Narcissistic Personality Disorder (a novella, sorry)

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by glatt

But by asking that question, am I demonstrating that I don't have NPD?

It shows you care, which is probably a good indication you don't.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

...(but not before buying his own Walther PPK, because that's what you do)

Shows he was completely out of touch with reality, and probably would instead of taking a bullet for the prez, would choose someone else to.

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by glatt

...
Also, how can somebody with NPD get into a position of power?
Who gave him the boss job and why? Surely they knew he was a tool?

OK - Do NOT take me too seriously here, but... it's largely power and point of view...

First, pretend for the moment you are a young Black American male.
Got it ? ... but instead of just one year, think of a lifetime

Now, read the bullet points defining NPD in UT's OP here

Who comes to mind ?

.

[glatt]

I'm not sure where you are trying to lead me? Is it a cops thing?

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by glatt

I'm not sure where you are trying to lead me? Is it a cops thing?

NPD may be a legitimate diagnosis of a mental defect, I don't know.

But it doesn't surprise me that a simple change in POV engendered the "cop thing".
It was just a simple way to show "...it's largely power and point of view"

To present certain behaviors as a specific "defect" distorts the continuum of power we all see daily,
and which becomes less bearable the further down we are on a given power-scale.

[monster]

Originally Posted by classicman

Speaking of exes ... mine was planning on getting married on my birthday next year. When I discussed it with her, she simply said "Its just another day"
Um, OK - just another day I'm taking all the kids on a tropical vacation to Mexico.
Anyway - she went up got married yesterday - never told the kids (27, 25, 23). My daughter and I found out at the same time when she saw the post on BaseFook. My daughter was REALLY upset. Seriously, help me out here. WTF? She didn't even tell her own kids nor call them afterward? She has them see a fucking post on FB? Really? Is it me?

My mom did this too. No facebook in those days, turned up on the doorstep with a slice of wedding cake "for us" with new husband waiting in car. I was maybe 11. Some people are just....

[it]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Everybody's ex is whacko in one way or another.

...Are there people with ex's who aren't themselves people's ex's? Doesn't that just mean everyone is a whacko? If not innately, then at least after a relationship...

Personally, at least one of my ex's can be so sane and reasonable most of the time that it's almost a form of insanity on it's own right.
As far as the other one goes - I sometimes wish she was a psychopath. A psychopath will stab you once because you are in their way, a narcissist will then stab you again and again for bleeding offensively in a way that implies they could ever stab someone in the first place, then bury you alive but bleeding to muffle the noises.

I say "can" for a reason though - she can also be far from it - but there is nothing within the realm of sanity that is deprived of her. However, "can be sane" can not be said of the other one - There are fundamental human emotional capacities she is not really capable of. It took me a long time to acknowledge it about her, and when I did I still used to fantasize that any moment she'd rise to the occasion and prove it all wrong and make it all go away. Obviously, that never happened.

I think "can" is a good measuring stick - kind of like the difference between the concepts of positive liberty and negative liberty, but for sanity. This is part of why I cringe whenever someone argues in favor of trigger words for PTSD - I've been diagnosed with PTSD with a 1st and 2nd opinion agreeing obnoxiously, but I just learned to treat panic attacks and flashbacks as part of life, the idea that I should run away from it and let it handicap me... I hate that approach.




P.S.
I am counting 7 possible discussion drifting direction points above, hopefully they'll cancel each other out. Quick, someone say something positively supporting and encouraging to Toad. Or I'll do it.. With the power of emotes.

*LOOKS AT TOAD*
*ENCOURAGE*
*ENCOURAGE*
*ENCOURAGE*
*ENCOURAGE*

Did that work?

[it]

Originally Posted by glatt

That's a scary thought. So how can any of us know if we have NPD? Maybe I have NPD and don't realize it.

You can actually just go to a good psychiatrist.

I am serious btw. Some of them just try to subscribe meds, but others are extremely cautious and will look for a more complete diagnosis. It was one of the things she tested me for - among many others - through a series of sessions, though without me knowing until after the fact. If you'll ask once she has done her summary and if she is willing to give you the time and explain things - what various conditions and causes she looked for and what canceled them out - you wont only come out knowing what you do have, you'll also come out knowing a bunch of what you probably don't.

[Undertoad]

Drift away sir, I don't know that I have much more to say about NPD guy.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by traceur

...Are there people with ex's who aren't themselves people's ex's? Doesn't that just mean everyone is a whacko? If not innately, then at least after a relationship...

Yes.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by traceur

You can actually just go to a good psychiatrist.

Sadly, I've never met one.
There was the one who told me I wasn't depressed, but beyond that (in our only-ever and five minute appointment) told me nothing else.

There was the one who didn't want me to spend Christmas with my family last year, despite the fact he'd never met me before and I certainly had not indicated that there was an issue with my family apart from me missing them.

And there was the one who gave me my official diagnosis on the basis of two (lucky me - TWO this time!) meetings. Then despite one of my issues being a problem with dealing with any kind of change except the jingly sort, told me I was leaving the nuthouse that day. I don't expect everyone to understand my problems, and I don't really expect people to make allowances for them. But the one place where you'd hope for a little understanding of mental health is a mental health facility.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by monster

My mom did this too. ~~. Some people are just....

Thanks ... still shaking my head and trying to clean up the mess with the kids.
OK, Done hijacking this thread - Sorry UT.

[lumberjim]

They do have tests that will tell you if you're NPD. I took one. Jinx had me pretty convinced that I was AFU.... and maybe I am... but I don't have NPD. I hit a couple points on that list in the OP, but not enough to be diagnosed as damaged. And I'm actually a pretty nice person. I DO have empathy. Sometimes I don't have much Sympathy... but that's because people are assholes.

[Lamplighter]

Just for a few seconds diversion...

[it]

glatt - by jewography laws I am guessing you are probably related to quite a few people around here, one way or another.

If you ever have a trip planned that includes staying in the north of Israel long enough (You could just make it condensed daily sessions - that's what I did), I can look up her contact information.

Originally Posted by lumberjim

They do have tests that will tell you if you're NPD. I took one. Jinx had me pretty convinced that I was AFU.... and maybe I am... but I don't have NPD. I hit a couple points on that list in the OP, but not enough to be diagnosed as damaged. And I'm actually a pretty nice person. I DO have empathy. Sometimes I don't have much Sympathy... but that's because people are assholes.

You mean online tests?

From those I've seen they don't test for narcissism the personality disorder, they test for narcissism the fictionalized trope.

The problem is that those are not the same thing. People with NPD can be narcissistic - it is a possible indication because it's a great strategy for gaining narcissistic supply - but they are just as likely to be covert narcissists, or even be neither but still have narcissistic injury, be incapable of seen themselves and act on narcissistic rage when something in life indirectly suggests the narcissistic injury could be true. On the other hand, you can also just be an arrogant asshole without having any of those.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by traceur

glatt - by jewography laws I am guessing you are probably related to quite a few people around here, one way or another.

If you ever have a trip planned that includes staying in the north of Israel long enough (You could just make it condensed daily sessions - that's what I did), I can look up her contact information.

Thanks! I don't foresee any trips to Israel soon. Not that I'm opposed to the idea, it's just not anything that I've ever seriously considered.

My handle, by the way, comes from an old nickname that's a play on my real name. It wasn't until years after I got this nickname that I learned that it's also a Jewish thing. I'm not Jewish.