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Old 12-06-2006, 05:53 PM   #1
Pangloss62
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Blue Vomit

OK. Let me start by saying that I already know that I'm an arrogant SOB. Really, I know that. But after what I saw the other night I must post.

I never liked the category "World Music." What the fuck music is not of this world? Why don't they call it what they really mean, which is "Non-Western Music?" I ask this because the other night I took a heaping, sticky-sweet and self-induced dose of Billboard Magazine's top World Music group: Celtic Women.



Jesus H. Christ! What a load of ersatz-mystical-New-Age bullshit. You gotta give the guy who put it together, David Downes, credit for hitting the schmaltzy nail on the head. He also worked on that Riverdance spectacle that never seemed to go away. You see, this is why a lot of people hate me; what they really like and think is "brilliant" and "inspiring" I find nearly intolerable. How can that many people like this crap?

The entire performance was like a bad "Mystical Moods of Ireland" calendar you might see in the discount bin after Christmas. It got really painful when they trotted out the Irish pipe player to add "authenticity" to the machine-generated misty veil of Irish fog that wafted over the fake heath. Oh my goodness. You should have seen the audience in awe of the spectacle, all smiling and mouthing the words to songs so incessantly positive and "uplifting" that I nearly puked. Why did I keep watching? I must be a masochist.

But I conclude, that like a whole bunch of this "World Music" shite, it's not really Non-Western at all. In fact, with all the theatrics, bombast, and overproduction, it was quintessentially Western, a product of a shrewd business plan that tapped into the sentimental and historically myopic minds of the great middlemass (think Yanni). It was held on the grounds of an Irish castle for Chrissakes! "Times must have been so great in the Dark Ages" I said to myself. "Everything was so blue, so beautiful, and so electrically amplified back then."

And the shame is that their voices were not so bad.

It's gonna be on PBS a whole bunch, so be forewarned.
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Old 12-06-2006, 06:03 PM   #2
Aliantha
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Hmmm...de ja vous here for me.

My boys did blue shits once. I got them these blue drinks for a treat and it just seemed to go straight through them.

Talk about weird. You can be sure I never bought anything even remotely like that stuff again.
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Old 12-06-2006, 06:05 PM   #3
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Thanks for the heads up, not that I spend much time on PBS. I once called myself a country music fan. But that little time I see CMT. Guess I'm like the joke about the guy who thought he was a cowboy and found out he was a lesbian. Money is the game.....
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Old 12-07-2006, 10:27 AM   #4
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Ummm, wasn't this in another thread? Can you import our comments or do I need to go searching?
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Old 12-07-2006, 10:31 AM   #5
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What bothers me is its just one more genre falling to the "you have to be really attractive to make music" game. Country started it.

Just...Yuck...that's all I can say.
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Old 12-07-2006, 10:53 AM   #6
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Celtic music should either be really sad or really perverted, and in both cases involves alot of drinking.
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Old 12-07-2006, 12:33 PM   #7
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In order to be classed as "World Music" doesn't it have to be "Third World (bonus points for Brown People) Music?" The Irish are about as excrutiatingly white as you can get.

Irish Music has gone seriously downhill since the totally not Irish Band, Celtic Storm, was in Titanic.
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Old 12-07-2006, 12:56 PM   #8
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How does one reconcile the existence of this group with a Panglossian worldview? They must be here for a reason, right?
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:32 PM   #9
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I don't know a lot of Celtic bands, but I have a couple of "North Sea Gas" albums. They're quite enjoyable.
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:40 PM   #10
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OK, pangloss fess up. Did you take anchorgirl to this thinking she'd be impressed but she wasn't? There's some serious bitterness here and I just can't help wondering.
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Old 12-07-2006, 03:53 PM   #11
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Hey, they're babes. Who cares if they can sing or play?

Talented people are everywhere, but talented people with nice hair and boobs get all the attention. Well, them, and talentless people with nice hair, boobs, and a great promotional package shoveling out the payola.
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Old 12-07-2006, 04:46 PM   #12
footfootfoot
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From left to right they are:
Rose Quartz Spice, Akashic Record Spice, Prana Spice, Auric Spice, and Kundalini Spice.

Let's give 'em a round of applause!
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Old 12-07-2006, 04:48 PM   #13
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This group does, indeed, make me sick.
They commit the wost sins any performer can, being boring & disingenuous.
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Old 12-07-2006, 05:43 PM   #14
Pangloss62
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Correct

Quote:
How does one reconcile the existence of this group with a Panglossian worldview? They must be here for a reason, right?
12-07-2006 02:33 PM
Dr. Pangloss would probably say that, if not for having watched Blue Vomit (Celtic Women), my ire would not have been raised to the point where I would have to vent my frustration on the Cellar, whereby I wouuld find out that a lot of other people agree that they are shite, giving me the sense of distiction from the hoi paloi that I desire. So, in the end, it remains the best of all possible worlds.

Quote:
OK, pangloss fess up. Did you take anchorgirl to this thinking she'd be impressed but she wasn't? There's some serious bitterness here and I just can't help wondering.
12-07-2006 03:32 PM
The bitterness is all directed at Celtic Women, not Carol Sparge, the "married" anchorgirl. No date. But there is always a chance that I might meet a fellow Celtic Woman hater.

My Brazilian "girlfriend" likes Michael Bolton, so I can put up with a lot.
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Old 12-07-2006, 05:47 PM   #15
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Quote:
My boys did blue shits once. I got them these blue drinks for a treat and it just seemed to go straight through them.
And that's got to be the best first response to a post I've read in a long time.
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