Junk Mail

xoxoxoBruce · 04-17-2008, 08:17 PM

What do you do with junk mail? Stick it in the postage paid reply envelope and mail it back?
Here's how to go one better.

Quote:

You know those obnoxious "refinance your home" or credit card scams offers that you get in the mail? This is called direct marketing, where marketers use a reduced bulk postal rate to send entire forests of paper mail to you.

Plenty of people think its cute to put the postage-paid envelopes back into the mail as revenge. But really, that's a real pussy way of dealing with it. I decided to take it to the next level.

Find a shoebox, or a storage bin, or any cardboard box you have laying around. Fill it up with bricks, big blocks of iron, or maybe cement. Tape the box up with everyday packaging tape. Use a junkmail's postage-paid envelope and tape it neatly to the top cover of the box. NEATLY. And mail it off. Envelope revenge!

A few days later, your package shows up at the junk mailer's location, and they have to pay for every cent of delivery. Once the cost outweighs the benefit, they will stop sending out direct mail marketing material. And that is my goal.

xiphos · 04-17-2008, 08:39 PM

Hmmm... I'm getting an idea...

monster · 04-17-2008, 08:41 PM

If direct marketing via mail stops, will the prce of regular postage go up even more, though?

I'd prefer to mail them fish scraps and the like if I were to go to the effort of preparing a package.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-17-2008, 08:45 PM

That's illegal.

monster · 04-17-2008, 08:49 PM

and.....?

most envelopes don't have identifying codes on them

SteveDallas · 04-17-2008, 11:04 PM

It won't get delivered.

lumberjim · 04-18-2008, 12:49 AM

so, using an envelope as a label doesn't fly..... you could fill the envelope with a sheet of glass, or roof tile? or just rip it in half and chuck it in the recyle bin.

I have a po box, and my post office has 3 bins for that shit. i get a ton though. moslty catalogues and mortgage companies
New Day Mortgage mails shit to both of us weekly. wtf.

that's not to mention all the offers from GQ for me to pose on the cover. sheesh.

Undertoad · 04-18-2008, 07:50 AM

It's actually illegal to mail a brick or other large weighty item with a postage-prepaid mailer, and the target company is not charged the postage for it. In fact they don't even get it, it's treated as waste by the post office.

Source: The Straight Dope

I am happy to help you all comply with the law.

HungLikeJesus · 04-18-2008, 08:37 AM

But that was 1984. I'm surprised it's not been updated.

glatt · 04-18-2008, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

so, using an envelope as a label doesn't fly..... you could fill the envelope with a sheet of glass, or roof tile?

I know of a roofer who used to save small scraps of lead flashing (thin sheet metal) to slip into those envelopes. They fit perfectly, and would add some heft.

xoxoxoBruce · 04-18-2008, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

It won't get delivered.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

It's actually illegal to mail a brick or other large weighty item with a postage-prepaid mailer, and the target company is not charged the postage for it. In fact they don't even get it, it's treated as waste by the post office.

Source: The Straight Dope

I am happy to help you all comply with the law.

But, but, but, it was on the intarweb.

monster · 04-18-2008, 11:51 PM

xob, you are suffering from anitsnopivitis. Take two lolcats and call me in the morning.

Undertoad · 04-19-2008, 07:46 AM

Sorry SD, didn't see yours before I posted mine! I suck!

xoxoxoBruce · 04-19-2008, 06:25 PM

Balderdash, you were just ganging up on me.:p

SteveDallas · 04-19-2008, 10:48 PM

Now, would we do that?

04-17-2008, 08:39 PM	#2
xiphos Bryan. Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jupiter, Florida Posts: 63	Hmmm... I'm getting an idea... __________________ "Imagine closing your eyes, and then once you open them, everything you took for granted was not." - Chuck Schuldiner

04-17-2008, 08:41 PM	#3
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	If direct marketing via mail stops, will the prce of regular postage go up even more, though? I'd prefer to mail them fish scraps and the like if I were to go to the effort of preparing a package. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-17-2008, 08:45 PM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	That's illegal. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

04-17-2008, 08:49 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	and.....? most envelopes don't have identifying codes on them __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-18-2008, 12:49 AM	#7
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	so, using an envelope as a label doesn't fly..... you could fill the envelope with a sheet of glass, or roof tile? or just rip it in half and chuck it in the recyle bin. I have a po box, and my post office has 3 bins for that shit. i get a ton though. moslty catalogues and mortgage companies New Day Mortgage mails shit to both of us weekly. wtf. that's not to mention all the offers from GQ for me to pose on the cover. sheesh. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

04-17-2008, 11:04 PM	#6
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	It won't get delivered.

04-18-2008, 07:50 AM	#8
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	It's actually illegal to mail a brick or other large weighty item with a postage-prepaid mailer, and the target company is not charged the postage for it. In fact they don't even get it, it's treated as waste by the post office. Source: The Straight Dope I am happy to help you all comply with the law.

04-18-2008, 08:37 AM	#9
HungLikeJesus Only looks like a disaster tourist Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: above 7,000 feet Posts: 7,208	But that was 1984. I'm surprised it's not been updated. __________________ Keep Your Bodies Off My Lawn SteveDallas's Random Thread Picker.

04-18-2008, 11:51 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	xob, you are suffering from anitsnopivitis. Take two lolcats and call me in the morning. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

04-19-2008, 07:46 AM	#13
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Sorry SD, didn't see yours before I posted mine! I suck!

04-19-2008, 06:25 PM	#14
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Balderdash, you were just ganging up on me.:p __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

04-19-2008, 10:48 PM	#15
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Now, would we do that?

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