My Family

[Sundae]

Foodities!

Pub food this time, not gourmet, although I hope it reflects how far England has advanced since a lukewarm meat pie and wooden chips were all that were on offer.

I offered my parents Easter Lunch, to thank them for taking care of the Diz-cat while I was on Arran.
I also had a voucher (which they knew about, so it doesn't count as sneaky.)

Mum declined, but suggested we could go down the pub for snacks and maybe a drink.
She meant definitely a drink, but drinking with the 'rents was never a problem with me.
Drinking high-alcohol rotgut in my room is the problem.

So we went there Saturday eve, after watching the boat-race, and a good time was had by all.

'Rents had an Ultimate Sharer For Two

Breaded torpedo prawns, onion rings, garlic ciabatta, jacket potato wedges, chicken wings, garlic breaded mushrooms and nachos topped with cheese and salsa served with BBQ, sour cream and chipotle dips.

Sounds like a tableful of food, but as you can see it is really intended as a starter, especially between three adults of healthy appetites.

I had the Spicy Snack Selection. Much cheaper and qualified me for a free drink.
Which Mum had, actually.

Onion bhaji, samosa, pakora and a spring roll with yoghurt and mint dip (raita).

Which Mum had most of, actually

Limey and Dani, I promise I am still eating.
Just not all that much deep-fried food at once.

[Sundae]

I did have a beer, but it was going down with hooks on.
Mum & Dad had finished theirs and were ready to go.
I gave Mum my purse.
Mum said, "I don't need to take this, you're an adult."
No, I did need her to take it, because after she left I would have been happy to start on spirits and drink up all of Diz's food money for the month.

Anyway.

Standard pic of us in the pub.
They do go other places too. Just more often without me.

And me, me, me, because I liked my lipgloss.

[Sundae]

Unsure where else to put this. Decided to give you an update without starting a new thread.

Currently abstinent.
Doing well on the count of days, less well on physical symptoms and cravings.
Can't sleep. I mean I'm getting approx 3 hours a night. Get night terrors when I do drift off.
My eyes are shot. Pissholes in the snow.
I always seem to fare worst when I give up completely.
Gastectomy on 22nd. Mum is coming with me. She has to, or they won't release me but she offered first and I appreciate that.

Massive appetite, especially for sweet things. Am trying to counter it with apples and mandarins. The only good thing that's come out of this is weight loss and I never want to go back to the weight I was. But I am exercising every day and no calories from drink after all.

Tried on a pair of Tesco size 16 (UK) jeans today and they fitted! Couldn't justify the cost though, even though they were only £10. My size 18 are still decent and I have other clothes to wear.

Went to a Friends' Meeting on Sunday. I'll be back next Sunday. Something about the Quakers speaks even to this hardened atheist. Peace, stillness and the only requirement is to listen and wait for the small, still voice and appreciate you are part of collective worship. It might not work out, but it's trying something different. In public. Way will open.

Mum and I are going to a see if we can join an amateur chorus for a performance of HMS Pinafore tomorrow night. No audition, just a commitment to rehearse and perform. I'll feed back - if we hate it we won't go again, but we both love singing and enjoy Gilbert & Sullivan. The evenings are getting lighter too, which makes going out much easier.

Had some horrible family news. Can't go into it , but it involves rellies I've barely written about here who do not live in Aylesbury. And alcohol. Made me feel physically sick. I keep dreaming about them if and when I do sleep. Carrying it round with me the whole time.

But apart from that and knowing I am going to be released from my contract at work and being scared about finances... I am in a better position than I was about 3 weeks ago.

I've stopped drinking.
That helps.

[glatt]

Good job Sundae!
I know it's hard. Keep it up.

[DanaC]

Well done hon. You're doing great.

[Pete Zicato]

You're fighting the good fight, Sundae. Keep sluggin'.

[Aliantha]

You just keep on keeping on Sundae. Sometimes things just seem so hard, but little bit by little bit will get you there...where ever there is. I love you mate. You can do it. xxx

[limey]

Sundae! Well done you!! I've been thinking and thinking of you x. Keep it up, as Ali says. You can do this - I am sure you can.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Yes you can.

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Gastectomy on 22nd.

Did I miss a previous mention of this? It sounds pretty significant. Is it for weight-loss purposes like a lap-band procedure, or to treat some kind of malady?

[orthodoc]

Keep fighting, Sundae!

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Did I miss a previous mention of this? It sounds pretty significant. Is it for weight-loss purposes like a lap-band procedure, or to treat some kind of malady?

No, it's me being an idiot and typing the wrong thing
I'm having a gastroscopy. Utterly different. I'm sure you have experience of these.

I'm mildly chuffed because I have to be off my GORD (GERD) medicine for two weeks prior to the investigation. It's been three days so far and I haven't had any heartburn. I'm putting that down to healthy eating, weight loss and abstinence. I have Rennies on stand-by just in case.

Haven't heard yet about my trans-jugular biopsy. Just the name terrifies me, but it's far less invasive than the gastroscopy.

Gastroscopy. Just practicing it so I don't tell anyone else I am having part of my stomach removed...

Thanks everyone.
If the Quaker meeting was a still green pool for reflection, this place is a waterfall that drowns out my sorrows and forces me to become part of life again.
Because I think I have decided to live after all.

[limey]

Oh good. I do so want you to live, dear Sundae!

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Sundae

No, it's me being an idiot and typing the wrong thing
I'm having a gastroscopy. Utterly different. I'm sure you have experience of these.

Ha! Having one this morning, I think. They may only be going up the other end, though, I'm not certain.

Glad to hear it's not what I thought it was.

[Sundae]

Got a letter today about my biopsy.
It can only be done at Addenbrookes. 48 miles away. Nothing if you have a car of course.

So that's a bus to Milton Keynes and another to Cambridge from there.

It's because I went to Luton & Dunstable Hospital for my initial appointment.
But if I'd waited for Stoke Mandeville (my local hospital, on the local bus route) I still wouldn't have had the first appointment. I think they offered 5th May as the first available date.

Lord alone knows where I'll find the money.
Mum wants to come with me, which I appreciate. But she's an OAP and has a bus pass. It's going to cost me (estimate) about £20 for the return trip.