Driving Miss Daisy.

[Cloud]

Since I'm a very casual person, I generally encourage people to call me by my first name. But a certain percentage of people feel obligated to insert some type of honorific. So I often end up addressed as MizzLee.

It makes me feel weird, kinda creepy, like it's a subservient thing. Sometimes I get it from people I don't know, or even talk to on the phone--I got it from a state transportation Right of Way agent from Houston yesterday. Sometimes I get it from people I know--it took me years to break my son-in-law of the habit. He said it was a sign of respect for his elders.

I'm not that fucking elderly!

oh, and as for ma'am . . .

[BigV]

Sorry ma'am.

I *guarantee* it's my home training coming out.

Better too formal than too casual. But both sides have to be comfortable with it.

eta:

While we're at it, I don't like your signature. kthxbai

[DanaC]

I still find it weird when people adress me as Councillor. Feels even weirder introducing myself as Councillor ******. I tend to rattle through that bit and follow it quickly with my first name, as if to say 'but please call me Dana'




[eta] There are times when dealing with people over the age of 65, when I am slightly hesitant about using their first names. I know for some people it's simply impolite. But I would never consider using Miss before their first name. I would just use Miss with their surname.

[toranokaze]

If your older than the person in question you are their elder.

[SteveDallas]

I know what you mean, Cloud.. as the joke goes, when somebody says Mr. Dallas, I start looking for my dad!

My advice is to accept Ms. or Miss or whatever, plus your last name. Look at it as a gesture of courtesy, which is what it is 9 times out of 10. (I'm talking about people you run into at work. Your daughter needs to buy her husband a clue... implying, however indirectly, that you're over the hill is not good in-law schmoozing!!) Feel free to invite them to use your first name, but remember that in this day and age anybody who actually uses a title without being told to probably does it because they feel it's "proper," and they may actually feel MORE uncomfortable using your first name.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by DanaC

But I would never consider using Miss before their first name.

I think it's a Southern (U.S.A.) thing.

[monster]

I hate it when people tell their kids to call me Miss Monster or Mrs Beest without actually checking (a) what my name actually is and (b) if it's OK. I think that's discourteous. Also if people call me something and I correct them or tell them what I'd like to be called but they insist on repeating their error. That pisses me off. What's so tough about "your majesty, queen monster, supreme-being above all others"?

No-one has ma'am'd me for a while, or maybe I've stopped noticing. that was way weird when I first landed here (it's Madam in the UK and much less frequently used)

[DanaC]

I hate it when people tell their kids to call me Miss Monster or Mrs Beest without actually checking (a) what my name actually is and (b) if it's OK. I think that's discourteous.

Trouble is of course, that we all have different ideas of courtesy.

[Razzmatazz13]

I have alot of trouble calling my friend's parents by their first names as *I* feel that it's rude...but of course if they tell me they prefer it that way I get around it by...


only speaking to them when they're looking at me. I just *can't* do it, it feels wrong and makes me feel uncomfortable to call someone by their first name without having some sort of friendship with them personally. Even for kids my age I always wait until they've introduced themselves to me (even if someone else has already told me their name) before I use their first name to talk with them.

[lumberjim]

If I know your first name, I'll use it. Unless I'm pissed at you....then I might call you Mister so and so.

[Clodfobble]

I actually have a hard time using the first names of people I'm really close to, because it feels too formal. My husband is always "honey" or "sweetheart," and with all my friends I just say "Hey" to get their attention.

[Elspode]

I use honorific terms with people I do not know, and pretty much whatever I feel like using when I become familiar with them. I was raised with pretty formal manners training, but use them only in the most appropriate situations. The rest of the time I'm actually pretty coarse, on purpose.

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by monster

I hate it when people tell their kids to call me Miss Monster or Mrs Beest without actually checking (a) what my name actually is and (b) if it's OK.

My kids have standing orders to use title + last name for adults, especially in the case of people we don't know . . . .

Originally Posted by monster

Also if people call me something and I correct them or tell them what I'd like to be called but they insist on repeating their error.

. . . . but they are also supposed to use the first name when asked!

[DanaC]

I actually have a hard time using the first names of people I'm really close to, because it feels too formal. My husband is always "honey" or "sweetheart," and with all my friends I just say "Hey" to get their attention.

I'm a little like that. Everyone's 'chuck' in my conversations, or m'dear, or hon.

[Sundae]

I usually make up names for my close friends and family. It was useful in the days of landline only phones, because if I said, "Hello Stevo" to my brother for example, it could only be me.

I've surprised my friends and colleagues in the past when giving my details in a formal situation. Firstly, many of them don't know/ forget my correct first name is slightly different from the one they use, and they also forget I kept my married name when I divorced - they know my surname of course, but they expect me to be Miss. The combination of the two make them look at me as if I'm giving fraudulent information.