Kid's height

[binky]

My 12 year old daughter is 4'5" and one of the shortest kids in her grade. She weighs 45 lbs, so is propotioned well for her height, although a little on the thin side. She has had all the tests etc, since she has been below 0 on the growth curves charts for years. It has only started to bother her since she has been in middle school and been around girls who have already hit puberty. Any advice for how to cheer her up, and any stories about kids who suddenly shot up in height? She chose the crying guy btw

[lookout123]

I'm not now, nor ever was a girl to the best of my knowledge. I was however very short compared to my peers. I didn't hit 5' or 100 lbs til the end of my freshman year in high school. I graduated at 5'6" and 119 lbs. 6 months later I finished boot camp at 5'9" and 155 lbs. Tell her to relax. Stressing about it won't change anything anyway.

[kerosene]

I was the smallest kid in class up until about my freshman year. Even until I graduated I was small. People always thought I was younger than I was and my parents even made me lie about my age and eat off the kids' menu up until I was around 16 (how mortifying!) It sucked, back then, but I did mature, eventually, and I suppose it probably kept me out of trouble...for a time (I didn't drink or party until I went to college. How can you get away with underage drinking when you look 12??) But, the good news is, that I think I have remained "young looking" even until now. I often get comments that people don't think I look my age. Perhaps your daughter has that same sort of "trait" that will carry into her older years. If so, she will be thankful.

Also, (and yeah, it is probably way too early to approach this benefit of smallness) if she turns out to be a girl who doesn't date boys who are shorter than her, she will have a larger selection to choose from.

[Cloud]

cheer up a 12 year old? are you insane? they're un-cheerupable for the next several years.

[binky]

thanks guys, I'll pass this along to her, and you are right Case, about the dating thing, I am only 5'3 and most guys seem to prefer shorter women, although we are a long way from her dating (I HOPE),and yes Cloud you are right, although she does have her cheery moments, and a really wicked sense of humor, a lot like mine (much to her dad's dismay)

[Cloud]

it's not as if you can do much about it, really--she's going to be the height she's going to be. If she remains petite--well, there's nothing wrong with that.

Just love her and support her, and tell her she's beautiful and great at any height.

[binky]

We absolutely do that

[monster]

Originally Posted by Cloud

cheer up a 12 year old? are you insane? they're un-cheerupable for the next several years.

As long as her height/weight are reasonably in proportion and increasing -albeit slowly- you're right, there's no need to worry.

As for making her feel better -my observation is that girls who hit puberty earlier have a harder time of it. Physically, they seem more awkward and mentally it tend sto make them more uncomfortable. The later it comes, the easier it should be. But this is based on no medical evidence whatsoever -just on the observations of the girls at my kids' school and vague memories from childhood. Also, the lack of physical awkwardness can help girls who are late into puberty excel at sports where speed and agility are the key. Being good at something physical can make you feel better about your body too.

Oh, and babybinky, if you're having trouble finding trendy clothes that are slim enough, hit the second hand stores. there you can find new, fashionable stuff outside the regular sizes. my kids are all thin and we find great stuff there -for my daughtter (who is 10, but needs size 7/8) we find jeans in size 10-12 which are way smaller than a 10-12 on the waist, but the right length and with the tags still on. Presumably people buy them without trying them on, find they were made too small and can't be bothered returning them.

[LabRat]

I'm was a late bloomer/young looking for my age/shortie. At 15, I hated it. At 32, I love it. What better excuse to go over and talk to that cute guy then to ask him to get you something you can't reach? (Not that I ever do that anymore. . . ) One advantage too, is that any guys who show an interest probably actually are interested in you, not your blooming body. Now is also a good time to foster other talents to boost self your esteem. "I may not be hotter than 'her' but I can outrun/outswim/get better grades/draw better" etc.

Good luck!

[Sundae]

Binky I will post a photo later today or tomorrow. I was short, skinny and basically looked 2-5 years younger than my schoolmates right up until the age of 15 - practically the end of mandatory school attendance in this country.

Kids can be cruel - to eachother, to their friends and even to their family.
Keep reassuring her she is perfect no matter what she looks like. Puberty is a big benchmark, but she needs to feel comfortable with her looks even if she feels she is childish compared to her friends.

For the time being I suggest find her small and feisty role models in the media, online, among your friends etc to prove to her that small can be powerful.

I hit puberty very late, but the great thing was that before I did, I was taken under the wing of an older, punkier girl who HAD been through puberty but was not much taller than me and with not much larger breasts. When I realised that she was uber-cool without the height and breasts I longed for it helped me re-address my attitude towards my own appearance.

The fact that I ended up just above 5'7" with C-D cup knockers was less of a change in my life than that realisation. But perhaps I only became comfortable with myself because of maturity anyway.

Ah well - I'll post the photo later anyway. Just keep reassuring her you love her and keep boosting her self esteem to shrug off any teasing in future.

[Sundae]

Here we go.
This is me in 1985. The girl next to me is my French exchange student. She is actually younger than me.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Kids can be cruel - to each other, to their friends and even to their family.

I found if you kill one or two, the rest will leave you alone.

[binky]

Thanks everyone for the great feedback. She doesn't have trouble with clothes too much; as far as developing other talents, she draws really cool comic strips, makes stop motion animation videos, plays an instrument, and rides a dirtbike, in addition to being a girl scout. It is just those cruel bitchy girls who pick on her, and one tried to get invited to her recent birthday party, even after all the picking on her. Kate told her she could come if she would be the pinata! I think most of it is just small town middle school hellishness, and we will support her through all of it, and I know she will be just fine

[binky]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I found if you kill one or two, the rest will leave you alone.

Kate says thanks for the tip

[binky]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Here we go.
This is me in 1985. The girl next to me is my French exchange student. She is actually younger than me.

So I showed her this pic, and then the boob one you posted, and she said "Oh wow!"