Sex With A Stranger...?

[Sundae]

I discovered Craigslist thanks to the Cellar.
It's not used as much here as it is in the States, in fact many of the posters in the personals are Americans coming to Britain and looking to hook up.

It's put me in a bit of a quandry.
My libido is waking up.
I would quite like to have sex. Yes - rereading and reconsidering that sentence I realise I do want sex. And all the rest of the gubbins that goes with it.

Now I don't have to be in love to have sex. I really enjoy it as an activity in its own right. And I don't want to face rejection (not good for the ego in these first, fragile, early stages) so I would post my own ad, with description and pictures*, so men know what they're getting before even responding.

*ETA - thinking about it, I would NOT have my picture on the website. But I would offer to send it in return.

So that sounds like I've got it all worked out, right?
I'm going to post my details and have sex with a stranger.

But I find myself stuck on one really important point.
I can only have sex with someone I fancy.
I'm not sure if I can tell whether I fancy someone before meeting.
And even then, will the pressure of expectation kill any mood?
Also I am attracted to confident, outgoing, ambitious men.
Would they be the sort of men looking for sex on Craigslist?
Hmmmm, scrap that - I think they would, sex is sex after all!

Any thoughts on any of the above?

[Cloud]

Okay, I'm going to respond. There's nothing wrong with sex just for sex, if it fits within your personal comfort zone, as long as you don't read more into it than that.

When I was 40, I thought I'd never have sex again in my life. Then, at 41, I lost 90 pounds. My libido was "waking up," as you say. I swore I was going to have sex again before the end of the year--and I did. I made my goal of double digits (did I mention I was shallow?--me and 'spode, wading in those waters, yeah!). I had fun.

Ultimately, of course, I didn't have that much fun--I never have found a partner that is my match (plus, I eventually over the course of several years, gained most of the weight back). But I was satisfied at the time. (ha!).

As far as the craiglist, "stranger" part--I have met people online this way, and at bars. There are advantages to each method--if online, you can exchange emails, and phone calls if you want, to see if you like the personality, but you miss the physical aspect. In a bar (or someplace else where you meet the person in the flesh) you get to access your chemistry, but not so much the personality.

So, it's fun for a while, but be careful! be safe!

[Sheldonrs]

Go for it. But be sure to INSIST they send you a recent photo.
You'd be amazed at how many people think "Swimmers build" includes being built like a whale and "toned" means they can hide behind a pencil. And "Movie Star looks" can also include Lassie and Godzilla!

[smoothmoniker]

Go to gmail, create a brand new email account specifically for these contacts. Don't use if for anything else. If things get weird, you want your sole contact infowith the person to be a disposable email address.

Build yourself a little "assholes and crazies" buffer zone around the rest of your life.

[Cloud]

oh, and when you meet someone like that, make sure you meet in a public place, and tell your friends who, when, and where.

[Aliantha]

Yeah and then have sex in a public place too.

I think you'll have fun with this mate. Good on you I say!

[DucksNuts]

As someone who has done this (adult friend finder) and still does this....go for it Sundae.

The way I work, spend a bit of time getting to know your prospective bonk buddy...go out for dinner and then you can take it from there.

I used to pick up strays all the time at pubs and I think the internet is much better.

I agree with SM, keep a LOT private...dont give them too much.

[Aliantha]

I agree. The internet is much better for screening, specially since you can do your screening when you're sober. lol

[Elspode]

Also, keep in mind that, just because you agree to meet someone (*always, without exception, in a public place*), doesn't automatically mean they are entitled to sex. You can take your time and meet people until you find one you actually fancy so that it isn't a completely hollow fuck.

You're getting good advice here, SG. Please, for the love of all that is unholy, *safety first*. We couldn't stand it if something bad happened to you.

[Cicero]

At our age, use protection, and do it....Fu**ers. Do it. Use protection and use them for minced meat, as I don't care. You have a biological clock to attend to, so use protection and do what you want!! Many a man would kill for your company...Judgeing from your photos in the lingerie so would I. So have as much conscienable fun as you can.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

But I find myself stuck on one really important point.

or, you'd like to anyway....

[nowhereman]

Just remember - some are stranger than others

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Cloud

Okay, I'm going to respond. There's nothing wrong with sex just for sex, if it fits within your personal comfort zone, as long as you don't read more into it than that.

What she said. I don't think that sex for sex is a bad thing as long as all parties involved know the score and everything is honestly on the table. There is nothing wrong with feeding the dragon. If you want a relationship that is cool too but don't fool yourself into thinking that he/she is looking for the same thing unless you talk about it. Some people can't drop the guilt thing and just enjoy themselves and their bodies and share the sexuality and exchange of intimacy without some deeper emotional attachment. Others can and there is nothing wrong with that either.

[footfootfoot]

It's been almost two days, have you gotten laid yet?

[Elspode]

Perhaps she's *still* getting laid?