Mutual Enjoyment Sex Question....

jmf · 03-07-2003, 10:13 AM

I'm in need of some advice about bringing up different and potentially embarrassing sexual topics with my S.O. I don't really feel like giving all the personal details, so I'll use a hypothetical situation... If I had an interest in having my GF change the oil in my car, and I was fairly certain that she wouldn't naturally be open to this idea, and that she might even be offended if it were brought up in a brusk or otherwise inconsiderate manner, how would you recommend I begin discussing it. We're talking about a serious long-term relationship here, so I'm not worried about a quick solution... I'm assuming that taking my time and being patient are a part of the basic package. I realize this sounds rather obtuse, but if anyone has any thoughts, it would be much appreciated.

03-07-2003, 10:15 AM

You wanna fuck her in the ass, right?

jmf · 03-07-2003, 10:45 AM

nope... and I'd rather not play this guessing game with you guys. If you have any advice, it would be much appreciated.

perth · 03-07-2003, 10:53 AM

Quote:

I'd rather not play this guessing game with you guys.

oh, please?

seriously, your title says it all. mutual. you should feel free to be open and honest with your s.o. about what deviant things you want to do. but make for damn sure youre open to doing whatever freaky stuff you never knew she liked.

communication is key, and make sure that youre willing to reciprocate.

a good trick is to get her talking about what she wants first (and again, being open to it and willing to try) and then start sharing what you want. its not a dirty trick, because likely theres things shes interested in but is nervous about mentioning.

~james

jmf · 03-07-2003, 11:04 AM

that's pretty much what I figured... I just don't know. I've raised the topic of her fantasies and so forth and it's looking like an uphill battle. I'd actually really enjoy trying new things that she suggests but she has not been particularly forthcoming as yet. Part of the problem is that she ALWAYS gets off a couple of times via the standard channels... I don't want to interupt that, but I can understand the lack of motivation in trying something new. She also tends to be a little embarrassed about discussing this stuff. A female friend of mine offered that it may be the result of a mental conflict between the new-age-feminist ideal about how a woman should think of herself in a relationship and the natural feminine feelings about being a woman and enjoying sex and being sexy.

I'm workin' on it...

03-07-2003, 11:08 AM

Golden showers?

jmf · 03-07-2003, 11:13 AM

Dave - OK... you really want to know... We saw your Mom's ad and we want to hire her... the only thing is that my GF wants her to come alone and I wanted her to bring the horse too...

03-07-2003, 11:16 AM

Yeh, my mom's dead, so nice try. Fuckface.

jmf · 03-07-2003, 11:16 AM

awww... I'm really sorry to hear that... guess you don't like people fucking with you either...

03-07-2003, 11:28 AM

She's not really dead. Geez!

I'm not fucking with you, really. I just didn't feel like beating around the bush.

I've had success getting people to do what I want because I'm a manipulative bastard. And I'm willing to teach you how to be one too!

But really all I want is a little something back. You're asking people to share with you, but you don't really wanna share. And I was just trying to open some dialog on you. Granted, it maybe wasn't the most... uh, tactful... way of bringing it about.

By the way... Ponce deLeon, constantly on.

Undertoad · 03-07-2003, 11:32 AM

Being serious now, if you do convince her to go for this particular thing, won't you just want the NEXT thing?

Is it really the inability to have this thing that makes it a forbidden fruit to you and thus more intriguing?

I dunno, just throwing stuff out.

03-07-2003, 11:35 AM

It is, by the way.

With one girlfriend (not the current), I wanted to try... BUTTFUCKING!

So we did it like five or six times. And then never again. It was great and everything, but could never be as good as I imagined it to be.

Because it's forbidden, it's that much more exciting. Once you do it, it doesn't seem nearly as cool (unfortunately).

jmf · 03-07-2003, 11:43 AM

I'm not too worried about "the next thing..." I have one thing in mind. And I should have cleared this up earlier... I have participated in this activity in the past with others and would like to again... AND... This is something I want her to do to me, not the other way around. BTW... thanks for the feedback, keep it comin'... except you dave...

...the fountain of youth, not Robotron...

03-07-2003, 11:44 AM

Finger in the ass.

jmf · 03-07-2003, 11:48 AM

dude - I told you...

It's ALL about your Mom...

and the horse....

03-07-2003, 10:13 AM	#1
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	Mutual Enjoyment Sex Question.... I'm in need of some advice about bringing up different and potentially embarrassing sexual topics with my S.O. I don't really feel like giving all the personal details, so I'll use a hypothetical situation... If I had an interest in having my GF change the oil in my car, and I was fairly certain that she wouldn't naturally be open to this idea, and that she might even be offended if it were brought up in a brusk or otherwise inconsiderate manner, how would you recommend I begin discussing it. We're talking about a serious long-term relationship here, so I'm not worried about a quick solution... I'm assuming that taking my time and being patient are a part of the basic package. I realize this sounds rather obtuse, but if anyone has any thoughts, it would be much appreciated. __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

03-07-2003, 10:45 AM	#3
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	nope... and I'd rather not play this guessing game with you guys. If you have any advice, it would be much appreciated. __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

03-07-2003, 11:04 AM	#5
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	that's pretty much what I figured... I just don't know. I've raised the topic of her fantasies and so forth and it's looking like an uphill battle. I'd actually really enjoy trying new things that she suggests but she has not been particularly forthcoming as yet. Part of the problem is that she ALWAYS gets off a couple of times via the standard channels... I don't want to interupt that, but I can understand the lack of motivation in trying something new. She also tends to be a little embarrassed about discussing this stuff. A female friend of mine offered that it may be the result of a mental conflict between the new-age-feminist ideal about how a woman should think of herself in a relationship and the natural feminine feelings about being a woman and enjoying sex and being sexy. I'm workin' on it... __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

03-07-2003, 11:13 AM	#7
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	Dave - OK... you really want to know... We saw your Mom's ad and we want to hire her... the only thing is that my GF wants her to come alone and I wanted her to bring the horse too... __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

03-07-2003, 11:16 AM	#9
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	awww... I'm really sorry to hear that... guess you don't like people fucking with you either... __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange. Last edited by jmf; 03-07-2003 at 11:21 AM.

03-07-2003, 10:15 AM	#2
dave Guest Posts: n/a	You wanna fuck her in the ass, right?

03-07-2003, 11:08 AM	#6
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Golden showers?

03-07-2003, 11:28 AM	#10
dave Guest Posts: n/a	She's not really dead. Geez! I'm not fucking with you, really. I just didn't feel like beating around the bush. I've had success getting people to do what I want because I'm a manipulative bastard. And I'm willing to teach you how to be one too! But really all I want is a little something back. You're asking people to share with you, but you don't really wanna share. And I was just trying to open some dialog on you. Granted, it maybe wasn't the most... uh, tactful... way of bringing it about. By the way... Ponce deLeon, constantly on.

03-07-2003, 11:32 AM	#11
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Being serious now, if you do convince her to go for this particular thing, won't you just want the NEXT thing? Is it really the inability to have this thing that makes it a forbidden fruit to you and thus more intriguing? I dunno, just throwing stuff out.

03-07-2003, 11:35 AM	#12
dave Guest Posts: n/a	It is, by the way. With one girlfriend (not the current), I wanted to try... BUTTFUCKING! So we did it like five or six times. And then never again. It was great and everything, but could never be as good as I imagined it to be. Because it's forbidden, it's that much more exciting. Once you do it, it doesn't seem nearly as cool (unfortunately).

03-07-2003, 11:43 AM	#13
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	I'm not too worried about "the next thing..." I have one thing in mind. And I should have cleared this up earlier... I have participated in this activity in the past with others and would like to again... AND... This is something I want her to do to me, not the other way around. BTW... thanks for the feedback, keep it comin'... except you dave... ...the fountain of youth, not Robotron... __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

03-07-2003, 11:44 AM	#14
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Finger in the ass.

03-07-2003, 11:48 AM	#15
jmf live from your moms house Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Your mom's house... Posts: 16	dude - I told you... *It's ALL* about your Mom...** and the horse.... __________________ Dropping science like galileo dropped the orange.

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