Random Thoughts - Page 41

Gravdigr · 11-17-2017, 09:53 AM

I hope the person who invented glitter is roasting on the same spit, in the same pit in hell as the piece of shit who laid out my subdivision.

WTF was I thinking when I bought this god damned place?

WTF was I thinking when I took that pistol outta my mouth?

WTF was I thinking when I ducked when that motherfucker shot at me that time?

WTF was I thinking when I took that last breath?

I guess I was thinking "Suffer, motherfucker, suffer."

Gravdigr · 11-20-2017, 01:49 PM

Name: similarsame.JPG
Views: 473
Size: 49.2 KB

Gravdigr · 12-01-2017, 01:07 PM

Ya ever seen an Arab midget?

Gravdigr · 12-02-2017, 03:46 PM

Would women be less sexy, as sexy, or sexier, if, instead of two boobs, they had just one big boob? Like a camel hump poking outta their chest.

monster · 12-04-2017, 07:16 PM

depends if you like to put your dick between them or not?

Gravdigr · 12-05-2017, 05:32 PM

Good point.

Gravdigr · 12-07-2017, 04:33 PM

Human beings are just rotten as shit.

lumberjim · 12-07-2017, 05:01 PM

10/80/10

Gravdigr · 12-12-2017, 04:05 PM

Wuzzat, some kinda fertilizer?

*********************************************************

Name: truth.jpg
Views: 415
Size: 71.5 KB

Name: usefulness.JPG
Views: 392
Size: 44.4 KB

DanaC · 12-12-2017, 04:30 PM

That bottom one is excellent.

sexobon · 12-24-2017, 02:02 PM

If Santa Clause drops lumps of coal on North Korea, will it violate UN sanctions?

Santa global positioning status: https://www.noradsanta.org/

Gravdigr · 12-24-2017, 04:51 PM

Yesterday I went to WallyWorld for some last minute stuff. As I'm getting out of GrandCherokee1, a guy and his wife (?) are getting out of their car 2 empty parking spaces away.

The guy takes a couple steps in my direction and says:

"Excuse me, sir?" (btw, do ya get used to that 'sir' shit as ya get older? It still fucks with me.)

I said "Can I help ya?", expecting him to ask for money, or some Xmassy, scammy-type thing.

He says "Boy, I sure hope so. I'll give you a $100 right now if you'll whup my ass so I don't have to go in here (pointing to WallyWorld).

I looked at him for a minute and said "Deal. But, you'll have to wait for me to come back out, I'm sure I'll be ready to fight by the time I get outta there." And then I looked the guy up and down right quick, he's 6 feet tall, 250 lbs if he weighs an ounce, and then I said "I might have to section off a piece of ya to whup on, you a pretty good sized old boy."

He laughed. I laughed. He's funny, I'm funny, we're all pretty fuckin' funny.

Dude's wife came off with the line of the year as far as I'm concerned. She said, without even glancing at the guy:

"If you wanted your ass whupped, you shoulda said something before we left the house."

monster · 12-24-2017, 08:32 PM

xoxoxoBruce · 12-24-2017, 09:43 PM

That is fucking priceless.

Carruthers · 12-25-2017, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

"Excuse me, sir?" (btw, do ya get used to that 'sir' shit as ya get older? It still fucks with me.)

I know exactly what you mean.
A few weeks ago I nipped out for some milk and as I crossed the road to the shop a member of the Ministry of Defence Provost Guard Service was just getting out of his vehicle. (There's a nearby MoD establishment).
So, I nod and wish him good morning and receive a 'good morning, sir' in response.
That took me by surprise as nobody ever calls me 'sir' unless they are attempting to extract money from me.
Proof, I suppose, if proof were needed that decrepitude really has set in.

11-17-2017, 09:53 AM	#601
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I hope the person who invented glitter is roasting on the same spit, in the same pit in hell as the piece of shit who laid out my subdivision. WTF was I thinking when I bought this god damned place? WTF was I thinking when I took that pistol outta my mouth? WTF was I thinking when I ducked when that motherfucker shot at me that time? WTF was I thinking when I took that last breath? I guess I was thinking "Suffer, motherfucker, suffer." __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-20-2017, 01:49 PM	#602
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-01-2017, 01:07 PM	#603
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Ya ever seen an Arab midget? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-02-2017, 03:46 PM	#604
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Would women be less sexy, as sexy, or sexier, if, instead of two boobs, they had just one big boob? Like a camel hump poking outta their chest. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-04-2017, 07:16 PM	#605
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	depends if you like to put your dick between them or not? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-05-2017, 05:32 PM	#606
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Good point. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-07-2017, 04:33 PM	#607
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Human beings are just rotten as shit. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-07-2017, 05:01 PM	#608
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	10/80/10 __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-12-2017, 04:05 PM	#609
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Wuzzat, some kinda fertilizer? ********************************************************* __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-24-2017, 02:02 PM	#611
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	If Santa Clause drops lumps of coal on North Korea, will it violate UN sanctions? Santa global positioning status: https://www.noradsanta.org/

12-24-2017, 04:51 PM	#612
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Yesterday I went to WallyWorld for some last minute stuff. As I'm getting out of GrandCherokee1, a guy and his wife (?) are getting out of their car 2 empty parking spaces away. The guy takes a couple steps in my direction and says: "Excuse me, sir?" (btw, do ya get used to that 'sir' shit as ya get older? It still fucks with me.) I said "Can I help ya?", expecting him to ask for money, or some Xmassy, scammy-type thing. He says "Boy, I sure hope so. I'll give you a $100 right now if you'll whup my ass so I don't have to go in here (pointing to WallyWorld). I looked at him for a minute and said "Deal. But, you'll have to wait for me to come back out, I'm sure I'll be ready to fight by the time I get outta there." And then I looked the guy up and down right quick, he's 6 feet tall, 250 lbs if he weighs an ounce, and then I said "I might have to section off a piece of ya to whup on, you a pretty good sized old boy." He laughed. I laughed. He's funny, I'm funny, we're all pretty fuckin' funny. Dude's wife came off with the line of the year as far as I'm concerned. She said, without even glancing at the guy: "If you wanted your ass whupped, you shoulda said something before we left the house." __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

12-24-2017, 08:32 PM	#613
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	__________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

12-24-2017, 09:43 PM	#614
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	That is fucking priceless. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)