My trip to the gay bar. The reason why I have homophobic tendencies.

San Francisco is known for its hilly cityscapes, destructive earthquakes, Detective Harry Callahan, and the Grateful Dead, among many other very popular people places and things. But the thing that is exclusively unique to this great city is its unusually high concentration of gay residents in fact San Francisco is arguably the gay capitol of the world.

But further south down the coast of California, Just outside of La, there is Orange county, perhaps the rainbow flag waving rival to San Francisco's global homo-distinction.

I spent several years living and working in Orange county which acclimated me to living around and observing gay lifestyle. My observations helped form an early acceptance of people living alternative lifestyles. I considered myself quite hep and felt I had developed a nearly flawless gaydar, that is until I was asked out and accepted a date from a gay man.


Bob, a coworker, invited me out for a drink one Friday night after work. I was only eighteen but a friend of mine and also a coworker, lent me his ID. I had been to bars before but being only eighteen I had not yet made the rounds that one in his early twenties does, So I was unaware of what bars were cool, dangerous, boring etc. I was depending on the older more experienced Bob to choose the establishment.


He chose a bar called the Flame Room(I shit you not) which was located at a former K-mart store in Huntington Beach.

In a big Gay Metropolitan area what better place for a big gay bar than a former K-mart store?

And there could have been no better name this establishment could have chose, The Flame room indeed.

You may be thinking: hell, anyone with a 5th grade education would be able to determine a bar called the flame room was most likely a gay bar. Well, I don't have a defense for that statement other than I never suspected Bob was gay, I was excited about all the "older" women I would be encountering, and I wanted to get shitfaced hammered really bad.

My goal upon entering this extremely crowded bar was the same as every other young man> mainline it to the juice bar and get working on a brain cell obliterating Friday night drunk.

Once I had made it to the bar and ordered my drink, was when I began to scope the place out for hot 21+ year old women and realized the chances of finding a woman in this joint was pretty damn slim. The place was wall to wall men.

The preferred attire consisted of t-shirts several sizes too small and extremely tight leather pants> So tight that you could tell what religion each guy was.

It confirmed that men could in fact be floozies.
There were also several men who were shoeless. I don't know what that was all about, apparently it was some flamer trend. There are a lot of things that were peculiar to say the least, but the fear of the unknown overpowered my curiosity.


I looked at Bob with shock that I could feel jumping off my face and he was looking back at me with an expression that seemed to say: yes, this is a gay bar, and I brought you here, so yes again, I am a gay man and I am hoping so much that you don't freak out.

His hopes were dashed. I didn't totally freak out but I did say:

"what the fuck Bob? thanks for bringing me to a fuckin faggot bar!

"Shhh, its not a faggot bar"

"Well what would you call it then"

"A bar, that's all"

"Yea, A bar full of cocksmokers"

"You think I'm queer? That's why you brought me here? Do I look like a queer? Hey bob, the fact is I'm not gay but thanks for potentially giving me a fucking complex about it, this is the best way you could come up with for finding out if I was a snake handler?"


The point I need to interject here is Bob is really quite nervous at this point. Some of what he is feeling and projecting is of course embarrassment. I guess to him asking me out to a gay bar and getting my undesirable reaction was like a straight guy misreading what he perceives to be signs a girl is flirting with him but when he asks her out, she laughs at him. But what Bob is really uncomfortable about is my use of derogatory homosexual epithets and the reason he is so uncomfortable about it is because fags in a gay bar don't really remind you of Richard Simmons or Andy Dick they are not floating around inches above the floor exchanging makeup tips with each other they are some big, badass looking dudes that could easily hold their own in a brawl...they just happen to take it up the ass.

And like I said, this joint was packed. Another misconception about gay men is they are like women as far as their personalities and disposition. Yes there are queens, but gay men are predominantly just as aggressive and ready to throw down at the drop of a hat as straight men.


My tirade of homosexual epithets attracted a whole group of pissed off butt nuts.

They were saying things to Bob. Mostly things like : "is this your paper boy?"
"take him home and teach him some manners, then bring him back so we can all have a turn with him"
"I think you pulled him out of the closet too soon"


Now my anger toward Bob turned into a fight for the survival of my manhood against all the innuendo these fairies were directing at me.



HEY! Im not gay! This asshole brought me here, I didn't know this was a gay bar"

"(sarcastically)sure you're not gay honey"

"IM NOT GAY"

I started making my way to the exit. I know what it feels like to me a female navy midshipmen. I walked through 25 yards of roaring laughter and men blowing kisses at me while getting my ass and balls groped.

"See you next Friday night sweetie" was the last thing I heard as I pushed out the door.


Homophobic indeed.

MickGinny