need really really bad advice - Page 6

Silent · 07-29-2005, 08:16 PM

Find out where your boss shops.
Then, wear the same outfit he (or she) does the day after them.

bluecuracao · 07-29-2005, 10:53 PM

Kiss a cat on the mouth.

Griff · 07-30-2005, 07:19 AM

When your kids reach middle-school encourage your wife to play with babies and make sure she's off the pill.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-30-2005, 11:49 AM

Hang a dead animal in your house for a week then use it for a surfboard.

Clodfobble · 07-30-2005, 12:26 PM

"Freddie's Heart Attack Sandwich"--served open-faced on Texas Toast with tomatoes, ten slices of bacon, and drenched in queso (melted cheese with peppers for you weirdo northerners.)

Eat the whole thing. Then skip dinner.

lookout123 · 07-30-2005, 12:30 PM

well there is always the old standby - call out the wrong name during sex. if you really want to make life interesting, make it a name from the "wrong" sex. your home life is bound to be lively for awhile.

Elspode · 07-30-2005, 12:40 PM

Become elderly or disabled in Missouri. Rely on Medicaid for part of your healthcare needs or the Public Service Commission to keep your utility rates in line. Continue to vote for Republican governors who aspire to impress the big boys in Washington.

mrnoodle · 07-30-2005, 12:55 PM

Refuse to leave your house for any reason, and offer no explanation to family, friends, or employers. When the cops come to check your welfare, urinate on them through the slats of your boarded up windows. When they finally break in with a SWAT team and the whitecoats, be in the shower.

In advance, prepare several dozen videotapes of yourself in the shower. Have them playing in several rooms simultaneously at the time of your arrest.

jinx · 07-30-2005, 01:03 PM

When buying a house, take the seller's word for it that the basement/roof leaks only in "hurricane conditions". Fill the attic with treasures and pile the rest on the basement floor.

Elspode · 07-30-2005, 05:31 PM

Feed wild bears with sumptuous morsels of fresh salmon for a couple of weeks. Go hiking in the woods with fish pinned to your down jacket.

wolf · 07-30-2005, 07:19 PM

A few pieces of bad advice garnered from AD&D

During a thunderstorm, stand on the top of a hill in plate armor, raise your sword to the sky and shout "All Gods are Bastards!!"

At full speed on horseback, charge into a densely wooded forest after your direst foe, who appears vulnerable. (To this day I can hear the player ask me ... "Why do I have to make a saving throw?")

Books bound in human skin do not make good bedtime reading.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-30-2005, 07:37 PM

Go to a pro wrestling match and lick the bosom of one (or all) of the wrestler's girlfriends.

slang · 07-30-2005, 08:03 PM

Go to Bing-hamp-ton....Find a cop. Strip down naked and paint you face red. Approach the occifer yelling and screaming while brandishing you favorite handcannon.

busterb · 07-30-2005, 08:05 PM

Tell someone that you have a problem w/dog packs. And he bring you a 22 Ruger with a scope and a baby nipple wired to it. Damn. That's all I need.

richlevy · 07-30-2005, 08:37 PM

Join the Tom Cruise for President campaign.

07-30-2005, 07:19 AM	#78
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	When your kids reach middle-school encourage your wife to play with babies and make sure she's off the pill. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

07-30-2005, 11:49 AM	#79
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Hang a dead animal in your house for a week then use it for a surfboard. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-30-2005, 12:30 PM	#81
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	well there is always the old standby - call out the wrong name during sex. if you really want to make life interesting, make it a name from the "wrong" sex. your home life is bound to be lively for awhile. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

07-30-2005, 12:40 PM	#82
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Become elderly or disabled in Missouri. Rely on Medicaid for part of your healthcare needs or the Public Service Commission to keep your utility rates in line. Continue to vote for Republican governors who aspire to impress the big boys in Washington. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

07-30-2005, 01:03 PM	#84
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	When buying a house, take the seller's word for it that the basement/roof leaks only in "hurricane conditions". Fill the attic with treasures and pile the rest on the basement floor. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

07-29-2005, 08:16 PM	#76
Silent Romanes Eunt Domus Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Nova Scotia Posts: 702	Find out where your boss shops. Then, wear the same outfit he (or she) does the day after them.

07-29-2005, 10:53 PM	#77
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Kiss a cat on the mouth.

07-30-2005, 12:26 PM	#80
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	"Freddie's Heart Attack Sandwich"--served open-faced on Texas Toast with tomatoes, ten slices of bacon, and drenched in queso (melted cheese with peppers for you weirdo northerners.) Eat the whole thing. Then skip dinner.

07-30-2005, 12:55 PM	#83
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	Refuse to leave your house for any reason, and offer no explanation to family, friends, or employers. When the cops come to check your welfare, urinate on them through the slats of your boarded up windows. When they finally break in with a SWAT team and the whitecoats, be in the shower. In advance, prepare several dozen videotapes of yourself in the shower. Have them playing in several rooms simultaneously at the time of your arrest.

07-30-2005, 05:31 PM	#85
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Feed wild bears with sumptuous morsels of fresh salmon for a couple of weeks. Go hiking in the woods with fish pinned to your down jacket. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

07-30-2005, 07:19 PM	#86
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	A few pieces of bad advice garnered from AD&D During a thunderstorm, stand on the top of a hill in plate armor, raise your sword to the sky and shout "All Gods are Bastards!!" At full speed on horseback, charge into a densely wooded forest after your direst foe, who appears vulnerable. (To this day I can hear the player ask me ... "Why do I have to make a saving throw?") Books bound in human skin do not make good bedtime reading. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

07-30-2005, 07:37 PM	#87
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Go to a pro wrestling match and lick the bosom of one (or all) of the wrestler's girlfriends. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-30-2005, 08:03 PM	#88
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Go to Bing-hamp-ton....Find a cop. Strip down naked and paint you face red. Approach the occifer yelling and screaming while brandishing you favorite handcannon.

07-30-2005, 08:05 PM	#89
busterb NSABFD Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: MS. usa Posts: 3,908	Tell someone that you have a problem w/dog packs. And he bring you a 22 Ruger with a scope and a baby nipple wired to it. Damn. That's all I need. __________________ I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.

07-30-2005, 08:37 PM	#90
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	Join the Tom Cruise for President campaign. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

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