Down here at the pawn shop - Page 37

infinite monkey · 02-25-2013, 10:19 AM

I speak jive:

orphia: of or having to do with dead parents

las: lost

er: her

trell: trail

So: Orphia lost her trail, which symbolizes the love her adoptive parents have for her, having put her on a new trell, I mean trail, in life.

Sundae · 02-25-2013, 10:23 AM

I would suggest Orf-EE-ah-LAZE-er-trell.
But that's just a wild stab in the dark. Which is similar to what her mother gave her by landing her with a name like that.

The black children at my school with African names actually have African parents. And I don't mean their parents moved to this country 250 years ago. The mothers are proper African mothers - hot on education, hard slapping and attend church for a couple of hours or more every Sunday.

You gotta love immigrants, the majority are bloody tough. The real problems come when cultures collide and especially when the people come from dangerous places - warzones and oppression as opposed to Australia. Different rules of behaviour apply when you live like that, and it's hard to leave them behind.

Never mind. I have great faith in the civilising influence of England.
We'll have them sipping tea and inviting the Vicar round for sherry within a few generations.

Chocolatl · 02-25-2013, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

The black children at my school with African names actually have African parents.

Most of these names have no trace of Africa in them, but are instead challenges of how many syllables can be thrown together.

Some former students:
Myson (cuz he was, you know, her son)
Shakeitha
G-money
D'Errica
Kyshaun

I'm forgetting most of the good ones now that I've been out of the classroom a while...

Trilby · 02-25-2013, 11:08 AM

there's a poem by a Jamaican woman living in England who is bewildered by all the meals/rituals English people live by. I can't get my paste/copy to work but it's called What Fee Call I' by Valerie Bloom. It's really witty. Google it if you're interested.

It's written in pidgen.

wow. This is way, waaaaaay off topic.

I hope you don't get stabbed in the dark like OpheliaMonsterName did, Toad. Who'd watch the cellar then?

eta: IMHO people who give their children names like that aren't doing the kid any favors unless said kid is unbelievably beautiful when he/she grows up.

Pete Zicato · 02-25-2013, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Phoenetically, please?

Would that be the Phoenician phonetic?

jimhelm · 02-25-2013, 01:08 PM

well, didn't the Phoenicians invent the alphabet?

footfootfoot · 02-25-2013, 01:34 PM

Phoenicialee Phoenicialah

xoxoxoBruce · 02-25-2013, 07:29 PM

Le-a
Pronounced, Lee dash ah.

BigV · 02-26-2013, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

That's one of the reasons I left the city. I like that peple can leave their stuff out around here.

I think I already posted about one time my BIL came to visit and saw a huge pile of carpenters tools on the grass near the curb in front of my neighbor's house. He asked me what was up with the tools. I told him someone borrowed my neighbors truck and took the tools out.

At lunch, they were still there and my BIL was surprised. At dusk they were still there and he couldn't have been more amazed.

The only thing that was stolen from my yard in 12 years was a raccoon trap. WTF?

Have you seen a raccoon? They look like banditos with that little mask. And those little hands? I think we all know who took your trap. Means, motive, and mask. Guilty!

footfootfoot · 02-26-2013, 04:04 PM

Not too many raccoons around here, actually. Woodchucks, skunks, and possums. I think it may have been a rainbow coalition of them.

ZenGum · 02-26-2013, 06:12 PM

The woodchucks have been warned...

Undertoad · 02-26-2013, 07:03 PM

As PTSD sets in, the beginning of the day becomes no fun. I wonder what shit will be thrown at me next.

This time it starts with the first phone call of the day. A woman asks if we take leather. I say no, that's not something the pawn shop deals with. She says, slowly and deliberately, sarcastically, in her bitchiest of old croney voices, "That's - not - what - your - advertisement - says !"

I say sorry, and hang up.

Except for the website, the shop does not do advertising of any kind.

~

At the end of the day a guy comes in with a tablet. What you need to know: the low-end market has been flooded with cheap 7" Android tablets. They suuuuck. The touchscreens are shitty, the plastic cases are flimsy, the displays are horrible. We call them "Shenzhen specials" -- because that's where they're all made, then sold at shitty dollar stores for low prices and people get suckered into buying them.

This guy has one of those, and we notice that this model has sold for under $50 on eBay. We have to wait 90 days to sell it, so we are probably not going to even get that. It's a risk. So we might buy it for $10, but not a dollar more, and it would be the least interesting deal of the day.

This reluctant offer freezes the guy. He's in some weird position now where he really REALLY wants to sell it, but claims to have bought it at $150 days earlier, and is trying to piece together how his situation has come to this. Is the pawn shop trying to rip him off? I try to explain how the risk comes into it for us, but it seems beyond his level of intelligence. Did he get ripped off when he bought it? Partly yes, and maybe he bought it on the street or from a person rather than a store.

"Can't I get 20 for it?" "It's not worth that to us." "Aw man can't I just get 15?" "Look, if I thought I could turn around and sell this for 50 I would be an idiot not to offer you 15. But I'm not offering you 15. That should tell you something about what it's worth."

We continue this retard dance of questions, befuddled reasoning, and "It is what it is" that goes on for 30 minutes. I do not exaggerate. It involves mostly me, but also Alan, who figures he should tag team me for a while so I get some relief. I should say that the guy made a five minute phone call to a friend, in the middle of this, trying vainly to understand it all and figure out what to do.

By the end of it, the guy seems to believe us when we say we are not in the business of ripping him off. But he still can't understand it all and doesn't know what to do. He morosely leaves the shop with his shit tablet, and we all high five that the guy has finally left us. We speculate on maybe just never buying in any Shenzhens if the people just don't understand that they are worth nothing.

But fifteen minutes later, and ten minutes before closing, THE GUY COMES BACK IN... and starts annoying us further with retard logic. Finally I point out that we are closing and what does he want to do? He wants to sell it. And we buy it. Ten bucks, deal done.

xoxoxoBruce · 02-27-2013, 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

This time it starts with the first phone call of the day. A woman asks if we take leather. I say no, that's not something the pawn shop deals with. She says, slowly and deliberately, sarcastically, in her bitchiest of old croney voices, "That's - not - what - your - advertisement - says !"

Just tell her to bring the ad with her.

Trilby · 02-27-2013, 06:00 AM

when you're drunk or on crack or what have you it's hard to read the adverts.

Undertoad · 02-28-2013, 02:59 PM

This joke has never failed to crack somebody up.

Customer: I wanna get one of those adult movies.
Alan's brother Dan: No problem... right-handed or left-handed?

~

This happened just now:

Woman: Do you carry engagement rings for men?
Sammy: Where would those be worn... on the finger?

02-25-2013, 10:23 AM	#542
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I would suggest Orf-EE-ah-LAZE-er-trell. But that's just a wild stab in the dark. Which is similar to what her mother gave her by landing her with a name like that. The black children at my school with African names actually have African parents. And I don't mean their parents moved to this country 250 years ago. The mothers are proper African mothers - hot on education, hard slapping and attend church for a couple of hours or more every Sunday. You gotta love immigrants, the majority are bloody tough. The real problems come when cultures collide and especially when the people come from dangerous places - warzones and oppression as opposed to Australia. Different rules of behaviour apply when you live like that, and it's hard to leave them behind. Never mind. I have great faith in the civilising influence of England. We'll have them sipping tea and inviting the Vicar round for sherry within a few generations. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

02-25-2013, 11:08 AM	#544
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	there's a poem by a Jamaican woman living in England who is bewildered by all the meals/rituals English people live by. I can't get my paste/copy to work but it's called What Fee Call I' by Valerie Bloom. It's really witty. Google it if you're interested. It's written in pidgen. wow. This is way, waaaaaay off topic. I hope you don't get stabbed in the dark like OpheliaMonsterName did, Toad. Who'd watch the cellar then? eta: IMHO people who give their children names like that aren't doing the kid any favors unless said kid is unbelievably beautiful when he/she grows up. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-25-2013, 01:08 PM	#546
jimhelm a beautiful fool Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: 39.939705 Posts: 4,504	well, didn't the Phoenicians invent the alphabet? __________________ There's a Shadow just behind me. Shrouding every step I take. Making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. _tool

02-25-2013, 01:34 PM	#547
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Phoenicialee Phoenicialah __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-25-2013, 07:29 PM	#548
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Le-a Pronounced, Lee dash ah. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-25-2013, 10:19 AM	#541
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I speak jive: orphia: of or having to do with dead parents las: lost er: her trell: trail So: Orphia lost her trail, which symbolizes the love her adoptive parents have for her, having put her on a new trell, I mean trail, in life.

02-26-2013, 04:04 PM	#550
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Not too many raccoons around here, actually. Woodchucks, skunks, and possums. I think it may have been a rainbow coalition of them. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

02-26-2013, 06:12 PM	#551
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	The woodchucks have been warned... __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

02-26-2013, 07:03 PM	#552
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	As PTSD sets in, the beginning of the day becomes no fun. I wonder what shit will be thrown at me next. This time it starts with the first phone call of the day. A woman asks if we take leather. I say no, that's not something the pawn shop deals with. She says, slowly and deliberately, sarcastically, in her bitchiest of old croney voices, "That's - not - what - your - advertisement - says !" I say sorry, and hang up. Except for the website, the shop does not do advertising of any kind. ~ At the end of the day a guy comes in with a tablet. What you need to know: the low-end market has been flooded with cheap 7" Android tablets. They suuuuck. The touchscreens are shitty, the plastic cases are flimsy, the displays are horrible. We call them "Shenzhen specials" -- because that's where they're all made, then sold at shitty dollar stores for low prices and people get suckered into buying them. This guy has one of those, and we notice that this model has sold for under $50 on eBay. We have to wait 90 days to sell it, so we are probably not going to even get that. It's a risk. So we might buy it for $10, but not a dollar more, and it would be the least interesting deal of the day. This reluctant offer freezes the guy. He's in some weird position now where he really REALLY wants to sell it, but claims to have bought it at $150 days earlier, and is trying to piece together how his situation has come to this. Is the pawn shop trying to rip him off? I try to explain how the risk comes into it for us, but it seems beyond his level of intelligence. Did he get ripped off when he bought it? Partly yes, and maybe he bought it on the street or from a person rather than a store. "Can't I get 20 for it?" "It's not worth that to us." "Aw man can't I just get 15?" "Look, if I thought I could turn around and sell this for 50 I would be an idiot not to offer you 15. But I'm not offering you 15. That should tell you something about what it's worth." We continue this retard dance of questions, befuddled reasoning, and "It is what it is" that goes on for 30 minutes. I do not exaggerate. It involves mostly me, but also Alan, who figures he should tag team me for a while so I get some relief. I should say that the guy made a five minute phone call to a friend, in the middle of this, trying vainly to understand it all and figure out what to do. By the end of it, the guy seems to believe us when we say we are not in the business of ripping him off. But he still can't understand it all and doesn't know what to do. He morosely leaves the shop with his shit tablet, and we all high five that the guy has finally left us. We speculate on maybe just never buying in any Shenzhens if the people just don't understand that they are worth nothing. But fifteen minutes later, and ten minutes before closing, THE GUY COMES BACK IN... and starts annoying us further with retard logic. Finally I point out that we are closing and what does he want to do? He wants to sell it. And we buy it. Ten bucks, deal done.

02-27-2013, 06:00 AM	#554
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	when you're drunk or on crack or what have you it's hard to read the adverts. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-28-2013, 02:59 PM	#555
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	This joke has never failed to crack somebody up. Customer: I wanna get one of those adult movies. Alan's brother Dan: No problem... right-handed or left-handed? ~ This happened just now: Woman: Do you carry engagement rings for men? Sammy: Where would those be worn... on the finger?

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