Interesting new policy at the post office

slang · 08-31-2006, 12:39 PM

New rules for packages now?

I sent a package overseas via US post office yesterday. One of the items was a 3.3 oz bottle of purfume. It was not allowed in the package.

At the counter of a very hot and crowded post office.....

Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or purfume going into this package?
Slang: Ummm......yeah (grabs the purfume)
Clerk: YOU CANT PUT THAT INTO THE PACKAGE!
Slang: Oh. Am I under arrest or something?
Clerk: What are you thinking trying to send something like that in a package. Jesus Christ!
Slang: Yeah, I guess I just wasn't thinking. (looking down at the floor)
Clerk: (stares at me while processing the shipment documentation)

This is getting just a bit ridiculous, but you can't argue with the postal workers or they might just....well, go postal.

08-31-2006, 12:45 PM

Perfume?
What's it gonna' do?

I lie about what goes into my postal packages all the time.

Iggy · 08-31-2006, 01:02 PM

Pretty soon we won't be able to ship anything. Jeez.

Flint · 08-31-2006, 01:08 PM

You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass.

Elspode · 08-31-2006, 01:41 PM

Apparently, people were shipping perfume in large quantities to the Middle East, and that just pissed them off. Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too.

headsplice · 08-31-2006, 03:58 PM

Easy solution: just lie.

lulu · 08-31-2006, 04:02 PM

That sucks.

Happy Monkey · 08-31-2006, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lulu

That sucks.

No, it stinks.

Flint · 08-31-2006, 04:06 PM

Hey, the post office never promised you a rose garden...

lulu · 08-31-2006, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy Monkey

No, it stinks.

That too.

slang · 08-31-2006, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass.

Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or a balloon full of perfume up your ass?
Slang: Damn!! How'd you know?
Clerk: I work for the post office and we know everything....except where your missing mail went.

slang · 08-31-2006, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too.

The camelipstick sailed through. Go figure.

slang · 08-31-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by headsplice

Easy solution: just lie.

From jail......

Convict: What you in for bitch?
Slang: Well, I had some purfume up----ah....murder.

glatt · 08-31-2006, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slang

From jail......

Convict: What you in for bitch?
Slang: Well, I had some purfume up----ah....murder.

"...and creating a nuisance"

xoxoxoBruce · 08-31-2006, 09:46 PM

Probably flag perfume because of the flammable liquid thing.

08-31-2006, 12:39 PM	#1
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	Interesting new policy at the post office New rules for packages now? I sent a package overseas via US post office yesterday. One of the items was a 3.3 oz bottle of purfume. It was not allowed in the package. At the counter of a very hot and crowded post office..... Clerk: Any bullets, guns, knives, rockets, biological agents, nuclear material, shoebombs, broken glass, gasoline, toenail clippers, boxcutters, tweezers, ...(takes a breath)..lighters, sharpend pencils, rolled up newspapers, scary holloween masks, staples, thick rubber bands, combs over 8" long.........or purfume going into this package? Slang: Ummm......yeah (grabs the purfume) Clerk: YOU CANT PUT THAT INTO THE PACKAGE! Slang: Oh. Am I under arrest or something? Clerk: What are you thinking trying to send something like that in a package. Jesus Christ! Slang: Yeah, I guess I just wasn't thinking. (looking down at the floor) Clerk: (stares at me while processing the shipment documentation) This is getting just a bit ridiculous, but you can't argue with the postal workers or they might just....well, go postal.

08-31-2006, 01:02 PM	#3
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	Pretty soon we won't be able to ship anything. Jeez. __________________ Chock-full of naughty goodness.

08-31-2006, 01:08 PM	#4
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	You'll have to put the perfume in a balloon up your ass. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

08-31-2006, 01:41 PM	#5
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Apparently, people were shipping perfume in large quantities to the Middle East, and that just pissed them off. Something about how they enjoyed the way their camels smelled, and we should, too. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

08-31-2006, 03:58 PM	#6
headsplice Relaxed Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Minneapolis Posts: 676	Easy solution: just lie. __________________ Don't Panic

08-31-2006, 12:45 PM	#2
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Perfume? What's it gonna' do? I lie about what goes into my postal packages all the time.

08-31-2006, 04:02 PM	#7
lulu with karate i'll kick your ass Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: NYC Posts: 53	That sucks. __________________ Hiya!

08-31-2006, 04:06 PM	#9
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Hey, the post office never promised you a rose garden... __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

08-31-2006, 09:46 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Probably flag perfume because of the flammable liquid thing. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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