My mom is gone

infinite monkey · 12-29-2013, 11:11 AM

I'm sorry, I don't know how else to make this announcement. As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer earlier this year. It was over 3 months ago that we felt it was time to bring in hospice (and for her to acquiesce to such...she was so strong and independent.)

Hospice expressed, in these last few weeks, that they hadn't seen a body hang on like hers did. While this afforded us more time with her, as that time went on we began to see the mercy in her body letting go.

I was fortunate that I wasn't working: I was able to be her transportation to daily radiation treatments, and chemo treatments. It's so hard to see some fucking asshole like cancer attack such a wonderful human being. We all know there is no rhyme or reason.

My dad is doing OK. He was the epitome of the phrase 'in sickness and in health.' It was so very hard on him too, but if inner strength were the first thing they saw in each other I wouldn't be surprised.

Thanks to those who knew what was going on and offered kind words. I couldn't come on here and say much. Sometimes I wanted to but with every word I typed I felt like I was discounting the incredible loss I would soon be dealing with.

My mom was funny and beautiful and smart and kind. She believed in the concept that 'it takes a village' and not just the village that raises the child, but the village that is there for each other in life's struggles. Her village was amazing: lifelong friends, new friends, extended family, us...and it is this village that will get me through this. I'm blessed to be her daughter, to be my dad's daughter, to be the result of all that came before and made them the parents they are.

I look around and all I see are things mom gave me: trinkets I'd like, books about my favorite things, even a little picture she printed off the internet of a long ago newly found photo of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller (personal heroes of mine.) No one else will know me like my mom did.

I thank you for listening to me. I will collect the warm thoughts, even the unsaid ones, and they will keep me aloft through the coming days.

I miss you mom.

DanaC · 12-29-2013, 11:22 AM

Oh honey. My deepest condolences. I'll be thinking of you.

Griff · 12-29-2013, 11:23 AM

My heartfelt condolences, it sounds like your Mom was a truly beautiful soul.

Sundae · 12-29-2013, 11:24 AM

Infi, all my love to you and your family.
Thank you for writing such a moving post.

BigV · 12-29-2013, 11:25 AM

Dear infinite monkey,

I am terribly sorry and saddened to hear your news. I wish there was something I could do to help. If well wishes and Internet hugs count and give you comfort, you have those in abundance. I wish healing and comfort and peace to you and your family. I'm so sorry im.

Undertoad · 12-29-2013, 11:27 AM

So sorry to hear of this IM. It is the saddest thing of all when good people leave this earth.

Clodfobble · 12-29-2013, 11:28 AM

That was such a lovely tribute, Infi. I'm sorry for your loss.

glatt · 12-29-2013, 11:57 AM

I'm really sorry. You are such a good daughter. She was fortunate to have you in her life, just as you were fortunate to have her in yours.

You'll get through this, and we're here when you need us.

limey · 12-29-2013, 11:57 AM

IM, I'm so sorry to read of your loss. You clearly had a close and loving relationship with your mum, and the love you had for each other will continue to give you strength in the years to come. You are in my thoughts. X

Sent by thought transference

footfootfoot · 12-29-2013, 12:13 PM

IM,
My thoughts are with you, you are a beautiful person and your mom took no small part in that.

I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through, I know it might not help but we are all here for you.

fargon · 12-29-2013, 12:15 PM

I'm sorry for your loss IM.

sexobon · 12-29-2013, 12:42 PM

You're a living testament to mom's funny and beautiful and smart and kind. We'll remember her through you.

orthodoc · 12-29-2013, 02:04 PM

IM, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing with us. Please count us as part of your village as well. xx

Lola Bunny · 12-29-2013, 02:07 PM

I'm so sorry for you loss and a big loss it is. I'm glad there's a village for you. We're also here for you.

infinite monkey · 12-29-2013, 03:47 PM

Thank you everyone. Minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day.

Your words meant so much to me.

12-29-2013, 11:11 AM	#1
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	My mom is gone I'm sorry, I don't know how else to make this announcement. As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer earlier this year. It was over 3 months ago that we felt it was time to bring in hospice (and for her to acquiesce to such...she was so strong and independent.) Hospice expressed, in these last few weeks, that they hadn't seen a body hang on like hers did. While this afforded us more time with her, as that time went on we began to see the mercy in her body letting go. I was fortunate that I wasn't working: I was able to be her transportation to daily radiation treatments, and chemo treatments. It's so hard to see some fucking asshole like cancer attack such a wonderful human being. We all know there is no rhyme or reason. My dad is doing OK. He was the epitome of the phrase 'in sickness and in health.' It was so very hard on him too, but if inner strength were the first thing they saw in each other I wouldn't be surprised. Thanks to those who knew what was going on and offered kind words. I couldn't come on here and say much. Sometimes I wanted to but with every word I typed I felt like I was discounting the incredible loss I would soon be dealing with. My mom was funny and beautiful and smart and kind. She believed in the concept that 'it takes a village' and not just the village that raises the child, but the village that is there for each other in life's struggles. Her village was amazing: lifelong friends, new friends, extended family, us...and it is this village that will get me through this. I'm blessed to be her daughter, to be my dad's daughter, to be the result of all that came before and made them the parents they are. I look around and all I see are things mom gave me: trinkets I'd like, books about my favorite things, even a little picture she printed off the internet of a long ago newly found photo of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller (personal heroes of mine.) No one else will know me like my mom did. I thank you for listening to me. I will collect the warm thoughts, even the unsaid ones, and they will keep me aloft through the coming days. I miss you mom.

12-29-2013, 11:23 AM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	My heartfelt condolences, it sounds like your Mom was a truly beautiful soul. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

12-29-2013, 11:24 AM	#4
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Infi, all my love to you and your family. Thank you for writing such a moving post. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

12-29-2013, 11:25 AM	#5
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Dear infinite monkey, I am terribly sorry and saddened to hear your news. I wish there was something I could do to help. If well wishes and Internet hugs count and give you comfort, you have those in abundance. I wish healing and comfort and peace to you and your family. I'm so sorry im. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

12-29-2013, 11:28 AM	#7
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	That was such a lovely tribute, Infi. I'm sorry for your loss. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

12-29-2013, 11:27 AM	#6
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	So sorry to hear of this IM. It is the saddest thing of all when good people leave this earth.

12-29-2013, 11:57 AM	#8
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	I'm really sorry. You are such a good daughter. She was fortunate to have you in her life, just as you were fortunate to have her in yours. You'll get through this, and we're here when you need us.

12-29-2013, 11:57 AM	#9
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	IM, I'm so sorry to read of your loss. You clearly had a close and loving relationship with your mum, and the love you had for each other will continue to give you strength in the years to come. You are in my thoughts. X Sent by thought transference __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

12-29-2013, 12:13 PM	#10
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	IM, My thoughts are with you, you are a beautiful person and your mom took no small part in that. I'm sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through, I know it might not help but we are all here for you. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

12-29-2013, 12:15 PM	#11
fargon Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: La Crosse, WI Posts: 8,924	I'm sorry for your loss IM. __________________ Annoy the ones that ignore you!!! I live a blessed life I Love my Country, I Fear the Government!!! Heavily medicated for the good of mankind.

12-29-2013, 12:42 PM	#12
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	You're a living testament to mom's funny and beautiful and smart and kind. We'll remember her through you.

12-29-2013, 02:04 PM	#13
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	IM, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful tribute. Thank you for sharing with us. Please count us as part of your village as well. xx __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

12-29-2013, 02:07 PM	#14
Lola Bunny Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 2,728	I'm so sorry for you loss and a big loss it is. I'm glad there's a village for you. We're also here for you.

12-29-2013, 03:47 PM	#15
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Thank you everyone. Minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day. Your words meant so much to me.

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