How much is too much?

Jakeline · 03-11-2003, 08:26 PM

Okay, I'm going to spill my guts here, because I'm looking for a truly independant, outside opinion. I've asked my husband and friends for advice, but of course, they're going to side with me. So let's get on with it, shall we? I'm a really nice person. I think I'm too nice. That's my question. How much forgiveness / turning the other cheek is too much? At what point does one turn from being a nice person to being a pushover?

Exhibit A:
I take ballroom dancing. The teacher is a sexist asshole. Long story short, he pissed me off, I shot him a dirty look because he was being a dick, and he looked at my husband and said, "Look, she's getting sensitive." Instead of chewing him out, I sucked it up, and walked out of the class a few minutes later. He said, "You'll be back next week?" I simply said, "No." I wrote a letter to the city (this class is through the city) that was very well tempered and even handed. I stuck to the facts and was very fair about it.

Exhibit B:
My brother's wife anonymously wrote something very rude about me on a website. I wrote to my brother saying how hurt I was, and asked if he thought she was just being funny or she really felt that way. He forwarded the email to her, and she wrote a 4 page diatribe defending her actions. Instead of picking her email to shreds, I told her that I was over it (which I'm really not), I didn't want to talk about it (with her), and I wouldn't tell my sisters about the site (she said nasty things about them as well, and my sisters would not behave in such an even-mannered way.) I keep telling myself that she's not worth my time.

Exhibit C:
One of my husbands' friends is an asshole. He ignores me in conversation and when I add something to the conversation, he'll answer my question or comment while looking at my husband. He's also made some insulting remarks about my looks and intellegence. (He never makes these comments around my husband, because he would kick his ass.) Luckily, this jackass is only around once or twice a year. I've never said a damn thing back to him, rationalizing that he isn't worth my time.

So, whaddya think? Do I need to grow a pair and stop letting people treat me like shit? Or will my turning the other cheek serve me better in the long run?

Oh, and does anyone know how to make some really good voodoo dolls?

03-11-2003, 08:26 PM	#1
Jakeline Disorderly Orderly Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 54	How much is too much? Okay, I'm going to spill my guts here, because I'm looking for a truly independant, outside opinion. I've asked my husband and friends for advice, but of course, they're going to side with me. So let's get on with it, shall we? I'm a really nice person. I think I'm too nice. That's my question. How much forgiveness / turning the other cheek is too much? At what point does one turn from being a nice person to being a pushover? Exhibit A: I take ballroom dancing. The teacher is a sexist asshole. Long story short, he pissed me off, I shot him a dirty look because he was being a dick, and he looked at my husband and said, "Look, she's getting sensitive." Instead of chewing him out, I sucked it up, and walked out of the class a few minutes later. He said, "You'll be back next week?" I simply said, "No." I wrote a letter to the city (this class is through the city) that was very well tempered and even handed. I stuck to the facts and was very fair about it. Exhibit B: My brother's wife anonymously wrote something very rude about me on a website. I wrote to my brother saying how hurt I was, and asked if he thought she was just being funny or she really felt that way. He forwarded the email to her, and she wrote a 4 page diatribe defending her actions. Instead of picking her email to shreds, I told her that I was over it (which I'm really not), I didn't want to talk about it (with her), and I wouldn't tell my sisters about the site (she said nasty things about them as well, and my sisters would not behave in such an even-mannered way.) I keep telling myself that she's not worth my time. Exhibit C: One of my husbands' friends is an asshole. He ignores me in conversation and when I add something to the conversation, he'll answer my question or comment while looking at my husband. He's also made some insulting remarks about my looks and intellegence. (He never makes these comments around my husband, because he would kick his ass.) Luckily, this jackass is only around once or twice a year. I've never said a damn thing back to him, rationalizing that he isn't worth my time. So, whaddya think? Do I need to grow a pair and stop letting people treat me like shit? Or will my turning the other cheek serve me better in the long run? Oh, and does anyone know how to make some really good voodoo dolls?

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