Learned Helplessness

[wolf]

So, we admitted this guy to the hospital today ... late forties, has some stuff going on, etc. etc.

Not an overly unusual case as far as that goes. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal. Needs hospitalization.

So, he's being admitted.

His kid shows up ... the son.

Kid is very distressed over dad being put in the hospital.

I'm not dealing with his dad at all, the crisis worker is ... but I'm available, so I end up talking to the boy.

Why is the boy so distressed (other than the obvious reason of dad being locked in the nuthouse for the next couple days?)

"I'll starve. There's no one to take care of me."

Mind you, these things are NOT said in a calm tone of voice. The kid's bawling his eyes out.

Panicked.

Sogging up his tee-shirt level of crying.

Big, made-for-Lifetime-TV, you just ran over my puppy sobbing.

"Starve?" I say. "Isn't there any food in the house at all?"

"There's like TV dinners and stuff. But I've never been alone."

"Where's your mom?"

"She's down the shore with my sister."

Great, I'm thinking at this point ... I'm going to have to get children and youth services involved for this child who thinks he's going to starve and be eaten by tigers.

"What am I going to do?? "

"Kid, we'll figure something out here."

"There's no food and I don't have any money!!"

"Kid, how old are you?"

"I'm *sob* *sniff* *sniff* twenty-one."

Two thoughts resulted from this information. The first was, "Outstanding! I don't have to call Children and Youth!! They are a pain in the ass to deal with!" The second thought was, "He did not just say he was twenty-one years old and incapable of feeding himself, did he?"

It does indeed get better ...

"What am I going to do, I don't have any money!"

"Kid, you're twenty one. Do you have a job?"

"Yes."

"So then you have money."

"No, I don't. I bought an '06 car. So I don't have any money ..."

*sob* *weep* *wail* *sob*

I ran out of professionalism at that point and handed him off to someone else.

[SteveDallas]

Well shit, why doesn't he just have the chauffeur fix him something to eat? Honestly.

HAHA! The lad is the merest pupster when it comes to creating sad stories. If he or another of his ilk darkens your doorway again and interrupts your throwing slinky at fan studies, I would suggest that you hand him a list of local food banks. Some places even serve up a hot cooked meal to all who show up. You might also mention to this young gentleman that showing up at the soup kitchen in his '06 car will not win him many friends (other than the professional con element).

On a more serious note, this just goes to show how mental illness can be passed down the generations. Whacko Dad, whacko Son. Whatcha gonna do? Beats me!

I myself must admit that it hard to shed too many tears since the young man seems to be shedding more than enough of his own.

[grazzers]

Very strange.

Was that guy just ignorant or does he have something wrong (without going to the extent of calling him a wacko )

Seeing how he can buy a car I guess it's safe to say he's just an idiot.

[Perry Winkle]

All I can say is "Wow".

[Bullitt]

If I ever stand trial for anything, a guaranteed "jury of my peers" does not sound so appealing anymore...

[Cyclefrance]

So many confusing messages, particularly:

Originally Posted by wolf

"Where's your mom?"

"She's down the shore with my sister."

so his mother doesn't know a bout the father's situation?

"I bought an '06 car. So I don't have any money ..."

he has access to money and the ability to sign up for a new car?

Maybe he is just traumatised by what has happened to his father - he feels helpless and there is a strange logic in the way he recounts what is jumping into his mind as matters for immediate concern. The sequence of events shows no continuity as one might expect of someone who was otherwise mentally perturbed/deficient, but then thankfully who am I to really know...

Unnervingly strange....

[mricytoast]

Sounds like a case of Adult Fetal Syndrome, or whatever it is called. Kid needs to be taken care of. OR some of that uber-lax child raising, "I can't interfere with the child's development" for all who've been to the PETA thread.

[Trilby]

See, this is why I HAD to get OUT! That kind of stuff happened to me on an hourly basis. I could no longer deal with that level of bull-effing-shit. I was so sick of the piles of shite that presented themselves, the surreal neediness of them all..! I've got PTSD from being a nurse!

[wolf]

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

so his mother doesn't know a bout the father's situation?

Yes, she does.

Somebody had to call the police to get this particular ball rolling.

Dad's stress came from somewhere, and it wasn't just the boy's overwhelming naivete.

And the situation is such that helpless young man doesn't want anything to do with his mother right now.

I can't get more specific than that.

[wolf]

Originally Posted by marichiko

On a more serious note, this just goes to show how mental illness can be passed down the generations. Whacko Dad, whacko Son.

If you're going to be serious, please be serious.

In this case only stupidity has been identified as being genetically transmitted.

I didn't, incidentally, say dad was crazy-crazy. I said he needed treatment.

Dad is not tearing apart walls looking for transmitters, he isn't building a landing pad for the venusians in his back yard, nor is he turning into a wombat on nights of the new moon. he's under an extreme amount stress, and it got to him.

[Queen of the Ryche]

I hope the whole family comes through this okay.
Do you know if young man have any other relatives around he can be with while dad gets through this?

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by wolf

Dad is not tearing apart walls looking for transmitters, he isn't building a landing pad for the venusians in his back yard, nor is he turning into a wombat on nights of the new moon.

Those were the kind I liked. I could handle the ones looking for transmitters.

[melidasaur]

Having worked with University students for quite sometime, I can say that this young man is not a rare case. Many people between the ages of 18-21 have been so coddled that they can't do anything for themselves. It is very frustrating and it makes me concerned for the world.

If you have children that are this age or going to be this age soon - CUT THE FLIPPIN' CORD!

[SteveDallas]

"Here, talk to my mom"