OMG LEGO MAKES YOU GAY!

[ZenGum]

Where to put this? Politics? Health? Relationships? Parenting? Meh, here'll do.


Whet your appetite:




Wait, what?

Read the whole story, damn near every sentence is insanely hilarious. Some favourites:

The basic block was designed to mimic the human form. Four rows of two dots: the top represent eyes, the middle breasts, below is either the male testicles or the female ovaries, and at bottom are the Dane’s bare feet. Yes, the toy is shocking in its graphic sexual nature, but the Danish people loved them.

For American tourists, it is a very odd place and many prefer to visit the far more fascinating cultures of France and Italy. Nearby, the nation of Sweden offers superior outdoor activities such as skiing and hiking, while the Germans to the south are known as a more hospitable, gentler people who welcome the wisdom and joyfulness of citizens from the United States.

As the Lego reached its height of popularity in the late 1970s, children learned that they could attach these plastic people together any way they wanted. The feminine-colored ones fit into the masculine-colored ones, of course, but you could also snap two or even five men together quite easily and that was thrilling in a secret, homoerotic way. The same was true of the female part and the sad result was a generation of severe, moody Danish lesbians. Because of the dependence on the backside (the empty space) of the Lego, children were taught that bodies could connect through human backsides. In other words, the Lego introduced children to the idea of anal sodomy and made it seem like a pleasant, Danish game.

Spoiler alert:
Yeah, I know, Christwire is a satire. Shoosh, let's enjoy the laugh..

[Aliantha]

I knew it!

[Griff]

Ha!

[GunMaster357]

Wow ! Someone did fall off his rocker.



And what's more funny, at least from my point of view, is that any radical islamist could use the same kind of rethoric.

[sexobon]

White Lego (to the tune of White Rabbit)

Black Legos make you lesbian
And white Legos make you gay
And the primary colors they give you
Make you bisexual all day
Go ask ZenGum, when he's at play

And if you go joining Legos
And you know you're going to change
Tell 'em a transgender inducing gray one
Has given you the OK
To call ZenGum, when he was just laid

When the users of the forums log in
And tell you where to go
And you've just read this sort of shocker
And your mind's about to blow
Go ask ZenGum, I think he'll know

When logic and proportion have fallen into dirt
And there's white lettering at the bottom
And the red attachment's not suitable for work
Remember what the OP said
"Spoiler alert:", "Spoiler alert:"

[infinite monkey]

sexobon, you're like the Cellar Weird Al Yankovich, though on a loftier, craftier level.

[Spexxvet]

You have to admit: Legos are HAWT!

[Getgo]

Nowadays everything makes a person gay.

[wolf]

What you make out of LEGO makes you gay.

Everybody knows that.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by wolf

What you make out of LEGO makes you gay.

Everybody knows that.

way to blame the victim

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

You have to admit: Legos are HAWT!

Queer!

[Gravdigr]

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by sexobon

White Lego (to the tune of White Rabbit)

Black Legos make you lesbian
And white Legos make you gay
And the primary colors they give you
Make you bisexual all day
Go ask ZenGum, when he's at play

And if you go joining Legos
And you know you're going to change
Tell 'em a transgender inducing gray one
Has given you the OK
To call ZenGum, when he was just laid

When the users of the forums log in
And tell you where to go
And you've just read this sort of shocker
And your mind's about to blow
Go ask ZenGum, I think he'll know

When logic and proportion have fallen into dirt
And there's white lettering at the bottom
And the red attachment's not suitable for work
Remember what the OP said
"Spoiler alert:", "Spoiler alert:"

ƒucking brilliant!