What Texans need

xoxoxoBruce · 10-01-2008, 03:47 AM

I found out my boss is being transfered to Texas, and I'd like to get him a going away gift. I figured I'd get him something that would be helpful to assimilate to Texas life.

So far I've come up with a Rattlesnake bite kit, and a Philadelphia Eagles shit.
Any suggestions?

ZenGum · 10-01-2008, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

So far I've come up with a Rattlesnake bite kit, and a Philadelphia Eagles shit.

Did you drop this

Quote:

r

by mistake?

Bullitt · 10-01-2008, 04:57 AM

Roadkill BBQ Sauce

Makes them there Armadillers taste mighty fine.

10-01-2008, 05:06 AM

Having lived in San Antonio (home of the Alamo) for several years, I found that state history is big in the educational system there. Natives refer to themselves as "Texians." The term "Texan" is what Hollywood adopted. I recommend printing out something like this excerpt and putting it in an 8"x10" frame for your boss:

"Texian" refers to the Anglo settlers of Tejas y Coahuila and It's what they called themselves! This piece was originally in the New Orleans Bee then reprinted in TELEGRAPH AND TEXAS REGISTER on November 7, 1835:

"The proper name for the people of Texas seems to be a matter of doubt or contrariety: some calling the Texians, while others speak or write Texans, Texonians, Texasians, Texicans. We believe that, both by the Mexican and American residents of the country, the name commonly used is Texians; the Mexicans giving it the guttural sound of the Spanish language, as indicated sometimes by x and sometimes by j, Teghians. The sound is not used in the present mode of speaking the English language, although the Irish use it in the word lough, and the Scotch in loch, a lake. The nearest approximation is in such words as Christ. Texians is, therefore, the correct name of the people of Texas; and besides being short, it is perfectly analogous to the usual mode of forming the proper name of nations by the termination in n; as Greece, Grecian Persia, Persian. It may also be considered the euphonious abbreviation of Texasian. But Texonian and Texasite are absurd epithets."

The name "Tejano" makes the distinction of an indigenous citizen of Hispanic origin.

--The Editor"

Otherwise, a book on the indigenous history is good too. Something like:

Texian Iliad: A Military History of the Texas Revolution

Texians are proud of their history.

Sundae · 10-01-2008, 05:20 AM

Talcum powder. For his sweaty ball-bag.

sweetwater · 10-01-2008, 07:47 AM

When we first talked about moving here I told Mr. Sweetwater what I needed to live here: high-speed Internet and satellite radio. Those might be hard to give a boss, though. You might find a book about the area history, restaurants, points of interest, that sort of thing if you know where the boss is moving.

xoxoxoBruce · 10-01-2008, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZenGum

Did you drop this by mistake?

Yes.

Flint · 10-01-2008, 09:42 AM

This bumper sticker:

Trilby · 10-01-2008, 09:45 AM

It's obvious: a Big Hat.

Flint · 10-01-2008, 09:47 AM

Yeah, by the way, my family is from the country. As in, drilling for oil, having cattle, etc.

They don't wear "cowboy hats"

...If they want the sun out of their eyes, they wear a baseball cap like normal people.

Trilby · 10-01-2008, 09:50 AM

Oh, Flint. Nothing about your family is "normal," but I think it's cute that you try.

Flint · 10-01-2008, 10:13 AM

I said like normal people.

toranokaze · 10-01-2008, 01:38 PM

It depends on what part of Texas

South Texas - Spanish to English dictionary

North Texas- A snow shovel

East Texas- A "lynching" noose

Central Texas-A city map (and also piercing if Austin)

West Texas- an unabridged version of War and Peace

toranokaze · 10-01-2008, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoBoxes

Having lived in San Antonio

Texian Iliad: A Military History of the Texas Revolution

Texians are proud of their history.

Hahaha I had to buy that book for history at San Antonio Collage (SAC)

classicman · 10-01-2008, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by toranokaze

It depends on what part of Texas

South Texas - Spanish to English dictionary

North Texas- A snow shovel

East Texas- A "lynching" noose

Central Texas-A city map (and also piercing if Austin)

West Texas- an unabridged version of War and Peace

Wait a minute - Doesn't someone in Texas need a boat or a new house or something? Since Ike stopped by and all.

10-01-2008, 03:47 AM	#1
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	What Texans need I found out my boss is being transfered to Texas, and I'd like to get him a going away gift. I figured I'd get him something that would be helpful to assimilate to Texas life. So far I've come up with a Rattlesnake bite kit, and a Philadelphia Eagles shit. Any suggestions? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-01-2008, 04:57 AM	#3
Bullitt This is a fully functional babe lair Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Akron, OH Posts: 2,324	Roadkill BBQ Sauce Makes them there Armadillers taste mighty fine. __________________ Kiss my white Irish ass.

10-01-2008, 05:06 AM	#4
NoBoxes Guest Posts: n/a	Having lived in San Antonio (home of the Alamo) for several years, I found that state history is big in the educational system there. Natives refer to themselves as "Texians." The term "Texan" is what Hollywood adopted. I recommend printing out something like this excerpt and putting it in an 8"x10" frame for your boss: "Texian" refers to the Anglo settlers of Tejas y Coahuila and It's what they called themselves! This piece was originally in the New Orleans Bee then reprinted in TELEGRAPH AND TEXAS REGISTER on November 7, 1835: "The proper name for the people of Texas seems to be a matter of doubt or contrariety: some calling the Texians, while others speak or write Texans, Texonians, Texasians, Texicans. We believe that, both by the Mexican and American residents of the country, the name commonly used is Texians; the Mexicans giving it the guttural sound of the Spanish language, as indicated sometimes by x and sometimes by j, Teghians. The sound is not used in the present mode of speaking the English language, although the Irish use it in the word lough, and the Scotch in loch, a lake. The nearest approximation is in such words as Christ. Texians is, therefore, the correct name of the people of Texas; and besides being short, it is perfectly analogous to the usual mode of forming the proper name of nations by the termination in n; as Greece, Grecian Persia, Persian. It may also be considered the euphonious abbreviation of Texasian. But Texonian and Texasite are absurd epithets." The name "Tejano" makes the distinction of an indigenous citizen of Hispanic origin. --The Editor" Otherwise, a book on the indigenous history is good too. Something like: Texian Iliad: A Military History of the Texas Revolution Texians are proud of their history. Last edited by NoBoxes; 10-01-2008 at 05:19 AM. Reason: url error

10-01-2008, 05:20 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Talcum powder. For his sweaty ball-bag. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-01-2008, 07:47 AM	#6
sweetwater lives inside a Mobius strip Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 1,120	When we first talked about moving here I told Mr. Sweetwater what I needed to live here: high-speed Internet and satellite radio. Those might be hard to give a boss, though. You might find a book about the area history, restaurants, points of interest, that sort of thing if you know where the boss is moving. __________________ I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque! - Bugs Bunny

10-01-2008, 09:42 AM	#8
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	This bumper sticker: Attached Images __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-01-2008, 09:45 AM	#9
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	It's obvious: a Big Hat. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-01-2008, 09:47 AM	#10
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	Yeah, by the way, my family is from the country. As in, drilling for oil, having cattle, etc. They don't wear "cowboy hats" ...If they want the sun out of their eyes, they wear a baseball cap like normal people. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-01-2008, 09:50 AM	#11
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Oh, Flint. Nothing about your family is "normal," but I think it's cute that you try. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-01-2008, 10:13 AM	#12
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I said like normal people. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-01-2008, 01:38 PM	#13
toranokaze I'm still a jerk Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Little Mexico Posts: 1,817	It depends on what part of Texas South Texas - Spanish to English dictionary North Texas- A snow shovel East Texas- A "lynching" noose Central Texas-A city map (and also piercing if Austin) West Texas- an unabridged version of War and Peace __________________ "Without deviation from the norm progress is not possible." - Frank Zappa It is the ignorance of ignorance that lead to the death of knowledge The Virgin Mary does not weep for her son, for he is in paradise. She weeps for the world , for we are in suffering.

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