Are You White and Nerdy?

[ZenGum]

If you haven't heard the Weird Al Yankovic song White and Nerdy, behold:



So, based on this, let's find the whitest, nerdiest dwellar.

I've come up with a quiz from the lyrics and assigned points at my discretion, trying to give weighting that reflects the degree of nerdiness of each question.

Cut and past from here and give us your answers!

Do you have a front lawn? (5 points)
Do you mow it yourself? (5)

Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))

Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)

Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)

Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)

Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car?
(When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)

Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)

Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)

Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out?
(give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)

How much of Pi do you know?
(one point for each digit you know)

Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
(10 points for braces)

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
(0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)

My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
(0.2 points for each wpm you can type)

There's no killer app I haven't run
(1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)

At Pascal, well I'm number one
(can program in Pascal = 20 points)

Do vector calculus just for fun
(can do vector calculus = 20 points)

I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun
(-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)

Happy Days is my favorite theme song
(is it? 10 points!)

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(rate your pingers ability out of 10)

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(rate your trivia prowess out of 10)

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)

Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?

Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)

The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
(one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)

Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)

Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)

I edit Wikipedia
(have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)


I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)


I got a business doing websites (10 points)

Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)

I got myself a fanny pack (5)

Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
(two points per visit in the last year)

Got my name on my underwear (That's a 10)

[ZenGum]

Do you have a front lawn? (5 points)
Do you mow it yourself? (5)

Yes, then no = 5


Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))

First in subject ... 10

Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)

10 plus 3 = 13

Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)

Current desk calendar = 10 points!

Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)

Yup = 5

Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car?
(When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)

-5. Looks ashamed. chuckles.

Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)

0

Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)

Read it ... 10

Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out?
(give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)

Zippo = 0

How much of Pi do you know?
(one point for each digit you know)

+5

Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
(10 points for braces)

0

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
(0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)

0

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)

16.4 ... + 10 = 26.4

My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
(0.2 points for each wpm you can type)

Ohh, about 45 wpm, so ... 9.

There's no killer app I haven't run
(1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)

0

At Pascal, well I'm number one
(can program in Pascal = 20 points)

0

Do vector calculus just for fun
(can do vector calculus = 20 points)

0

I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun
(-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)

0

Happy Days is my favorite theme song
(is it? 10 points!)

0

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(rate your pingers ability out of 10)

7

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(rate your trivia prowess out of 10)

9

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)

0

Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?

0

Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)

0

The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
(one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)

0

Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)


0

Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)

0

I edit Wikipedia
(have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)

1

I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)

4

I got a business doing websites (10 points)

0

Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)

0

I got myself a fanny pack (5)

5

Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)

(not sayin!)

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)

Chess team = 10 points.

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)

Picard ... 5

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
(two points per visit in the last year)

0

Got my name on my underwear (That's a 10)

0

Total = 129.4 Whiteandnerdiness points.

[Cicero]

(((((Paging Glatt and Happy Monkey)))))

Missing question: Have you successfully ran an internet bulletin board for 19 years?

[Pie]

Do you have a front lawn? (5 points)
5
Do you mow it yourself? (5)
5

Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))
Never first, alas. 0

Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)
0 (thank god!)

Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)
10 Damn straight.

Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)
5

Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car?
(When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)
0

Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)
0

Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)
100 (I took several coursed on cosmology as an undergrad...)


Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out?
(give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)
5

How much of Pi do you know?
(one point for each digit you know)
3.14159265358979323846264
24

Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
(10 points for braces)
0 (is this currently?)

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
(0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)
3

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)
24

My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
(0.2 points for each wpm you can type)
fuckit, I'm not calculating that.

There's no killer app I haven't run
(1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)
right now -- only 2. How about on my pda? add another 30.

At Pascal, well I'm number one
(can program in Pascal = 20 points)
20 (woo! the first use I've had from Pascal since 1992!)

Do vector calculus just for fun
(can do vector calculus = 20 points)
20

I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun
(-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)
15

Happy Days is my favorite theme song
(is it? 10 points!)
0

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(rate your pingers ability out of 10)
7 (on the Wii, I'll kick your ass any day of the week.)

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(rate your trivia prowess out of 10)
6 (sports questions will flunk me)

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)
LISTEN UP, IT'S JAVASCRIPT, NOT JAVA!!!
13, (q'pla, gah, Sto-vo-kor)


Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?
0

Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)
0

The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
(one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)
2

Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)
0

Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)
10

I edit Wikipedia
(have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)
5

I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)
8

I got a business doing websites (10 points)
10

Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)
0

I got myself a fanny pack (5)
0

Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)
20

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)
5

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
(two points per visit in the last year)
0


A flat 300, if I've added correctly.

[bluecuracao]

Do you have a front lawn? (5 points) Do you mow it yourself? (5)

No and no

Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))

hahahahaha

Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)

I know what D&D stands for, but that's about it

Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)

Yes! 10 points

Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)

Yes, 5 points

Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car? (When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)

No car, no wheels to spin

Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)

Do Barbies count? I have like 8 of 'em. I can haz 40 points?

Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)

No

Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out? (give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)

No pimpiness

How much of Pi do you know? (one point for each digit you know)

3.14, 3 points

Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces (10 points for braces)

None

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise (0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)

Club sandwiches should have a little mayo on them, 1 point

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days (Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)

Um no

My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze (0.2 points for each wpm you can type)

6 points

There's no killer app I haven't run (1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)

0 points

At Pascal, well I'm number one (can program in Pascal = 20 points)

No

Do vector calculus just for fun (can do vector calculus = 20 points)

There are different kinds of calculus?!

I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun (-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)

There's a soldering gun in the house, but it's not mine, I swear

Happy Days is my favorite theme song (is it? 10 points!)

Well...no

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong (rate your pingers ability out of 10)

Probably 2 points

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on (rate your trivia prowess out of 10)

7 points

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon (Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)

I just learned a line of javascript this week! I'm so excited.

Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?

No

Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)

I have a few Spiderman comics from the 70s, four I think? 4 points

The pens in my pocket, I must protect them (one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)

I'm lucky if the one on my desk doesn't get stolen

Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)

No

Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)

What?

I edit Wikipedia (have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)

No

I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)

I only know "it's just a flesh wound!" .1 points?

I got a business doing websites (10 points)

Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)

I have made money doing work on websites, 2 points?

I got myself a fanny pack (5) No

Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)

I was on the chess team! 3 and 1/3 points?

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)

I like both, 10 points

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair (two points per visit in the last year)

Haven't been yet

Got my name on my underwear (That's a 10)

Mmmm, no

TOTAL: 93.433333 points

[monster]

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)

I was on the chess team! 3 and 1/3 points?

nerd fail

[bluecuracao]

oooops

[ZenGum]

Anyone who follows this quiz to the end is clearly a nerd. My apologies for the length, it was hell hot yesterday and I had nothing to do but fart about on the web.
I always suspected Pie was going to win this - which is kind of strange, that the whitest and nerdiest amongst us is an Indian-American female.

[monster]

I'm too cool to take the quiz, but if i did, how many points would I get for correcting other's responses?

[monster]

Originally Posted by ZenGum

Do you have a front lawn? (5 points)
Do you mow it yourself? (5)

10

Were you first in your class at school (10), college or university? (10 for first within your subject area, 20 for whole institution))

10

Have you played or do you play D&D? (10)
(Add one point for each level of each character that you have played in the last year, + 2d4-1 if you have the dice to roll with)

10

Is M.C. Escher your favourite M.C.? (10)

10

Do you like Earl Grey tea? (5)

5

Do you deliberately spin the wheels of your car?
(When I was younger -5 points, occasionally -10 points, frequently -15 points, in front of police -20 points)

Are your action figures Cherry? (five points for each pristine action figure in your possession)

Stephen Hawking's in my library (own it = 10 points, read it = 10 points, understood it = 100 points)

65 - read half of it, understood that but just because you know how sex works doesn't mean you get pregnant....so I stopped reading. to be on the safe side.......

Is your MySpace page all totally pimped out?
(give yourself a score out of 20 for the degree of pimpiness of your myspace, facebook, or other social networking site. Since you're white and nerdy, you'll be honest.)

1

How much of Pi do you know?
(one point for each digit you know)

4

Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
(10 points for braces)

I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
(0.1 points multiplied by the percentage of your sandwiches that you order with mayonnaise)

15 I'm taking extra points here -I don't order sandwiches, I brown bag,and they all have mayonnaise

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)

50

My fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
(0.2 points for each wpm you can type)

14

There's no killer app I haven't run
(1 point for every app downloaded to your phone)

At Pascal, well I'm number one
(can program in Pascal = 20 points)

20

Do vector calculus just for fun
(can do vector calculus = 20 points)

20

I ain't got a gat, but I got a soldering gun
(-5 points for every gun you own, gain five points for every soldering gun you own)

10

Happy Days is my favorite theme song
(is it? 10 points!)

I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
(rate your pingers ability out of 10)

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
(rate your trivia prowess out of 10)

6

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)

Have you ridden (5 points) or owned (20 points) a segway?

Do you collect comics? (one point for each comic in your possession)

The pens in my pocket, I must protect them
(one point for each pen in your pocket on an average workday, 10 points for a pocket protector)

14 (without protection!)

Is your keyboard ergonomic? (5 points)

Do you shop online for deals on some writable media? (10)

10

I edit Wikipedia
(have made minor changes = 1 point, have made substantial changes = 5 points, have created a new article = 10 points)

1

I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you R-O-T-F-L-O-L
(I'm getting bored with this points thing. Score out of ten in this regard, okay?)

25

I got a business doing websites (10 points)

Even made a homepage for my dog, (10 points)

I got myself a fanny pack (5)

Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop, pop - hope no one sees me gettin' freaky (you weirdo!)

I was in AV club and glee club
And even the chess team (10 points for each)

Only question I ever thought was hard
Was "Do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?"
(Five points for having an opinion on this, 10 for being unable to decide)

10

Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Fair
(two points per visit in the last year)

Got my name on my underwear (That's a 10)

310! I outnerded Pie, but only because I gave myself bonus points on the Holy Grail

[ZenGum]

Quote:

I'm a wiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
(Start with 1,000, subtract your best time in seconds at the expert level of minesweeper, divide by 50) (add ten points if you just calculated your score on this question in your head)


50

Monnie, 1,000 / 50 is 20. You must have completed the expert level of minesweeper in MINUS 1,500 seconds to get a score of 50 on this. I suspect you are stretching the truth.
I also suspect you did the sums in your head. You only get the bonus points if you did them correctly. :p

[monster]

Originally Posted by ZenGum

Monnie, 1,000 / 50 is 20. You must have completed the expert level of minesweeper in MINUS 1,500 seconds to get a score of 50 on this. I suspect you are stretching the truth.
I also suspect you did the sums in your head. You only get the bonus points if you did them correctly. :p

erm... does my bum look big in this thread?
I can't remember what numbers minsweeper produces.... I got bored with it forever ago. I totally fail as a nerd (I cheated on the Mayo question too)

[ZenGum]

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Pie

I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
(Skilled at java? 10 points! And one point per Klingon word known)
LISTEN UP, IT'S JAVASCRIPT, NOT JAVA!!!
13, (q'pla, gah, Sto-vo-kor)

Sun Microsystems launched the Java and JavaScript programming languages in 1995.

[Pie]

Yes, but the question was in relation to Javascript, not Java. Believe you me, they are two completely different languages.

I also should have gotten +120 (not +100) for Hawking -- I own, have read, and have understood. Plus 55 wpm for the typing.

So that's 375. :p