Jea-lousy

[Elspode]

Nothing we do, the Mrs and I, is ever so simple as a vacation...not even vacations. :p No, we tend to analyze everything down to the eleventeenth decimal place, dissecting, slicing and dicing it all, trying to come to some meeting of our very, very different minds.

I'm not 100% behind her reasons for wanting to engage herself with others for recreational sex, and she's not 100% behind how I approach such matters...namely, that attraction to someone is, for me, not so simple as, "Yo, sistah, you so fine...hows about we do each other, yo?" As I repeatedly have stated here, attraction for me is about the whole person. For me, having off with a new person is equal parts of the conversation and interpersonal interchange before and after as it is about the whole humpin' and pumpin' portion of the festivities.

I can't help who I am or how I become aroused, and Mrs E understands that all too well. That's why she sees me as a higher risk than she. That's why I have to work major overtime making her feel secure, assured, confident, desired by me.

It can be exhausting. Literally, in the case of today, as I got 3 hours of sleep after all was said and done and talked about last night. And...I did not have sex with that woman. Much talking between us, with me largely listening, and about twenty minutes of passionate necking before I stood up to get home by my curfew of 12:00 AM. But there is going to be a next time for all concerned.

And so the tawdry beat goes on...