Random Ramblings

[Emrikol]

Well, sorry if this is the wrong place to ramble...if it is, just flog me.

I just got a stern "lecture" by my father about my life and the direction it's going in. It all started out by him asking me how much he thinks I could afford in a car payment (seeing as how my current one should have been shot and put out of its misery some time ago). I never asked for help in getting a new car, nor did I even say that I was looking for a new car? He asked me if I could afford $150/Month...which after a few seconds of thinking, I told him that I could easily do that. He then told me that if he (which later he corrects himself to saying mostly my mother) helps me get a new car, that I am not allowed to go and tear it up like I did the other ones (My first car, a hand-me-down from my mother, was a Nissan Sentra, and my current one is a Ford Escort) and I can't put any speaker systems or anything in them (I did this in the Nissan because, as I had told him before, _NONE_ of the factory speakers worked. Zip. Zero. Nada.) (And I guess I tore up my current car by letting that damned dear hit me! I guess I should've known better than to be driving somewhere in the midwest in the wintertime.) He then started asking me about my school, and how many more years I'm going to go to college. Currently, I am in the middle of my third year of college. I am double majoring in Computer Maintenance and Biomedical Electronics. I've told him that at least 25 times. I've also told him at least 35 times that this is my last year. Then I got the lecture about how my parents only paid for the first two years of my sisters' college. Of course, I never asked them to pay any of this, they just offered it. So, after I explained to him that I was going to college, how long, and what for, he started ragging on me about not having a job. That pissed me off. I have two jobs, and I have had them both for four years. Last semester I worked ~50 hours a week and went to school full time. This semester I toned it down to ~40 hours, but I'm still a full time student. He asked how much I got paid an hour, and I told him that at the Library (Where I do Computer work/Administration) I get paid about 6.65/Hr, and at RadioShack (Where I just sell crap...all crap) I get paid 7.00/Hr. So, he said that I'm making the equivalent of about 14.00/Hr...and even though I tried to explain to him how that's wrong, and I can't be working at both places at the same time, he never quite understood it. The, for some reason, we took another adventure in subject changing, and I got the whole "This is my house, and you live under my roof" speech. He was mad because of all of my "Junk" (Which, upstairs I have my mini computer collection... Mac+ here, Apple II there, Apple Lisa over somewhere else, maybe throw in an old TI-99 or two, and some Atari stuff) and my current computer room, which has my stuff in it. I must say though, this room does look like shit, because a few months ago he made me move all of my stuff from one room to another that's about half the size of it...with a bed in there. So, I moved _ALL_ of my things in here. And, since I dabble in electronics and such, it might look like crap, since I have a nice stack of EEPROMS, thousands of CDs, many many many computer parts...but I can't clean the room because there's no room for me to put anything. I tried once, but I was shot down when I moved a few things into another room to make some space to sort.
After that though, I think he complained more about me and how I just don't live up to my potential and I should have a direction in life (I guess two jobs, two college degrees and a plan for my life don't count). He was telling me that when he was 16 he had three jobs and a wife and a child, when he was 17 he had two children, and (yep, you guessed it) by 18 he had three children (although, there's a three year gap between me and my closest sister). When he was 21 he owned two houses. (We bought out second house when I was in sixth grade...I must've grown up fast) It was then more or less redundant talks about all of the previous subjects...because I must not have heard him the first or second times.
When we were done "talking" he went outside to feed his horse.

And here I am...21 years of age, totally stressed out between my two jobs (because I got off work about 10 minutes before this started), on finals week, one hour away from a final, with a sinus headache, out of money because 'tis the season, having other relationship problems with my girlfriend (nothing major I hope), and I have a flat tire.

I cried my eyes out like a little school girl.