shit with everyone. Y'know, starting fights, using private messages to stir up trouble, attempting to play established members off against each other, that kind of thing.

Very occasionally someone will join, settle in, get to know us and post for awhile and then get 'driven off' by some argument, disagreement or personality clash with an individual dwellar or a particular contingent of dwellars. Often this begins as discussions on politics that go too far. Jill falls into that category. So did Lamplighter but (thankfully) he returned.

Mostly though, the newcomers who arrive here and then claim they've been harshly treated turn out to be the aforementioned trolls. It's happened enough times now that even I am suspicious with newcomers, and I am really not suspicious by nature. I make a conscious effort not to let that slight cynicism affect how I interact with newcomers.

You have wandered into the cellar not so very long after a bout of troublemakers fucking about with the community. Why they do this, i don't know. I know it is a 'thing' though, because we're usually not the only site they've done it with. There have been several occasions where the tone of the trolling has suggested that we may be dealing with something more worrying. On those occasions a little research has turned up the same posters on multiple forums, often leaving a trail of bans and suspensions, and in at least two cases the posters have had genuine mental illness or distress. (PP and SE)

We have been here for a very long time. You cannot exist as long as we have without occasionally becoming a target for something. You cannot be a target as often as we have been (for both individual and group shennanigans) without taking on a degree of skepticism.

Some of what you've said and done during your short time here has rung bells with a few people. That's all.


If you actually look at the way people have responded to you, you'll find it's a mixed bag. Well, we're a mixed bunch. There are people here with whom I can barely keep a civil tongue (finger?). There are others to whom I'll happily pour out my inner thoughts.

I'd really like it if you stayed. I think you fit in really well. Which is to say you draw just as much positive attention and just as much animosity as the next poster. That's to be expected with a group as mixed as we are.

[jimhelm]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

jim, you don't have to apologize to me. You owe me nothing. Except the friendship and respect that you have spoken of. If it's not there, don't speak of it.

I don't understand it, but I don't love you any less.

Of course, as paranoid as I am, I have all kinds of ideas that hurt about what "list" or lists I was on, but it doesn't really matter. You were working on a goal that I can't fathom. It's not really about any of us on that list (which might even be worse than actually being on a list: not even mattering which list you were on, it only mattered to the person hell bent on destruction and division, thinking she had a secret, that she knows more...though we don't know her "trials and tribulations", her quote, she thinks she knows ours, and "us") it's about something that is not my business: your private life.

But she made it public, and made a lot of people feel badly in the process. What does that tell you?

The timing of this is relevant, I think. I wrote that list as a tongue in cheek reassurance that she was doing fine fitting in. Prior to this situation/debacle .... And this has snowballed so quickly.... She's really a very normal and 'similar to us' kind of a person to talk to. Seems to me, she got mad, said something about it, and decided to leave. Now, we all know how hard it is to leave this particular forum .... AND, if you're in the limelight/crosshairs It's clearly much more difficult. Can we just ease up a bit on the name calling and judgement... On both sides of this.... And let her start over if she wants to? Brill, this is a great family, and worth the effort it takes to find your place in it. My word on that.

[DanaC]

Well said, Jim.

[jimhelm]

Great post Dana.

BigV, put that one in your hall of fame.

[jimhelm]

Oh, lol,.....I swear I was writing my post before I saw yours Dana....


But if someone says 'get a room' ....i'm buying!

[Nirvana]

I thought brill was fitting in fine but I don't agree that anyone's comments to or about her should have received the amount of venom she included. No one knows anyone on the internet. These are not people here she knows or should care about enough to say fuck you to... JMO

[DanaC]

I think Jim covered that with the 'standing up to a crowd' comment.

No one response was bad enough to warrant venom. But taken as a package I can see how Brill mayhave felt very much under attack. Clearly her response to being attacked is to give back more than she was hit with. Fair enough.


[eta] Trouble is. We are each seeing our individual responses and Brill's individual responses to us. From her perspective we're a group. We're a mass of not-yet-knowns.

[infinite monkey]

And once again, it's the big meanie weanies faults. So "she got mad" but that's OK.

No one else is to get mad back and respond?

How's this: one of your meanie weanies has had enough of finger pointing and the pretense of 'so fair and caring' which is actually meanness personified, not to mention how it belies the talk of friendship and love.

How's this?: I cry EVERY SINGLE DAY. And yet, I come to the Cellar for laughs, and whatever it is I'm going through comes through, because some of you so called FAIR people can be anything but fair, so I respond...but I'm a big meanie weanie because I call something as I see it?

I remember finding out how a certain beloved dwellar has some mental issues. AFTER the fact, I heard: well gee, I wish I'd been nicer.

So WHERE do you get who is to be treated with kid gloves and who gets to be pointed out as a meanie weanie by the saints.

I come to the cellar because I'm lonely. I'm leaving because my 'friends' here make me feel more alone and isolated than my actual life.

There, how's that? Perfect for you, i"M sure. YOu can be rid of me AND tell me to quit being a martyr.

I'm so tired of trying to fit in, myself. Maybe BD or LR, whoever it is, had the right idea.

They both accomplished the same goal.

Meek and innocent and downtrodden my ass.

[Nirvana]

I don't feel as if I was part of the group of "thought of attackers" My comments were totally benign. If it makes her feel better I will say " stay, you will be assimilated,"

[DanaC]

Read my post again Infi. I never said anyone was a meanie.

But hey. Way to personalise the fuck out of everything.

[infinite monkey]

Oh, you're far too kind. Fucking PERSONALIZE? WTF do you think your goddam BD was doing? Fuck that!

Thanks Dana. Thanks so fucking much.

[DanaC]

Right. That's it. I am done with the histrionics.

You are impossible to interact with Infi.

[Nirvana]

I don't want you to feel like you have to fit in IM you are perfect as you are

It makes my day to read your posts...