what ever happened to good old porn flicks? - Page 2

wolf · 03-30-2004, 12:31 AM

Yeah, they sure don't make films like "Alien Lust" anymore ...

Silent · 03-30-2004, 07:54 AM

You need to download more.

Milf Hunter, Mike's Apartment, Flesh Hunter, Anabolic etc. etc.....

Some of them are pretty good. And it is a fresh parade of women, for the most part.

Some of the German stuff (as long as you don't need to understand the finer points of the conversation) is good.

The only dangerous stuff is the Japanese porn. Most is fine, (I have a weakness for orientals) but some of it is sick shit.

BrianR · 03-30-2004, 11:13 AM

Speaking from my lofty position as the closest thing we have to a resident porn star, I can tell you that there is an "indie" movement out there that still makes movies with "plot", some of the older, established California companies still make half decent films (now on video of course) and every now and then, someone comes up with a new and/or funny idea that makes a video (or scene) worth the effort to keep my eyes open.

And if you look carefully, you might even see yours truly in one of those compilation DVDs. I'm out there, and I saw one of my stills on the back of a box at a video rental place in Jacksonville Fla. But you're out of luck, I can't remember the title anymore.

Brian

vsp · 03-30-2004, 11:40 AM

I'm rarely opposed to a good skin flick, but I do have problems trying to find one that doesn't push my wife's "ewwww" buttons and remains interesting.

She's not into girl-girl scenes (can't blame her, as I doubt guy-guy scenes would excite me), anal sex or facials; for the most part, movies without one or two (let alone all three) of those are watered down to late-night-Cinemax standards.

SteveDallas · 03-30-2004, 12:01 PM

How does she feel about "Girls Gone Wild"?

BrianR · 03-30-2004, 11:15 PM

Try The Devil in Miss Jones pt 2.

Dagney saw this and laughed heartily. It has no anal, lesbian or facial scenes and a half-decent plot to it that even women can relate to. For porn standards anyway.

It remains one of my top ten porn favorites.

Brian

blue · 03-31-2004, 06:42 AM

Wait, you're married...and you STILL get to watch porn?! How the hell do you pull that off?

SteveDallas · 03-31-2004, 09:33 AM

1. Go to video store

2. Make selection

3. Go to counter & hand them your card

[3.5. Optional step: smirk at female college student working at the register]

4. Return home

5. Start the tape or disc

phillybilly · 03-31-2004, 02:32 PM

besides trying to get my own porn label started, since I'm from Philadelphia I would call it the 'dirty quaker'.....with an old man in a billy penn suit with the most lewd smile you can think of

The other thing I would LOVE to do, would be a to make a porn show, ALA mystery science theater!

I mean come one!!! The indie scene would love it!!

get the REAL bad one's from like the 60'-70's-80's & 90's and just have at them!!

Instead of Tom Servo it could be Tom Cervix
Instead of crow T. Robot it could be Russ T. Knob
Instead of Mike or Joel I would have black guy named Tyrone Shoes and he sits home all day instead of working and watches porn! (of course his baby mamma works to pay the bills) OR if you think that may be to of 'color' I would have a white named Phil McGroin and he's lives in his Mom's basement and watches porn while she's asleep......

THAT WOULD BE GREAT!!!

Oh well I can dream, Later!

BrianR · 03-31-2004, 09:11 PM

Dude. I don't wanna rain on your parade, but Phila is NOT the place to try to do porn. Take my word for it.

The place to be is Los Angeles, CA or MAYBE Miami, Fla. That's where the infrastructure, support, and talent is. You can maybe do a scene shoot at a local college for a series like Barely Legal (Hustler) or like that. But there's really no talent here. Professional talent, I mean.

I used to work for Good Time Charlie Video Productions here. They were a startup. Found out that it takes like $10,000 to even THINK about a porn movie. Not counting the investment in camera and editing equipment. Then you got sound stuff, lighting (there's never enough ambient light) and models' fees. Then there's the intangibles like hotel rooms, catering, makeup artist, costuming (yes, costuming. Lingerie is a costume.) Never mind retakes and cuts for stock footage. You think those professional studs always come? Not on your life. They cut in stock footage of a previous money shot he may have done in the past. Watch carefully and you may see the Incredible Changing Nail Polish, Mysterious "Chameleon Hair" or clothes that appear and disappear out of synch with the models and the timeline.

But it IS a nice fantasy. Think of getting PAID to lay pipe! With all those hot chicks! And getting to watch while you recharge for your next scene.

Glad those days are behind me now.

Brian

Undertoad · 03-31-2004, 09:33 PM

Actually I'm told Conshohocken is a new center for such stuff. I was told that before that one porn chick turned up dead on the bike trail near there the other week.

Beestie · 03-31-2004, 09:37 PM

OK - so what are some of the best titles for porn flicks that you have seen. I remember stumbling into a porn video store a good while back with some buddies and laughing our asses off at some of the titles. Two that stuck out:

Lickety Clit

...or...

Assmasters

Of course, we could make it interesting and think up a title if a Cellarite were in it.

Such as...

Slumberjim's Lumber Party

...or...

Lumberjimson - Not Just A Hair Gel Anymore

...or...

Lumberjim Whips Out The Wood

...or...

Lumberjim's Log Splitter

Don't mean to pick on Lj but he started the thread and, like a bad Michael Crichton book, sometimes these things take on a life of their own

Clodfobble · 03-31-2004, 10:04 PM

My favorite porn title ever (and, I must admit, some friends rented this one after I noticed it, because we were drunk at the time and were only stopping by the adult video store because it was right next to the liquor store where we were restocking before we headed back to the party)....

Gilligan's Bi-Land.

lumberjim · 03-31-2004, 11:32 PM

"politically erect"

lumberjim · 04-01-2004, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Of course, we could make it interesting and think up a title if a Cellarite were in it.

Such as...

Slumberjim's Lumber Party

...or...

Lumberjimson - Not Just A Hair Gel Anymore

...or...

Lumberjim Whips Out The Wood

...or...

Lumberjim's Log Splitter

Lumberjim's Lumberjohnson

Beestie's Allity

Blew58....he needed the money!

Elspode and his choad

xxxbruce

and so on

03-30-2004, 12:31 AM	#16
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Yeah, they sure don't make films like "Alien Lust" anymore ... __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-30-2004, 11:13 AM	#18
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Speaking from my lofty position as the closest thing we have to a resident porn star, I can tell you that there is an "indie" movement out there that still makes movies with "plot", some of the older, established California companies still make half decent films (now on video of course) and every now and then, someone comes up with a new and/or funny idea that makes a video (or scene) worth the effort to keep my eyes open. And if you look carefully, you might even see yours truly in one of those compilation DVDs. I'm out there, and I saw one of my stills on the back of a box at a video rental place in Jacksonville Fla. But you're out of luck, I can't remember the title anymore. Brian __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

03-30-2004, 11:15 PM	#21
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Try The Devil in Miss Jones pt 2. Dagney saw this and laughed heartily. It has no anal, lesbian or facial scenes and a half-decent plot to it that even women can relate to. For porn standards anyway. It remains one of my top ten porn favorites. Brian __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

03-31-2004, 06:42 AM	#22
blue Operations Operative Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Northern WI Posts: 739	Is anyone making good porn anymore? Wait, you're married...and you STILL get to watch porn?! How the hell do you pull that off? __________________ If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell "tornado!", and run like hell.

03-31-2004, 02:32 PM	#24
phillybilly Belt Conveyor Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Philadelphia, Pa Posts: 68	That's weird... besides trying to get my own porn label started, since I'm from Philadelphia I would call it the 'dirty quaker'.....with an old man in a billy penn suit with the most lewd smile you can think of The other thing I would LOVE to do, would be a to make a porn show, ALA mystery science theater! I mean come one!!! The indie scene would love it!! get the REAL bad one's from like the 60'-70's-80's & 90's and just have at them!! Instead of Tom Servo it could be Tom Cervix Instead of crow T. Robot it could be Russ T. Knob Instead of Mike or Joel I would have black guy named Tyrone Shoes and he sits home all day instead of working and watches porn! (of course his baby mamma works to pay the bills) OR if you think that may be to of 'color' I would have a white named Phil McGroin and he's lives in his Mom's basement and watches porn while she's asleep...... THAT WOULD BE GREAT!!! Oh well I can dream, Later!

03-30-2004, 07:54 AM	#17
Silent Romanes Eunt Domus Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Nova Scotia Posts: 702	You need to download more. Milf Hunter, Mike's Apartment, Flesh Hunter, Anabolic etc. etc..... Some of them are pretty good. And it is a fresh parade of women, for the most part. Some of the German stuff (as long as you don't need to understand the finer points of the conversation) is good. The only dangerous stuff is the Japanese porn. Most is fine, (I have a weakness for orientals) but some of it is sick shit.

03-30-2004, 11:40 AM	#19
vsp Syndrome of a Down Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: West Chester Posts: 1,367	I'm rarely opposed to a good skin flick, but I do have problems trying to find one that doesn't push my wife's "ewwww" buttons and remains interesting. She's not into girl-girl scenes (can't blame her, as I doubt guy-guy scenes would excite me), anal sex or facials; for the most part, movies without one or two (let alone all three) of those are watered down to late-night-Cinemax standards.

03-30-2004, 12:01 PM	#20
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	How does she feel about "Girls Gone Wild"?

03-31-2004, 09:33 AM	#23
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	1. Go to video store 2. Make selection 3. Go to counter & hand them your card [3.5. Optional step: smirk at female college student working at the register] 4. Return home 5. Start the tape or disc

03-31-2004, 09:11 PM	#25
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Dude. I don't wanna rain on your parade, but Phila is NOT the place to try to do porn. Take my word for it. The place to be is Los Angeles, CA or MAYBE Miami, Fla. That's where the infrastructure, support, and talent is. You can maybe do a scene shoot at a local college for a series like Barely Legal (Hustler) or like that. But there's really no talent here. Professional talent, I mean. I used to work for Good Time Charlie Video Productions here. They were a startup. Found out that it takes like $10,000 to even THINK about a porn movie. Not counting the investment in camera and editing equipment. Then you got sound stuff, lighting (there's never enough ambient light) and models' fees. Then there's the intangibles like hotel rooms, catering, makeup artist, costuming (yes, costuming. Lingerie is a costume.) Never mind retakes and cuts for stock footage. You think those professional studs always come? Not on your life. They cut in stock footage of a previous money shot he may have done in the past. Watch carefully and you may see the Incredible Changing Nail Polish, Mysterious "Chameleon Hair" or clothes that appear and disappear out of synch with the models and the timeline. But it IS a nice fantasy. Think of getting PAID to lay pipe! With all those hot chicks! And getting to watch while you recharge for your next scene. Glad those days are behind me now. Brian __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

03-31-2004, 09:33 PM	#26
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Actually I'm told Conshohocken is a new center for such stuff. I was told that before that one porn chick turned up dead on the bike trail near there the other week.

03-31-2004, 09:37 PM	#27
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	OK - so what are some of the best titles for porn flicks that you have seen. I remember stumbling into a porn video store a good while back with some buddies and laughing our asses off at some of the titles. Two that stuck out: Lickety Clit ...or... Assmasters Of course, we could make it interesting and think up a title if a Cellarite were in it. Such as... Slumberjim's Lumber Party ...or... Lumberjimson - Not Just A Hair Gel Anymore ...or... Lumberjim Whips Out The Wood ...or... Lumberjim's Log Splitter Don't mean to pick on Lj but he started the thread and, like a bad Michael Crichton book, sometimes these things take on a life of their own __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

03-31-2004, 10:04 PM	#28
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	My favorite porn title ever (and, I must admit, some friends rented this one after I noticed it, because we were drunk at the time and were only stopping by the adult video store because it was right next to the liquor store where we were restocking before we headed back to the party).... Gilligan's Bi-Land.

03-31-2004, 11:32 PM	#29
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	"politically erect" __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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