Is it OK to ask people about their reproductive plans? - Page 2

classicman · 01-02-2016, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

She sounds like a bitch. Get over yourself. People ask questions. Don't tell me what to ask you. You think your thoughts, I'll think mine.

This...

The appropriate answer can range from an honest answer to "None of your fucking business."
The problem is not in the asking.

Undertoad · 01-02-2016, 01:57 PM

This person does not seem very well-equipped to be a parent.

DanaC · 01-02-2016, 02:00 PM

Because she ranted online about something that is pissing her off?

By that rubrik, how many people are?

You know what I think? I think different people draw different lines about what they consider intrusive and rude, and what they consider fair game fior conversation. I also think there are gender differences in what we ask and get asked on a regular basis.

Most of us, myself included, who find the 'when are you/are you' going tohave children questions intrusive never actually give anyone grief about asking us. We take it on the chin, because it would be rude not to. But apparently it is also rude to complain in any forum that this thing people keep asking you is something you find really discomforting in a general sense.

I've seen people get more bent out of shape about apostrophes and they didn't get questioned about their fitness to parent.

glatt · 01-02-2016, 02:15 PM

She's not just complaining/ranting though, is she? She's instructing everyone on what they are allowed to talk about.

Undertoad · 01-02-2016, 02:16 PM

She's turned her own minor social discomfort into angry demands. Red flag for me

You know who really boldly doesn't give a shit about your minor discomfort... a toddler

You know who you give a lifetime of emotional problems to by making random angry demands...

infinite monkey · 01-02-2016, 09:12 PM

Oh hail. I was asked, when I was young and engaged to be married, when I was gonna start having kids. I said I wasn't sure I was going to. "Won't you regret that someday? " Maybe, but not a good reason for now. Won't we think of the children?

Great parents are great but those of us who have made other choices have mostly done so without our head in the clouds, and with every bit of knowledge that it is the right choice for us. Wish I could've been that other girl, but I'm not.

infinite monkey · 01-02-2016, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Because she ranted online about something that is pissing her off?

By that rubrik, how many people are?

You know what I think? I think different people draw different lines about what they consider intrusive and rude, and what they consider fair game fior conversation. I also think there are gender differences in what we ask and get asked on a regular basis.

Most of us, myself included, who find the 'when are you/are you' going tohave children questions intrusive never actually give anyone grief about asking us. We take it on the chin, because it would be rude not to. But apparently it is also rude to complain in any forum that this thing people keep asking you is something you find really discomforting in a general sense.

I've seen people get more bent out of shape about apostrophes and they didn't get questioned about their fitness to parent.

I love this post, btw. I think you nailed it.

infinite monkey · 01-02-2016, 10:52 PM

... deleted by request because I'm pandering for moderator votes ....
-glatt

monster · 01-02-2016, 11:10 PM

no, but it was bitchy

infinite monkey · 01-03-2016, 12:53 AM

Yeah, I am the bitchy. I'm still hoping for an answer because it's very important I know their plans vis a vis reproduction.

infinite monkey · 01-04-2016, 11:05 AM

I wish I could disappear that post...it's not funny like it seemed at the time and I wish we had a bigger window to delete/edit. Mods, post 23, make it gone? Or do we not do that?

footfootfoot · 01-04-2016, 01:05 PM

"So, are you going to use that copier?" <-- OK

xoxoxoBruce · 01-04-2016, 01:31 PM

We haven't decided, we wanted to check with you first.

monster · 01-04-2016, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

I wish I could disappear that post...it's not funny like it seemed at the time and I wish we had a bigger window to delete/edit. Mods, post 23, make it gone? Or do we not do that?

Well i was only teasing because the fertility shamer was called bitchy. Hence the

lumberjim · 01-04-2016, 11:49 PM

See what I started? Such a shit stirrer. My word.

01-02-2016, 10:52 PM	#23
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	... deleted by request because I'm pandering for moderator votes .... -glatt Last edited by glatt; 01-04-2016 at 11:09 AM. Reason: by request.

01-02-2016, 11:10 PM	#24
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	no, but it was bitchy __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

01-04-2016, 01:05 PM	#27
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	"So, are you going to use that copier?" <-- OK __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

01-04-2016, 01:31 PM	#28
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	We haven't decided, we wanted to check with you first. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-04-2016, 11:49 PM	#30
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	See what I started? Such a shit stirrer. My word. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

01-02-2016, 01:57 PM	#17
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	This person does not seem very well-equipped to be a parent.

01-02-2016, 02:15 PM	#19
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	She's not just complaining/ranting though, is she? She's instructing everyone on what they are allowed to talk about.

01-02-2016, 02:16 PM	#20
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	She's turned her own minor social discomfort into angry demands. Red flag for me You know who really boldly doesn't give a shit about your minor discomfort... a toddler You know who you give a lifetime of emotional problems to by making random angry demands...

01-02-2016, 09:12 PM	#21
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Oh hail. I was asked, when I was young and engaged to be married, when I was gonna start having kids. I said I wasn't sure I was going to. "Won't you regret that someday? " Maybe, but not a good reason for now. Won't we think of the children? Great parents are great but those of us who have made other choices have mostly done so without our head in the clouds, and with every bit of knowledge that it is the right choice for us. Wish I could've been that other girl, but I'm not.

01-03-2016, 12:53 AM	#25
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Yeah, I am the bitchy. I'm still hoping for an answer because it's very important I know their plans vis a vis reproduction.

01-04-2016, 11:05 AM	#26
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I wish I could disappear that post...it's not funny like it seemed at the time and I wish we had a bigger window to delete/edit. Mods, post 23, make it gone? Or do we not do that?

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